His Hidden Wife (A Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter Thirty Nine (Justin)

39 - Downfall

'Without even realizing it, you taught me a lot of things. Not only about life, but how it's okay to feel something extraordinary about someone.'
- Anon.

~*~

Had it been three...? No. It's been four weeks. Funny how time seemed to pass by in a blur — there were days that dragged on too much and there were nights where... I sleep and wake up the next morning in a swift. A month had already turned, but as cliché and overrated as it sounds like, it still felt like it was only yesterday since that night happened — the night that I lost her.

When she left, she took something with her and now, I was left empty.

I did try to follow her though. I tried to fight and bring her back. I did. But in the end, I couldn't. Her dad was right. Anthony was right. The moment I drove myself to Anthony's house, he was the one who welcomed me with a blank face, looking straight at me. It was as if he knew I'd come and he would do anything in his power not to let me see even an inch of hair from his daughter.

"It's enough Justin." He had said. "Three years is enough. Face your challenges alone. My daughter doesn't need any more of your problems. I don't want to see her crying again. It's enough that I know all your doings for the past three years. I would've killed you for the times you've hurt her but thinking you're Jeremy's son and my daughter's husband stopped me from doing so. But now that things changed, I won't hesitate to do so. So, I'm giving you time to step back and get the hell out of here!"

"Please Anthony just let me talk to her, even for a—"

"What do you want to do? Let my daughter be your wife again and take care of your son from another woman? Bullshit! Let my daughter go. She deserves it from you."

"I-I'm...s-s-sorry."

"You realized things a little bit too late Justin. If you would've..." he trailed off "Stay away from my daughter. You're not welcome in this threshold anymore."

I don't know how I got home that night. I remembered drinking a lot of alcohol into my system until I forget my surrounding and numb things I didn't want to feel. I remembered waking up and having the worst hangover in my entire life. I remembered I thought I had forgotten things but the moment I was getting sober, the excruciating pain and the hard truth that she wasn't at my reach anymore made me drink again and again and again. I was drinking in the morning. I didn't go to the studio. I turned off my phone. I isolated myself with bottles of alcohol around me. I didn't want to get sober. I did not want to recall what had happened because every time I do, it was making me crazy. My heart cannot take what my mind was telling me. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to delude myself that she'll be here. She's going to take care of me, just like old times. She's going to knock outside that door and tells me that I'm just having a bad dream.

This pain... this pain felt nothing like before. My insides was empty and hollow but the sharp sensation of misery was digging through me. I was aching but there was a huge void that gapped within me. I was so lost. I want her to go back. She has to come home. She has to be here again.

That was me for a whole week. Probably is, but mom, dad, Scooter, Ryan, Chaz, almost every one of them tried and is trying to help me. Selena, even. She (the baby) might also be the reason why I told and pushed myself that I should get better — she's pregnant. I still could not wrapped my head around that fact. I was in too much denial the first days but ah fuck, this wasn't her fault. The baby she's carrying is mine. No matter how much I wanted to take things back, I couldn't anymore. She needs my strength. My son or daughter needs me. I tried. I tried to be better. I did, eventually. Slowly.