You Pretend You're Gay... Why?(On Hold-Editing)

Chapter Eight

When I got to the Recreational Center, there weren't that many people around. There were mostly old, sweaty men using the cardio machines. I didn't pay attention to the horrid state of them-it wasn't something you would want to see at eleven in the morning. Trying to get the images of the old men out of my mind, I sat in the basketball court's cold metal bleachers.

What seemed like forever, Lawson finally came, dressed up in his basketball clothes. His usual casual clothing for Saturdays. He waved and grinned to me, coming over to sit by me on the bleachers.

"Why aren't you dressed up?" he said, looking over my outfit of plain dark jeans and a dark blue long sleeve shirt.

I inspected my outfit. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you can't play basketball in those clothes." He gave me this look like he was dissapointed in me that I didn't think of wearing workout clothes. "It's going to be hard for you to play, but no matter." Lawson laughed and held on my hand, pulling me up. "Let's get started now!"

"Lawson..." I started. Does this guy not know me? "I don't play basketball, remember?"

"I remember, but today is the day. C'mon! We'll just shoot some hoops to start off with." He winked at me, and passed me the basket ball that was in his hands. I stared at the orange ball, not sure what to do with it, exactly. Lawson laughed and said, "You're suppose to dribble it, you know. It should come naturally."

I glared at him and began reluctantly dribbling the ball. "You're so much better than me. It's not fair."

"Oh my dear Airlia," he sighed. "Nothing's fair in life." His tone was joking, but I could see from the way he stared at the ground that he meant what he said.

"Like how I have a F in Chinese." I said. His eyes widened at the news.

"You have a F?!"

I nodded. "Yeah. I bailed out of the speaking test last week for my dentist appointment, so she's not giving me the points for the whole chapter."

"Wow. All-star student has a F!" he sing-songed. I rolled my eyes. Then embarrsingly, my stomach growled. I clutched it, pissed off that I can't hold in my cravings.

Lawson heard it and grinned. "Maybe we should go get something to eat."

"Yeah, maybe," I replied sarcasticly. "Where to though?

He shrugged. "I have some money, but I don't want anything here. Howabout we go to Panini?" Panini was a cozy pizza plaza, a few blocks away from the Recreational Center.

I nodded. "Sounds good. I'm craving pizza anyway."

So we got our stuff and walked over to Panini. Once there, we both order a slice of pizza that had apples on it. It sounded gross, but it was actually really good. No one we knew was at Panini, which made me feel more at ease. Though I wasn't sure why I was nervous anyway.

"Mmh...."said Lawson as he took a large bit out of his pizza. "This is the shit."

I smiled and nodded. We stayed at Panini for a long time, just talking about various things. Being with Lawson made me happy. Happier than I have been in a long time. With Lawson, I could talk about things that I couldn't with Oliver, without worry that all he wants to do is make out. And I learned so much about Lawson. Before today, I didn't know he wanted to be a movie producer. He already planned to attend New York University's stunning film school, and hopefully start his own movie company. Of course, when he graduates and makes movies.

After staying and chit chatting, his mom picked us up to go to his house. She quickly drop us off; she had some meeting to attend to. Just three minutes being at his house, he made his way to the kitchen and declared, "I want something sweet. Let's make cupcakes!"

I laughed. "Cupcakes?"

He nodded, already bringing out bowls and the ingredients. Lawson set them down on the marble counter. I came up to him, helping him measure the ingredients.

"This is more fitting if only you were in here," he said, smirking as he stirred the mixture. It took me a while to get the joke.

"It would be more fitting if you sat on the couch with beer cans all over the place," I retorted back. He laughed.

"At least you'd be my wife," he said jokingly. But like earlier at the rec center, the tone of his detected a hidden meaning behind his remark. I blushed. Giving my hands something to do, I began mixing the cupcake batter. As I stepped back to start the oven, Lawson walked behind me the same time I did. We made contact, causing me to stumble oh so gracefully over his feet. To my luck, he caught me around the waist. He straightened me up, his hands lingering around my waist longer than necessary. Confused, I backed into the counter.

Lawson still kept his hands on my waist. He gazed into my eyes, his expression difficult to read, We were so close to each other, that I could count each of this thick eyelashes.Unconciously, I lifted up my hand to caress his cheek. I softly swept back a lock of his brown hair that I noticed he was growing out. He smiled, leaning down closer to me, like he was about to kiss me.

"Are you still with Oliver?" he whispered.

I hesitated, not sure how to reply. Figuring that it would better to say the truth then make a royal mess of everything, I nodded. Bad mistake. Lawson jumped quickly away from me like I had AIDS. I ducked my head, embarrassed. There was an awkward silence. I felt like saying we just made a gay baby, but it didn't seem like the right moment.

Nervously I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said to the floor. There was another moment of silence before he added, "You need to break up with him."

Surprised he would say something like that, I said, "Why?" But I already knew the reason. 

He looked like me like I just said I was secretly a guy. "Because it's not right to keep leading him on! And he's my cousin, for Christ's sake!"

"I know that," I said back to Lawson as I made my way towards him. "It's just... Complicated."

He gave a heartless laugh. "What do you mean complicated?" I could read the anger in his green eyes.

"It's just..." I tried to figure out how it was complicated. "How do I know you're not leading me on?" 

"Why would I do that?!" he demanded. "What makes you think that?"

"Well, you never gave me the time of day until I started dating Oliver." Now I was getting mad. "And you can't say that you didn't know you liked me, since it was pretty obvious. Even Carlos knew, and he just moved here from Mexico two months ago!"

Lawson ran his hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "I have many reasons why I didn't acknowledge you, but I can't really say." When he saw me step back from him, he added, "I mean, I have reasons, but they're..." He blushed. "Personal."

His change of tone startled me. It made me want to believe him, but I couldn't. "If you really cared about me, then you would say them. Right now."

"It's hard to explain..." I waited patiently for him to elaborate. He bit his lip, uncertain what to say. Then finally he said, "Look, it won't prove the fact that I love you." He tried to hold my hand, but I pulled away. "Please, Airlia. Believe me?"

I shook my head no. "If you can't even say why you love me, then I won't believe it." Fighting back tears, I ran out of his house.

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Fucking crappy chapter. The original was so much better. It was slower paced. Fuck Wattpad xD.

When I'm done with the whole story, I'll go back and edit all the crappy chapters.

Song is "Mirrors" by Natalia Kills. Found this song when I was listening to "Go-Go Dancer" by Kaci Battaliga, who was last chapter's. I've been finding some really good songs lately(:

Oh, and I put up a picture of Lawson in the side link. But I'm not sure if it's working? It's from weheartit.com.Ugh, life sucks haha.

I'm not sure when next upload is. Like my Author's Note stated, it's difficult for me to do. But don't lose hope in this!