Shy- Namgi

Confontation

A/N- okay so the recap on there last chapter for those that skipped it.
Basically Yunki just felt really insecure about himself and his weight and had really bad thoughts due to it. This lead to many things that it shouldn't have to lead to but for his circumstance it did. Which included things like (mini TW) $elf h@rm, su1cid@l thoughts, p@nic @ttacks. You get the idea. Yeah, that was it basically. Joon then heard him having a panic attack and went in to check if he was okay and may have seen something? Maybe not? We'll find out 😌

Also, if anyone wants to talk due to things about last chapter or in general, my dm's are open, speak to me if not anyone else.

He rocked me back and forth, my breath coming to a slower pace, however not yet one that was that great. I don't think it will be for a while. Well, that's how it felt anyway.

Although, surprisingly, I did calm down rather quickly. Despite that, my anxiety was quickly returning as the man hugging me brought up the very thing I was scared of.

"Baby..." he started off slowly, being cautious of his words.
I let out a "Yeah" that couldn't have been heard by a mouse if it was any quieter.
"Can I make a suggestion...? It's nothing bad, I'm just a bit worried and it's only just made it's way into my mind and I'd like to check something," he explained in short.
Not really understanding, but scared to say no, I let out a shaky, "okay..."

He plopped me down on the sofa and left to the kitchen, quickly coming back with a small plastic bag.
How have I never seen that before? It's been in the kitchen this whole time?? Wait why do I care, I wanna know what's inside it! ...what's inside it?

"I got this a little while ago as I started to think about the possibility of this perhaps being true. And then you started getting sick so I didn't wanna overwhelm you with it. That is before I realised that the whole being sick thing, might actually be a symptom for this..." he admitted, placing himself - and the bag - beside me.

I stared at it, the unknowingness of its contents causing an uproar in anxiety.
"...right," I fumbled with my fingers, not entirely sure what to do with myself.

He noticed this and continued, easing my nerves, "And, then I'd also realised that we weren't exactly... inactive, while you were in heat. As well as noticing you've put on, the cutest amount of weight- And don't get me wrong! There is nothing at all wrong with that! You look bloody adorable, and super healthy. I just wanna squish your cheeks and cuddle you all freaking day! Which, unfortunately, I can't do." He started sulking at his inability so follow his wish, however pulled me into a really tight hug as soon as he saw a trace of tears in my eyes.

"Heyy, baby. There's nothing to be sad about. I know it might make you feel uncomfortable inside, does it?" He asked with absolute sincerity, no trace of malice in his eye.

I nodded gently, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment, "I-I'm sorry..."
I tried pushing myself off of him to save him (bad myself) from further embarrassment, however he held onto me tighter.

I looked up at him with - what may be called - doe eyes, confused as to why he won't let go.
"Don't go baby, this is what I need to talk to you about..." he said, pressing my head to his chest gently. Stroking my (now growing) hair, he continued, "Because I have a small feeling you may be pregnant- Now don't panic baby, I know this is a big thing and all but I don't want you to worry!"

I sat up instantly, all signs of sadness gone. The only remaining feelings were fear, confusion, excitement and regret.
I'm... pregnant? Could this actually be... possible?

It all made sense now. The morning sickness, the putting weight on, the eating more, the mood swings, the lack of energy. I was pregnant.

"Are...are you sure?" I asked, still a little wary of the idea.
"Well, I think it's best you checked," he handed me the plastic bag, allowing me to finally see what was inside. No longer to my surprise, was a box of pregnancy tests.

I nodded taking the bag in my hands, about to stand up before he stops me again.

"What is it this time?" I asked, not getting why he kept stopping me from leaving.
He took an - evident - deep breath before speaking, "There's something else I need to talk to you about. This part might be a little less... chill."

This made me really nervous.
Oh god. What's happened? Is he breaking up with me? Has he found someone better? What if he doesn't want me to be pregnant? What if he wants me to get an abortion!? Should I...? I am really young. So is he... How would we be able to raise a child...? Wait! WAIT!! What if he's found out?! What if he saw!? You did make a mess! But you cleaned it up... Oh god! What if I left something on the floor?!

Without realising, I started to hyperventilate and panic, once again. Without me even acknowledging it, Joon calmed me down and brought me back to a settled state of mind body.

He started slowly, hinting at what he meant, "When I was getting you out of the bathroom earlier, I may or may not have... seen something I don't think I was supposed to."

Trigger Warning ahead!!

He rubbed my back slowly, placing my head back into his chest, "When I was hugging you, in the bathroom. I saw, what looked like, a dismantled razor- And I totally get it if I've got the wrong idea! But the issue I have with this is that I also saw some blood, on floor... And one or two bloody tissues, beside that."

I gripped onto his shirt tighter, squeezing my eyes shut once again - desperately wanting this all to go away.

"Look, baby. I can tell that you're struggling, I don't know what with. But you're for sure struggling with something. I wanna make sure that you can feel better. Whether that means something like therapy, or just simply me spending more time with you. Whether it's taking you out on more dates, or doing less stuff with you. Whatever it is that's gonna make you feel better, I will do it!" He poured out, not wasting a moment to explain his feelings on the situation.

Tears brimmed my eyes, once more. The only difference this time being, I couldn't hold them in. And, as there was river of tears on my face, there felt a new beginning of honesty. An honesty between us, that I never wanted broken again. I hated having to hide things and lie to the love of my life. But I felt I had no other choice.

So from that moment - all through the night, for as long as it were needed - we were honest with each other. About everything.