Vårdslös ~ Bellamy Blake [2]

XII- Traveller of the stars.

I'm sorry, please don't kill me. My excuse for being such a bad author is in the author's note below. For now, I shall allow you to read this chapter that took me a month to write :).

Bold= Swedishhh.

T W E L V E | TRAVELLER OF THE STARS

The more Bellamy thought about it, the more he wondered what reaction he would prefer from his girlfriend; hysteria, including all the crying and screaming much like Raven, or the way she was acting- quiet and closed off.

He watched as she kept her gaze downward as she sat next to Raven on the wagon that carried Finn's body to Tondc. Her eyes were glazed over, completely unfocused to reality. He had prepared himself for her to bawl her eyes out, denying that Finn was really dead, he has readied himself for it all so he could comfort her, but what he didn't prepare himself for was the way she decided to act.

Not a word had slipped passed her pursed lips since Finn died and it worried Bellamy. With Raven, she showed how she was feeling externally, but Carter's was all internal. No one could see how she felt, no one would know if she was falling apart because her demeanour was calm if not slightly pained. It worried Bellamy too much. He wanted to help her, comfort her in any way he could, but she wouldn't even look at him, much less spark up a conversion.

If the former leader didn't respect Carter's need for space, he would be harassing her with questions about how she was feeling.

"How is she?" Clarke finally spoke from beside Bellamy. He turned his head slightly to look down at her before looking back forwards.

"She hadn't said a word." He muttered. "I don't know if I should talk to her or not."

"Give her space," The blonde replied after a long pause. "I can't imagine what she's going through, what they're both going through."

"You lost Finn, too." Bellamy pointed out, oblivious to the way Clarke cringed at the Spacewalker's name.

"Yeah, but I didn't know him like they did." Clarke sighed. "They grew up with him, and now... he's gone. I knew him for a little over a month."

Noticing her point, Bellamy fell silent. He guessed it would be like him losing Octavia, the pain of losing her would be overbearing, which only further confused him about Carter's reaction to the whole ordeal.

"Why... isn't she crying?" He suddenly asked the blonde beside him as they walked a few paces behind the wagon. "She cried when she thought her dad was on the Exodus ship and she cried when Charlotte died..." Judging by the surprised look on Clarke's face, Bellamy quickly remembered that no one knew about Carter's upset to Charlotte's death and his eyes widened a fraction. "Don't tell her I told you that."

A smallest and weakest of smiles flickered across Clarke's lips as she wondered about what the engineer would do to Bellamy if she found out what he had just said. But her light expression soon fell as she came to realize Bellamy's question. "Maybe she's ran out of tears."

***

"I want you to promise me you won't cry and you'll be happy, get married, have a child and call him Finn, I want to promise me that, Carter, promise you won't stop living your life just because I'm not in it any more, you hear?"

"I hear."

Carter took a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it; her best friend was dead and there was nothing she could do to save him.