Love Without Uncertainty | JB | a.u | BWWM

Twenty Five.

It did look weird that Justin was in a suit when we got to Subway but he was naturally confident so it didn't phase him.

We walked in, hand in hand, and stood in line to wait to place our meal order.

"What do you want to eat?" Justin looked at me.

I bit my lip, unsure of what I really wanted because there was so much to pick from.

"I'll have whatever you're having. But, if you're having a foot-long, I'll have a smaller version of it." I said.

"And to drink?"

"Uh... a Sprite?"

Justin nodded and did a quick look around the room.

"Why don't you find us a table? I'll come join you shortly." He kissed my hand quickly and I managed a smile.

"Okay." I walked off to the nearest table that I could see. I took my jacket off and placed it on the chair next to me.

Not too long after I'd gotten comfortable, Justin joined me at the table with our food.

My face lit up at the sight and smell of everything and I realised how hungry I'd gotten.

Justin smiled, amused, as he took off his jacket and tie and undid the first two buttons of his shirt.

"You were hungry?" He said when I unwrapped my sandwich.

"Yeah." I blushed.

"Me too." He said.

I watched him eat for a moment and I realised he must've been really hungry cause he wasn't stopping for anything.

I frowned.

"When last did you have a decent meal, Justin?" I asked.

He was certainly caught off guard by my question. He wiped his lips with his napkin and cleared his throat.

"The answer to that isn't straight." He said. "I've had meals cooked for me by Catherine, under my mom's orders of course." He shrugged.

"And you didn't eat?"

He shook his head.

"I couldn't."

My frown deepened and I reached over and gave Justin's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Dileah, please..." He sighed half heartedly.

I looked down at my food and didn't feel so hungry anymore. I was so worried about him. Would I sound like a nagger if I suggested certain things?

"You need rest." I said softly, too afraid to speak normally in case Justin found me annoying.

He just looked at me.

"Just a couple of days-- a week, max-- of no work or stress." I went on.

"I can't..."

"I'm sure your dad wont mind taking over for a week, Justin. Please? You're tired-- you look tired."

He frowned.

"I'll... think about it." He muttered.

I didn't push any further. I took a bite of my sandwich.

"How's Ms Jones doing?" Justin changed the topic.

"Good, I guess. Wise as ever." I smiled small, "She's thinking of retiring. Had to beg her to stay in New York and not leave for England."

"That's nice. The retirement part and the part when you said she's doing well."

I nodded.

"She said a lot of helpful things. I feel better." I let out a breath and managed a big smile. "I'm just... in need of rest."

Justin gave me a small smile.

"I wanna cook dinner for you all week. Or with you. If you take the week off. And we can do some fun stuff in the house. My treat."

"Like what?" I could tell he was really interested.

"Foot massages, facial masks to get your skin glowing... your hair needs a bit of attention too, might I add? And we can watch movies and have... bubble baths." I smiled shyly.

Justin's smile broadened just a tad bit.

"I should be pampering you like that." He said.

"Your happiness brings me joy. I just want to see you smile again; my favourite smile. And if I have to massage your feet, wash your hair and cover your face with avocado or mud, so be it."

He chuckled lightly.

"I should make that week-long leave happen then." He sipped his soda.

I smiled to myself.

What was I getting myself into?

--

Being back at the penthouse, with the view of Miami's sunset so close to me as I lay on the bed in Justin's room, was so refreshing. I'd changed into my pyjamas and cuddled a pillow as I watched the city.

Justin was in the shower and he'd been in there for a while. I hoped he was alright. I remembered my long showers back in New York and it made me wonder what filth Justin was scrubbing off.

'Maybe he's just standing there?'

Even worse. Over thinking was never good.

I just wanted him to smile. Was that too much to ask? It would be easier for me to recover if he worked with me. But I made him a promise and I hoped he'd be up it all.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes.

I still couldn't believe that there was once a little life growing inside me. It was crazy. I knew that even if I did get past this, I'd never stop wondering how life would've been if...

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. Only then did I realise that Justin was done showering.

He smelled like lavender.

He kissed my cheek and spooned me, holding me close.

"You smell good." I said, not opening my eyes.

"And you're tired." He said.

I nodded.

Justin pulled the covers over us.

"Thank you for today." He said. "The wooden angel, talking to me, Subway..."

I smiled a little.

"Today was good." I said. "We tried to smile."

I heard Justin chuckle lightly.

"Tried."

"Yeah." I said.

He kissed my shoulder and said nothing.

"Goodnight." I whispered, turning in his arms to face him.

He stroked my cheek once.

"Goodnight, sweetheart." He said. "I love you."

And a smile crept onto my lips.