A Single Reason Why.

Warmth Is A Drug

Sky sat by the fire, Iris slowly drifting off to sleep in his lap as he sang a soft lullaby for her. He patted her chest gently. The night felt especially cold and neither the fire nor the shawl draped around his shoulders seemed to provide much warmth. The wind howling outside his windows and the eerie silence amplified the feeling of melancholy that was creeping up on him.

Iris was finally asleep. He stared at her face wondering how her life would be without him in it. He probably would have started crying by now. His thoughts were suffocating him. But the tears wouldn't come, he didn't have any left. He took in a shaky breath and got up from the chair carefully, so as not to wake Iris up. He placed her in the crib and tucked her in. Then he started walking towards his bed, already dreading the nightmares.

"Why are you always so busyyy?", Rain whined while sitting on the hotbed at the beach, soaking in the sun. Sky wasn't in the mood of talking so he just stood near Rain's hotbed and continued tapping on his phone, arranging files for the meeting he was headed to.

Rain felt something was off when he didn't get a reply from Sky, normally he would at least get a small excuse. But looking at Sky, he knew Sky would deflect any sort of question about what was wrong right now. So he instead continued whining, "It's a Sunday Sky. Spend some time with me, will you? It's not like we see each other often anyway".

He was expecting Sky to get mad but instead, Sky sighed deeply. "It's only gonna take an hour. Want to watch a movie together in the movie room? Just don't choose horror, please. The last time you did, a whole tub of popcorn was wasted and P'Payu had to stay up all night listening to you being paranoid", he laughed remembering P'Payu's state the next morning.

"How do you know he stayed up all night?", Rain asked while narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Sky chuckled and said, "He sometimes shares thoughts with me about how hard life is because of a certain someone".

Rain frowned at that and a little dramatically, said, "So you guys bitch about me behind my back?". "Yup, but he says some sweet things too", Sky said with a smirk knowing what was coming next.

Rain quickly grabbed Sky's arm and shook it a little, "What is it? What does he say?". Sky just pulled his arm out of Rain's grip and started walking back into the hotel to get dressed for the meeting.

"Wait! Sky! Come back! You are so mean Sky. At least tell me if he talks sweet things about me! Or is it about someone else? I swear if it's about someone else I'm gonna...", Rain was yelling by the end of it, not caring about all the people around him giving him weird looks.

Sky turned around and started walking backwards while he yelled back, "He was talking about someone who seemed innocent but made him wear a uniform in the bedroom".

Rain was blushing furiously and Sky started laughing so hard looking at his friend getting all flustered. He continued walking backwards as he laughed but suddenly stumbled when he hit something. Or someone, as two arms came around him gripping his shoulders to stabilize him.

He was still smiling and turned around to apologize to whoever he had bumped into. But his smile abruptly dropped as he noticed who it was. He quickly pulled back and mumbled a quick sorry while not meeting P'Pai's eyes.

Prapai tried to reach for Sky again, but Sky didn't want to face this right now, or ever for that matter. So he quickly dodged Prapai and started walking towards the resort as if nothing had happened.

He knew he had to face the consequences of what happened yesterday. But not right now. He didn't know what would come out of his mouth if he faced P'Pai right now. He wasn't sure about what he was feeling and it scared him.

Before yesterday he didn't want to have anything to do with P'Pai, loathing him for breaking his trust. He thought he could keep avoiding him. But yesterday his body acted on its own. Lust taking over rationality.

And now he was more afraid than ever. He had felt that warmth from P'Pai yesterday and it was the same as two years ago. But that warmth was a drug. A drug he was addicted to, two years ago. And when it was taken away from him, he was left shaking numb and hazy like an addict on withdrawal.

Now he had a small taste of it again yesterday. But this time he wasn't a fool to believe that he could keep that warmth forever. This time he knew that even just imagining having that drug would lead to his ruin.

Rain watched the awkward interaction between Sky and P'Pai. It was nothing like their normal interactions where they tried to either ignore each other or make each other miserable. This one was different, something had happened yesterday, and Rain was sure of it.

P'Pai was still looking at Sky's retreating figure with a strange sort of longing in his eyes. Rain normally hated P'Pai's guts. He could still remember the nights he had spent with Sky after he was hurt. How he cried himself to sleep every night while waiting for his wounds to heal, so P'Pai wouldn't have to worry about it once they met.

Rain also remembered how Sky had completely disappeared almost two months after the party. Not answering any calls or texts. Then two months later he got a call from Sky. Sky assured him he was fine and not to worry about him.

Rain was worried out of his mind for two months. So now he was angry beyond words when he heard Sky on the phone asking him not to worry. He started yelling at Sky, asking him where he was so he could come to him. But Sky refused to tell him that.

He asked Rain to wait for a little while longer before he told him where he was. Both were in tears by the end of that phone call asking each other to stay safe and take care of themselves.

He guessed Sky was continuing college with online classes as he saw Sky's name on all the mark lists of their tests. He saw P'Pai now and then when he went to hang out at P'Payu's place. Initially, P'Pai tried asking about Sky's whereabouts. But Rain just replied by saying he had no idea and ending the conversation with a cold glare almost every time.

After eight months, Rain got a mail with plane tickets to Phuket and a message from Sky. He lied to P'Payu saying he had to meet his sick aunt and went to meet Sky. He wanted to beat the shit out of Sky as soon as he saw him. But when they met, Rain had stopped in his tracks, dumbly staring at Sky with a small bundle in his arms.

Sky looked weak and exhausted with pale skin and sunken eyes. He also looked like he had lost a lot of weight. But he had a rosy glow to his cheeks as he glanced at that bundle in his arms and then back at Rain with a smile that Rain had only seen on his mother's face when she looked at him.

"Rain, meet Iris, your niece."

He came back to the present when he felt someone tap on his shoulder. It was P'Payu. "Let's have lunch if you are done sunbathing baby", he said smiling at Rain. "I know you and Sky bitch about me behind my back", he stated with a pout. P'Payu just chuckled at that. "I'll explain everything to you later. Let's get out of the sun first. I don't want my baby to be sunburnt".

Rain was still annoyed but he melted a little at P'Pay's words. He complied with P'Payu and walked towards the cafe near the beach.

While walking he turned around to look for P'Pai as he remembered his train of thought earlier. But P'Pai was already gone. He didn't understand what was going on between them right now. Rain just shrugged it off for now, thinking of talking about it to Sky during the movie.