The Lovers Connection: Volume 1

Chapter 17

Fritz’s POV:

Today’s Thursday. Lunch. Yesterday I didn’t get to really talk to Jessie during class cause of the teacher talking the whole time. He still asked how I was feeling and then told me its gonna be ok. Jessie’s a sweetheart. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. Anyway, I need to find Riley in the courtyard during lunch today. I texted Jules and told him what I was doing and told him to be safe because of the birds and he just told me that he was finishing us some work in another class so he’ll be ok. Which is good. I want my teddy bear to be safe. I was walking down he hallway to head outside to find Riley and when I stepped outside, I spotted him immediately. He was alone by some building. He was hiding this scar on his neck but I didnt wanna be too pushy just yet. I quickly made my way over towards him and he noticed me. “Hey, Fritz.” He greeted me as I walked over. “Hey, Riley.” I greeted back as I made it up to him, “So what did you want to talk about?” He took a moment to think. “I wanted to see if you were ok and then tell you about... Something else.” He said. “Oh um. Ok.” I said, confused. He pulled himself up and we both started to walk. I walked next to him on his left and he walked on my right. He was hugging himself slightly too. He seemed almost upset about something. “So um...” He started, “Hows everything been lately? I know I haven’t gotten to chat with you about stuff. I haven’t been having the best week myself.” He said. “I’ve been ok. Not the greatest. Jessie helped me yesterday with some... emotional support. And Jules’s been helping me too. The only problem with that is that he gets hurt trying to protect me.” I told him. “What do you mean?” “Those birds were picking on us on Thursday and then they started to push Jules around and it just... Really hurt me.” I said. Riley looked down. “I’m sorry that happened. I wish I was there with you two to help but... I had a little problem that day and couldn’t find you in time.” “Its ok. That’s not your fault.” I told him. It went quiet for a moment. He didn’t speak at all or even make a noise. Then he finally spoke, “Do you... Do you trust Jessie?” I was confused. “Do I trust him?” I repeated his question. “Yea.” I thought for a moment. “I... I do. Why do you ask?” I said. He took another second. “I told him something. Something very, very personal and I’m just... I’m scared he might tell someone.” He told me. “Oh?” “Yea. And... We had a moment yesterday with some guys and... That didn’t end well either. I’ve just been very confused lately of my feelings and I’m scared to go down the wrong path.” He told me, “Jessie also invited me to the football game tomorrow night for the school and he said his Gator crew wanted to apologise to me about them picking on me. And I just... I dont feel safe about it. My mind’s telling me I shouldn’t trust him but my heart is telling me that I should trust him. I’m just scared, Fritz.” He finished. It took me a moment to take all of that in. “I... I think you should go with your heart on it.” I answered him, finally. “Are... Are you sure?” He asked me, slightly looking at me. “Yea. I mean, I trust him and Jules trusts him. Yesterday he kinda was my emotional support and let me cry in his shoulder so...” “You cried?” Riley asked me sorta worried. “Yea... I’m not very positive about myself and certain things. I’m very emotional. Probably more emotional than Jules. But um... I’m just really soft on the inside. So a lot of words could hurt me very easily. And feelings... Like how Jules was being pushed around, that made me really upset. Jules’s not a strong guy like Jessie is or you are. He’s just as emotional as me and I know if he keeps putting himself first to protect me, he’ll turn out as a wreak as much as I am. Thats why I cried to Jessie.” I told him. Riley was speechless. Didn’t know what to say. Then finally, “I’m so sorry Fritz. I... I dont know what to say...” He apologised. “It’s ok.” “No, that’s not ok. You’re a great person and you don’t deserve to feel all of this sadness and pain. The world’s just stupid.” He said, “And you aren’t no wreak. You’re a wonderful person with a wonderful soul. That doesn’t make you a wreak at all.” Just from him saying that, I felt my heart began to pour. I should tell him. I thought to myself. It hesitated for a second and then remembered that Rileys trust worthy. And I love him. So I trust him. “I used to not be like this, Riley.” I started off. He stopped in the middle of that hallway, making me stop too. We were near more of an empty area so no one would just casually walk by and bother us. “What do you mean?” He asked, confused. I took a deep breath and told him, “I used to be this hyper, talkative fox who loved to have friends, go on so many adventures, and be happy. I never acted like this or felt this emotional towards things ever in my life. But... I slipped up and people bullied me, because I was gay and different. That caused my scopophobia disorder and made me go through a really hard depression. I never felt happy anymore. I grew scared of making friends and... I almost gave up. It was terrible. I was terrible. And now I’m a wreak of emotions all the time. I can barely hold myself up in place anymore. I’m just so broken and...” I stopped. Riley just hugged me. Stopped me mid sentence and just hugged me. It felt sweet and warm, so I just hugged him back. He had no words and nor did I. I really hope I didn’t break him or anything. