Captain Man x Reader | Henry Danger Reader Insert: SEASON 5

Episode 10: Knight & Danger (SMUT)

*smutlet wasn't planned but I had encouragement and then I was inspired and then this sinfest was born. Nothing extreme (lies), just a light sprinkling of filth to get us started. SKIP IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS, THE HOKEY POKEY, THE TERRIBLE TANGO, THE—you get the picture*

*oh, and this episode features Joker and The Queen by big Ed and Tay-Tay because this is the song for our sweet girl and her doofus and I think it fits the vibe*

~Junk-N-Stuff~

Novelty lamps? Check.
Assorted ping pong balls? Check.
Hula skirts in various sizes? Check.
Creepy clapping monkeys with cymbals? Check.
New shipment of fifty glow-in-the-dark lightbulbs? Ten, fifteen, twenty—wait... Ten, fifteen, twenty... Twenty?

"Doofus, I'm trying to do something here!" (y/n) whined as she tried to count what the store above her home did and didn't have, but her attempts were thwarted by someone trying their best to distract her.

It had been a late start to the morning and she had a lot to do because of said late start; the shop floor needed to be swept, the displays needed to be adjusted and fixed but most importantly, she needed to check her list of items in the storeroom around the back to see what they had plenty of and whether they needed to place an order.

But that was hard when a strong pair of hands were wandering from her waist to her tummy to her hips and...elsewhere.

"It's a fake store, sweetheart. You don't need to worry so much...I don't," Ray replied, kissing down his sweet girl's neck as her shaking hands wandered through the shelves. She was trying to keep counting, hoping to come up with a figure so she could finish up and give him the attention he was so desperately craving but her brain couldn't grasp any numbers right now, even though they were her speciality. He was too good at distracting her.

"Yeah, I know you don't, Raymond. But fake store or not, our customers are going to get suspicious when they come in to buy some junk and find that we have nothing to sell. So, that means I have to take stock, which is easier said than done when you've got hands...there," she scolded him, rolling her eyes when she felt his smirk grow against her skin and she knew that he'd never feel any shame for what he was doing, not when she showed that she loved it just as much as he did.

His fingers were playing with the button and zipper on her jeans, flicking the metal slider and circling his finger around the cold stud, taunting that he might or might not pop it open and slide it down.

"But baby, it's been so long since this morning—since I last had you..." Now, he was the one whining, a high-pitched lilt in the back of his throat that told her that he wanted something and wasn't going to stop until he got it or got pushed away. But his statement was ridiculous; after all, there was a reason why she'd started so late, much later than she normally would on a Saturday morning when the teens were due to come in for work.

"It was an hour ago! And I've been trying to catch up on work ever since, so go...do it yourself," (y/n) muttered, feeling her cheeks heat up at the thought but she didn't have time for "action", not the sort he was after anyway. Henry, Charlotte and Jasper would be in the store any minute and she'd melt into a puddle should they see or hear or sense something that didn't involve them.

Seriously, Henry's poop jokes would end and in the ashes would rise the endless teasing of how they did it in the back room. Nuh-uh, no way, Pedro, no thanks and goodnight. Besides, he'd loved her for years before they'd gotten together, so surely, one more round going solo wouldn't hurt.

"Hour's too long and anyway, I can't fuck my hand, sweet girl."

"And why's that?" She looked over her shoulder, inhaling sharply at how the air in the room had seemingly gone from frigid to suffocatingly hot in point five seconds.