#GirlsShitToo

Valerie Shits, Too

Monday came the night after our short film debut. I saw Valerie in the hall, walking alongside Chad and Dennis (ew), and she said, "Dallas, 'Manstruation' was hilarious!"

"I admit, it was kinda funny," said Chad. "But I disagree that I would brag about my period. You know, if I had a period."

"I thought it was fucking stupid," said Dennis. "How are you the most famous person at our school right now? And all because you talk about shit, blood, and equal rights." His pronunciation of "equal rights" dripped with mockery and contempt. 

"Well, obviously, a lot of people want to hear about 'equal rights,'" Valerie told him, air-quoting and adding emphasis to "equal rights." He glared at her and she smared back, and after forty seconds of tension, she took Chad's hand and dragged him away, and Dennis glared at Chad.

"Bros over hos, dude!" he yelled down the hall, but Chad, thankfully, ignored him.

I was about to walk away from him when Adree walked past us, looking more radiant than ever, with freshly purple-tinted hair and a smile for everyone. I knew the reason why: I'd seen her Instagram post this morning, a picture of her with her hair parted at the side and slicked back into a ponytail, wearing a green velvet costume, with a medal attached to a ribbon around her neck, captioned: "Won a platinum for my modern solo!" She and I weren't friends on Instagram, but I still lurked her.

And I seemed to forget that for a moment, because I told her, "Congratulations, Adree." Shit. Now she would know I lurked her. She grabbed both of my hands and looked into my eyes and said, "Thank you, Dallas."

Dennis still stood right next to me, so he took the opportunity to stroke Adree's cheek, telling her, "Yeah, you looked real good in your picture this morning. I wouldn't mind getting between those dancer legs of yours again."

Frowning and blushing with what looked like embarrassment, she swiped his hand aside like it was a pesky fly, telling him, "Fuck off, Dennis," and walking away.

We both watched her strut down the hallway, and Dennis whispered in my ear, "You've got no chance, Delaney; she likes dick. That little act you just saw? She just likes being feisty for me."

I finally got up the nerve to respond to him. "I think it was pretty clear that she doesn't like you, Dennis. And I can't blame her. Out of all the dudebros at Crystal Shore, you're the most revolting."

"A lesbian thinks I'm revolting?" He feigned sadness, pretending to wipe tears from under his eyes. "How can I ever recover from that insult?"

My legs took me away before he could insult me anymore, and I wished I could affect him more. With their inflated senses of self-worth, guys like him were nearly untouchable.

In econ, my phone sat hidden on my lap under the desk, through which I lurked all of Adree's old Instagram photos and videos. Her most recent videos were super awesome: they showed her dancing. In one of the vids, she did these spinny things over and over again, like ten times. Totally impressive. Then Sharkbite told me I'd better stop before Harber came over and took my phone away. But before I stopped, I made the quick decision to follow Adree on Instagram. She already knew I lurked her, so why not?

Later, in English, I decided to ask Adree how she liked my vlog.

Her response was not what I had fished for. "I'm really surprised you collaborated with that Justine girl. I didn't think you had girl friends."

Before I could respond, Sharkbite started a standing ovation for Alex and Benny. "Hollywood gained two stars last night!" Alex and Benny both started bowing.