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him... “Fritz...” He suddenly said. I just listened to him, “I... I’m so sorry Fritz. You don’t deserve this. You never deserved any of this. I... I almost can’t figure out how to react about this.” He said. I just held him back, laying my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. I loved this hug. Even if it was an emotional hug. I loved it. After a minute of just standing there and holding eachother, he finally pulled back a little and looked me in my eyes. I looked back. His ruby eyes almost looked broken. Shattered. Because of me. He wasn’t crying or anything, he was just... Sad for me. “I’ll never understand what your feelings are but I promise that I’m always here for you. To talk or just someone to vent to. I’m always here for you. To help you get that spark of joy again that you lost, or just be a friend here for you, Ok?” He told me. I just gave him a smile and he returned it. Then, I guess he realised what he was doing and slowly released me and just looked down. I think he was still upset. “Hey, Riley?” I asked for his attention. He looked back up at me. “As terrible as it all may sound, it’s all ok because I have a friend like you.” I started. His bunny ear perked in confusion. I continued, “I’ve never had someone that I could call a friend in so long that I almost gave up on life but after I met Jessie, Jules, and you, I feel like I actually can be happy. You know, like, have friends that I never had before. Trust someone that knows how I feel and they trust me. That’s my spark of joy I have. Because someone like you came to help me. Even if I’ve known you for barely two weeks.” I told him, blushing madly. He chuckled nervously and looked aside. “Heh. I um... I didn’t know you thought of me like that. I’m happy you view me as that. I never thought I was that great of a person. Heh.” He said with another little nervous chuckle. “Your a wonderful person. Even if we don’t really interact too much, you still text me and ask me how I’m doing and such, and that’s very nice of you.” I said. I think he was blushing now. It was almost obvious to tell. I wish I could’ve told him how much I loved him but it felt too soon to confess those feelings yet. Plus I wanna ask out all of those boys together. “Well... I’m happy you view me as that kind of person. And I’m happy to always help you.” He said. I gave him a smile and he lovingly returned it. It went quiet for a moment. I looked into his sweet eyes and could only dream of him. But I was blushing too much and I didn’t want to make everything awkward. “Anyway... we kinda got off track of the whole situation.” I said, trying to change the subject. “Oh yea. S-sorry. I was just worried about you.” He apologised. “N-n-no it’s ok. I understand that. I just didn’t wanna use up all of this time to help you by talking about myself and my problems.” I said. “But it was still nice of you to tell me, though. I know that was probably really personal and I’m happy you trusted me with that.” He said. I smiled. “A-Anyway, Jessie.” He said. “Yea, Jessie.” I agreed, blushing still. “You said you trust him and Jules trusts him so... I guess I’ll trust him. But... I still feel this kind of worried for some reason.” “Well, you are meeting up with the Gator crew, so I don’t really blame you.” I said. “Yea...” “I haven’t really had a strong interaction with them but I did see Jessie interact with them. They seem kinda pushy but really jokey so all I say is just be safe and stay near Jessie.” I told him. He nodded. “Yea. Ok, yea.” He said. “And um... If you still feel uncomfortable or unsafe, just text me, ok? I’ll be open and we can just chat until your conferrable again.” I told him. He smiled. “Yea. Ok, sounds good.” He said. Then the bell suddenly rang. Nor him or I moved. We didn’t speak until the bell stopped ringing. “Fritz?” He asked me. I hummed in response. “I... I um...” He took a moment to speak. Then he corrected himself. “Thanks for talking with me. I really needed it.” He thanked me. “Yea. No problem.” I said, “Thanks for letting me vent.” “Of course.” He said, “Oh and... If you ever need to vent again or just chat, my dms are always open for you or I could stop by and talk to you. Ok?” “Ok.” I replied. People now flooded the halls and I looked back at Riley. “Sorry I took all lunch about my problem. Heh.” I laughed nervously. “It’s ok. Dont worry.” He replied, “I’ll um... I see you later.” He said, giving me a little wave before walking away. “Bye Riley!” I said back, beginning to walk the other way. We both split up and I made my way towards my class. I love that boy so much... I’m happy I got to talk to him. He’s an angel. I wish I could’ve told him that I was trans in the story I told him, but I was too scared. Maybe I’ll tell him a different time. Same with Jules. I walked into class and took my seat and pulled out my phone. Jules texted me. I checked it.