#GirlsShitToo

Shit Talk

Right after I posted my vlog, I kicked off my sharing challenge with my own narrative:

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Once clogged toilet @ the movies & it overflowed. Went back to the movie and came back out and they were trying to fix it! #ShittyNarratives

After that, the tweets started coming in fast. It was incredible. I couldn't believe that more and more people were sharing their shitty tales, and I had mobilized them.

Eva Q. @WhatEvaEva

Got explosive diarrhea on a camping trip. Luckily my BF got it too. We both designated opposite sides of campsite. #ShittyNarratives

Dar Dar Binks @Darla_Boswell

When I was little I was constipated and my mom had to use a spoon to get my poo out. #ShittyNarratives

Eric Fulton @Eric_Fulton

I shit this morning. #ShittyNarratives

Alex the Kettle @deathblackthrash6666

I shit every morning. #Shitty Narratives

Bada$$ Benny @BennnnnnnnnyB

I shit with my shirt off. #ShittyNarratives

Valerie Devant @VVDevant

B4 spring break I got diarrhea at school, and @DallasDelaney had to save me. Thnx Dal! #ShittyNarratives

Chad Anderson @ChadAnderson_CrystalShore

@VVDevant Babe, Y didn't u tell me? I knew you were lying when you said you were tired.

Chad Anderson @ChadAnderson_CrystalShore

@VVDevant It must have been those breakfast burritos we ate b4 school, cuz I went home too, lol. Had to drive myself though.

Then, Valerie even texted me.

Valerie

Sun, Mar 27, 10:35 PM

Valerie

Did u see? Me and Chad are being real people w/ each other. All thanx to you 💗😘😘😘

Dallas

Oh, I saw. Thanks for sharing your shitty narrative 💙💩💙

Valerie

Srsly, what have you done to me??? I'm supposed to shit rainbows and glisten!

Adree was back in English the next morning, and I felt weird. This was the first time I'd seen her, in person, since I decided I might have a crush on her. I asked, "Where's your shitty narrative?"

She held her chin high. "I'd rather not."

"Chicken."

"I'm not a chicken. I'm a swan. Which is why I won't share. Swans may poo, but in the eyes of the masses, they are beautiful creatures who only ever float around gracefully, and that's just fine."

The way she said "poo" made me laugh a little. "So what's your vlog going to be about? Why we shouldn't overshare?"

"No idea."

Later, she sent me a vid on Snapchat, with her in what appeared to be a closet. She whispered, "Okay, Dallas, if you really want my shitty narrative, here it is: during menstruation, the prostaglandins that make the uterus contract can also make the bowels contract. A Google fact that explains why my periods are so shitty. That's all I'm saying."

I watched it twice, and then I sent her a vid back, whispering, "I have always wondered why periods are so shitty..."

It really seemed like we were getting a lot closer. It was weird. So weird that I suddenly started wondering how I should act around her.

If I had ever acted "naturally," I suddenly forgot how.

Like on Wednesday when I was staring at her and then she caught me and so I turned, and then she said hi and I could see her saying hi but I had just pretended to stop looking and so I continued to pretend I didn't see her, so she just turned awkwardly, realizing she was waving to a girl who was pretending not to see her.

But I was glad to see her vlog on Wednesday night.