What If Instead Of...

27 Vivian

Honestly, our hasty departure in the morning was hard for me.

Aiden didn't want to meet Leo and Sabina to say goodbye, which leads me to think that yesterday's conversation didn't go so smoothly.

We woke up and set off at the crack of dawn and, to tell the truth, I was going to take a nap during the trip, but now we're driving for the third hour, and I still haven't closed my eyes.

The car cabin is filled with silence – it seems none of us wants to break it.
I'm thinking about what to do when we get home.
I will have to go to work in the flower shop again and only occasionally get out to lectures to improve my knowledge on a topic I really love.
Fragments of one of the conversations with Sabina come to mind, when she advised me to take a chance and find out about vacancies in the Museum.

"It's better to do it slowly, but still, than to only dream perfectly."

She's probably right.

Yes, at the moment the situation is such that I get paid for something I don't really like, but it is in my power to make things change for the better.
I have already learned a lot of information from books and lectures, why not try my luck and go for an interview?
Suddenly, my knowledge is already enough for at least some occupation?

By the time Aiden stops at a roadside cafe, I firmly decide that today or tomorrow I will contact a representative of the Museum and ask if there is a vacant position and when I can come over to discuss everything.

Flowers don't die in paintings...
I feel like I can no longer be in an atmosphere of decay. It's important for me to feel life.

"Are you okay?" Aiden asks, seeing how I froze in thought.

"Yes, yes, I just think what I can change to get a little more lively."

Despite the silent few hours, there is no tension between us.
Probably because we both understand everyone has their own worries that need to be dealt with.

"I've been wanting to offer you to go buy some household goods and plants for a long time to make my apartment more comfortable and cozy," the guy says, peering into my face to catch a reaction.

I break into a smile, "With pleasure."

Maybe a change of pace will really work.
For both of us.

There is a mutual unspoken reluctance in the air to return to the problems from which we tried to escape.

Aiden smiles back at me and covers my hand with his, but his eyes are sad.
I should remind him to look for help of a professional after a while, until he turned to his old friends – alcohol and fights.

I used to be able to count on Leo, but now I can only count on myself.

"You are the only person in the world with whom I can feel happiness."

I now have a huge responsibility.

I'm brought back to reality again when the car stops and Aiden announces that we've arrived.
The guy decided to carry out his plans without wasting time and brought me to a home improvement hypermarket where one can find any household goods, including furniture, textiles and tableware.

My eyes are already starting to get dazzled by the abundance of colors at the entrance.
I have always loved everything related to decor, but in my world there is not so much choice and trips to such stores can quickly get bored.
Here, the goods are perceived by me as exhibits in a museum – I want to look at them, touch them, admire them.

Aiden immediately notices how my eyes are gleaming, and does not fail to clarify, "Take whatever you like."

Of course, I'm not going to exploit his generosity.