#GirlsShitToo

Pressure's On

That night, Roy made fajitas while Mom showered and I watched Jace in the living room and checked my Twitter. I had been tweeted more times than I could count about letting go of my femininity. I also had some pretty specific requests.

Herra @HerraTBriggs

@DallasDelaney plz shave your head! That would be so inspirational! #LGOYF

Vera No Feara @VeraAllTheWay

@DallasDelaney @HerraTBriggs Agree! Shaved my head recently and now ppl keep asking me if I'm going through an emotional crisis?

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

@VeraAllTheWay @HerraTBriggs Why does defying society's conceptions of gender roles have to be associated with something like that?

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

@VeraAllTheWay @HerraTBriggs I applaud you for shaving your head. But I won't be shaving mine. I like my long metal hair.

Bada$$ Benny @BennnnnnnnnyB

@DallasDelaney @VeraAllTheWay @HerraTBriggs Go full butch!

Topaz Empress @_novembersneverending

@DallasDelaney Try not wearing a bra! You'll discover the meaning of freedom, I promise #LGOYF

Andrea Peller @AP_fusionmodels

@DallasDelaney It's a good thing bushy eyebrows are trendy right now #LGOYF

Deb Pfister @Deb_southbeach_4

@DallasDelaney Bush is better, right?! (I'm not talking about eyebrows...) #LGOYF

Deb Pfister @Deb_southbeach_4

@DallasDelaney Besides, the only reason girls shave down there is because of porn's influence

Matt Hensley @Matthew_Hensley_1992

@DallasDelaney Start wearing boxers! Or better yet, freeball it! Or free-vulva it? #LGOYF

Adree Richards @AdreeSchmadree_dancer

@Matthew_Hensley_1992 Wow, that's...disturbing

Kai Kai @Kai_in_Hawaii

@DallasDelaney Use Axe or Oldspice or something! #LGOYF

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Already do! Why do men's products smell/work so much better?

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Glshgklshgklsgklsgjklsjgeiue

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Sorry, my little brother Jace hacked my phone. He has deep things to say.

Roy came inside while the flank steak was grilling and asked me if I really planned to let go of my femininity.

"You watched Adree's video?"

"If I don't watch her videos, it's like missing an episode in a show. You really have to watch both of you girls if you want to know what's going on."

"Well, I've received like twenty tweets in the last fifteen minutes alone telling me to take her challenge. So challenge accepted, I guess."

He smiled and went back out to get the steak, and then Mom came out and we prepped for dinner.

When we were sitting at the table, Roy said, "Are you gonna cut your hair?"

"I don't know," I said, thinking no. Never. No way. Did that make me feminine? Thinking I embodied anything feminine made me cringe...but then I checked myself, because was femininity really all that cringeworthy? Maybe I was being no better than Mom when she got mad at people for saying that Jace looked pretty.

"There are lots of women who rock little or no hair. Like Charlize Theron in Mad Max," Roy said.

"Definitely not ready to shave my head..."

"Well, you need to do what you want to do. Your appearance is just that: yours. To do with what you want. No matter what sorts of Internet challenges are going on. No matter what people think 'femininity' or 'masculinity' really are. They're always changing, anyway." Roy: always full of fatherly wisdom.

"So..." my mom interrupted us, "If we're all about letting people do what they want with their appearances, then what about that boob job?"

This could've been the point when the conversation would go where it usually did, where Roy would talk about 1) how he didn't really want Mom to get one (he didn't see anything wrong with her boobs, he knew from Google research that implants could make women sick, and besides, that was money that could be spent elsewhere; we weren't like Valerie's family when it came to wealth status), but also 2) how he didn't want to prevent her from doing something that she wanted. And she wanted to get one soon after Jace was done breastfeeding, so she would usually talk about that next.

But I decided to intervene before any of that could happen, saying, "Mom, did you see Adree's newest vlog?"

She shook her head "I saw Roy watching it; I wasn't paying as much attention as I pay to yours, though."

"Well, she said that women need to spend money on their appearances to give them confidence and help them function in society."

"See?" my mom said, looking at Roy. "I just need some confidence."

"How will a boob job give you confidence?" I asked.

Her look turned bitter, because she realized I wasn't on her side. "Look, it's just for me. It will make me feel better about myself."

"Why?"

"Because I would like to have nicer boobs, Dallas."

"Because society tells you that nice boobs are round and perky. See, it's not for yourself, it's for society! Your tastes have been totally informed by society, mom. If society liked boobs that were lopsided, you would probably want lopsided ones. You should be happy with yourself as you are because you are beautiful, Mom!"

Mom's expression looked like a confused half-smile-half-frown. I couldn't tell if I'd influenced her more than I'd annoyed her, though she did seem appreciative that I'd called her beautiful. Regardless, she'd given me some serious inspiration for my next vlog.