Dear Dahlia (Shadow And Bone)

Chapter 17

It was early morning when Wadi found Dahlia in the gardens. She was watching the flowers sway in the breeze.

"Dahlia," Wadi called. Dahlia looked up.

"Mama," she smiled, relieved.

Wadi ran towards her and enveloped her in a hug. Then, she pulled away. "Are you alright?" she asked, cupping her daughter's face in her hands.

"I'm alright," Dahlia replied. "Saida visited me and stayed with me the whole night."

"...Saida?" Wadi asked hesitantly. Even though she had wanted to visit Dahlia, Kirigan had forbidden her and Rahim from going to see their daughter, under the advice: "you are still in training. It would be unwise to waste your energy."

Wadi knew it was because Dahlia was otkazat'sya. The order had made her blood boil. So she'd gone to bed with a worried heart and had tried to sleep before pacing around her room. And still, Saida managed to sneak out, the inferni thought.

"What's wrong?" Dahlia asked.

"It's nothing." Wadi shook her head.

Dahlia frowned. Then, she paused. "Why didn't you and Papa tell me you were grisha?"

Wadi glanced away. "You...we..." she sighed. It wouldn't do any good to answer her daughter if she wasn't looking at her. So she met her gaze. "We thought it would be best to keep it from you after...the incident. We thought you'd react negatively."

Dahlia paused. "Why...did you think that?"

"Well, after...you know, I just..." Wadi sighed again. She knew answering this question wouldn't be easy, but it was harder than she originally thought. "We didn't know if your opinion of grisha had changed."

Dahlia glanced away from her. "I wish you'd told me." Wadi watched her daughter look back at her. "I wouldn't have told anyone."

Wadi smiled sadly. "I know. And I regret that now. If we had, we wouldn't have been taken to the Little Palace and-"

Tears were welling up in her eyes. This was stupid. This was such a stupid thing to cry over, but she didn't care.

Wadi took in a shaky breath. She felt Dahlia grab her hands as she looked at the ground and tried to focus.

"You not telling me didn't lead to you being forcibly tested. You and Papa know what the Little Palace does to grisha. None of this is your fault. I promise."

Wadi looked up to face Dahlia now. Dahlia gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. Wadi smiled bitterly. "I have trouble believing that. But," she added, "I will try to."

Dahlia smiled gently. She pulled her mother into a hug. Wadi hugged back, and she finally let the tears fall down her cheeks.