Incomplete love

Memories

'Appa, which one is your favorite story?' her dark eyes were glowing in the mellow light of the sandstone lamp. A child of her age should be exhausted from the amount of sobbing she had done. But here she was, wide awake, vigilant. To keep an eye on her father.

'Hmm, I have so many.' He fixed her hair to distract her, running her hand through her mane. She made him uncomfortable whenever this mature, all-grown-up side resurfaced. The little child had endured enough bad things to last a lifetime. It only made him feel like he was failing her as a parent. Especially with Taehyung missing. There was nobody to remind him that his guilt was futile. No, he was sure, he was failing both Taehyung and Miso.

'No just the ONE!' she raised one finger to make a point, and to his absolute surprise, the finger poked at his forehead melting the frown he held from the overthinking and anxiety. She is her Pa's daughter indeed. 

'Uhh, I have one. But will you promise to sleep after?' I suggested, tucking the little strand of hair behind her ear while running a hand along her head. She nodded, laying her head against his chest. Jin tightened his hold on her, stroking her soft hair, protectively. He would never forget the day she came to meet him after Taehyung's death. It was upsetting, the look of pure fear in her eyes had hurt more than the feeling of loss. Hyung and Ahreum had told him this when he woke up: she refused to sleep for the entire five days he was unconscious, barely ate anything, and hid in one of the closet's darkest corners while nobody told her what had happened to her parents. Especially her Pa. She had grown silent,  much more silent after I told her what had happened. I could see the trauma in her eyes, of losing her Pa and then seeing him in the most vulnerable state. It was too much for a child, and till today, he couldn't figure out what she had gone through. All he knew was she had witnessed him at his worst, and no child should see that. On some nights when he was haunted by the physical pain, making him scream for help, making his loss much more evident, she would be the first one to run by his side. And cry with him, for she couldn't help him like her Pa. But she would stay, endure it, bite and fight anyone that tried to move her from the spot. She had developed the tenacity to be with her Appa. He was so swallowed by the pain of losing Taehyung, that Miso's pain just sucked the life out of him, refusing to heal. That was until one night when he woke up to her bloody screams. Feeling helpless in the bed, he crawled up to her bedside and to his horror, saw her hitting herself in her sleep. He was terrified, of what had she been through to become like this. The doctors diagnosed her nightmares as a fear of abandonment, she didn't want to be left alone again, orphaned once again by the only people she had grown to love, her parents. He grits his teeth that day and made a promise, to be her Appa. He would do everything henceforth to live for her, for she was Kim Miso now, their child. He and Taehyung had planned to give her a good life, together.  

'Promise' she yawned. He began to rock the chair back and forth, recalling one of the good memory.

'Carnations, pink ones. Can we make bouquets-'

'JIN!' Taehyung's growl carried through the open lounge door. But he was down the corridor. Jimin and Ms. Kang, the event planner exchanged a disturbed look. Jin closed the dossier quickly and handed it to a flustered Jimin. 

'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!' he roared again at the door. His hair was out of place and had run out in pajamas. Jin noticed his bare feet and dark circles. The mellow sunlight through white curtains reflected off his smooth creamy skin. His sharp features made his scowl seem scarier.

'Ms. Kang, can you give us a moment?' Jin offered her an apologetic smile. Nervous about the way his fiance was glaring at him. Jimin elbowed the older lady, scrambling out of the room with all the planners in their hands. 

'Tae-'

'Have you lost your mind, Jin?!' he waved the yellow folder in the air. His eyes had confusion in them, waiting for a rational explanation.  'Why would you agree to this?! Without discussing with me first?!'