ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ | S.Aizawa

𝟎𝟎𝟒

Thinking ' '

Out loud " "

Past 'Italics'

☆

"HI sweetie!" I waved as Riley made his way to my car. It was almost Thrusday two days away from my date and I still haven't told Riley.

Of course he has some suspicions when I text at the dinner table or he hears my laughing in my room. It's the little things that are giving hints.

I already plan to drop him off at my dads house Friday morning so I can get my hair and nails done for my date.

I haven't been on a date with someone in a long time. And I hate to say it but I'm ok happy about this. I happy I'm finally opening myself again.

And I hope Riley could only agree with me.

☆

"BABY what do you want for dinner?" I asked looking into the fridge realizing that I needed to go grocery shopping.

"Ah shit we might need to get pizza..." I sighed under my breath looking at Riley who had a soft smile on his face.

"Can we get McDonald's?" He had the sweetest smile on his face as he asked me, that damn smile... he'd know I would say yes with that smile. Plus I need to win him over with the announcement.

I smiled and gave him a kissed on his head, "Of course baby, let's go now"

I grabbed my keys and wallet, making my way to my car with Riley in front of me.

We both got into the car and I started it pulling out of the driveway and driving down the street.

"Riley.. baby?" He looked up at me through the mirror.

"Yes mama?"

"What do you think about me going out on a date?" Starting off slow, ripping the bandage off slow.

His nostrils flared as he thought of my question. He shock his head and gave me a smile.

"If your happy mama, I just don't want you to get hurt again..." I almost felt like crying right there. My baby is too aware for his age. We've been through so much together.

I smiled at him and gave him a nod. "Well.. I do have a date this weekend.. are you okay with that?"

His eyebrows slightly pushed together as he looked out the window. "Yeah that's fine!" I could tell he was anxious about this, maybe I was pushing. Maybe I shouldn't go out.

"Riley, baby talk to me"

"Mama, I just don't want anyone to hurt you again. And I don't like when men try talking to you. They're werid.." he mumbled, his eyebrows were almost stuck in that frowned position.

I let the breath I've been holding in out, and reached back and graded his hand, giving him a squeeze. He squeezed back.

"You are my first priority, if you don't like him I won't date him. Easy as that. I want you to be comfortable I would never want to put you in a uncomfortable position." I tried to reassure him as I was driving into the drive through.

He reminded silent so I ordered his favorite which was a hamburger happy meal with extra fries and a chocolate milk.

I gave him his food as I ate some of mine, before we would drive back home.

☆

I sighed and gripped the test that I just took in my hands. Fuck. My body shook as I started to sob. I didn't want this to happen, this shouldn't have happened.  Why did I let this happen, I took my pills and he worn a condom. Why..

"Y/n. You good." Bre asked as I just sat there. I couldn't breathe. I shouldn't have left this happen.

"No.." my voiced cracked as I tried to speak. "Bre I'm pregnant"

"Holy fucking shit." For once I agreed with Bre. She let out a long sigh and tried to open the door. I unlocked it for her, coming in and sitting on the floor with me, hugging my side. I laid my head on her shoulder and sob even harder. We weren't ready for a baby. I wasn't ready for a baby. We could barely pay our bills and now this.

"What am I going to do" I sobbed into Bre's shoulder as she help me tighter not saying a word. We didn't know the answer, I didn't know what to say or do.

"Are you going to tell him?" Bre asked. I sighed and she gripped me tightly. I could tell him. It was supposed to me a one time thing. He's my best friend, he wouldn't stay.

"I.. will have to..." was all I could manage to say to her.

James wouldn't want to keep this baby. I've known this man for 15 years, basically my whole life. I know him. I know him. He wouldn't want this baby.

Bre sighed and pulled me even closer. "I'll be with you every step of the way" I couldn't say anything, I'm just so greatful of Bre. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

☆

I tucked Riley into bed and gave him a kiss on his forehead. He smiled and pulled the blankets closer to his face. He kissed his hand and placed it on my stomach.

"I miss you Kai.." he smiled pulling his hand away, "Goodnight Mama" I smiled though my tears giving him another kiss.

"Goodnight baby" I got up and walked to his door closing it behind me, letting my tears far silently.

'I'm so sorry baby' I thought as I continued to muffle my sobs with my hand.

On shaking legs I made my way to my room, letting my cries muffle into my pillow.

I am a horrible mother.

☆

AIZAWA

I had finally made it home with Eri, Hitoshi staying in the dorms. Eri has telling me about her day and about her friend Riley. Eri was always excited when talking about him, it was her first friend made at her first school.

"And, and he pushed the kid down that was being mean to me!" Eri smiled as she continued to ramble about her day. We were sitting at the dinning table eating some leftovers, I have yet to tell Eri about my date this weekend.

I have been putting it off, wanting both of my children here. But Hitoshi insists that he stay at the dorms, so I'll be telling him over a text.

"Eri, sweetheart?" She looked at me as I interrupted her. She looked up at me with a smile, nodding her head.

"I have a date this weekend" There, rip off the bandage fast. Her eyes widened, and she smiled good falling from her mouth.

"FINALLY!!" Her cry was muffled with the food stuffed into her face. I sighed at her reaction, a smile spreading on my face.

"Your very happy." She stopped her little celebration, "Of course! Daddy won't die alone!" And there it was.

My sighed turned into laugher as she continued to try and failed to dance in her seat.

I hope this date goes well.

☆

1174 words!

Updated: 01/22

A little of your backstory! I hope you enjoyed this story! Have a good day! Don't forget to comment and vote! Bye lovely's