Here, Under the Stars

CHAPTER 19

-- ASHI --

Kanina pa kami nagiiyakan ni Magui. Magang-maga na ang mga mata namin so we decided to take a rest. Magui is sitting down sa harapan ni mommy habang nakahiga naman ako sa kaniya. Pinaglalaruan niya lang yung buhok ko habang tinitignan si mommy.

"Adi?" I called for her.

"Hmm?"

"Would you forgive me?" I started to tear again. "Mapapatawad mo pa ba ako kahit na ako ang dahilan kung bakit nawala ang Solace sa'yo?"

"I already have, adi." She told me.

I sat down properly and laid my head on her shoulders. She laid hers on mine.

"Ang sarap takasan ng mundo, 'no?" Sabi ko sa kaniya. "No problems, no responsibilities. Just you and me."

"I'd love that too," Magui whispered. "But we can't."

Magui already told me everything. The whole truth felt like a giant stab in my heart. I can't stop thinking about a lot of things.

I can't stop thinking about stealing her friends from her. I mean, we all are friends but they all chose to abandon Magui for me. They all stayed for me and no one was left with her. It didn't only happen after the breakup but before as well. Sa tuwing may misunderstanding kami ni Magui, ako lang ang kinakamusta nila.

Now I know why she needed company.

I can't stop thinking about how I chose to hide the truth from her instead of confronting her. How I broke her heart during our 4th anniversary and left. If only I listened to her. If only I let her explain, then maybe, I would feel more enlightened. I wouldn't break up with her.

Now I know why they wanted me to listen to her.

I can't stop thinking about Solace. I was so mad that I wanted to get justice for myself. It was an unfair fight. I attacked her only source of strength. I took away her vulnerability. Now she has nothing else but us. She has nothing left.

Now I know why she almost killed herself.

"Magui?" I called for her again. "Why did you ghosted us?"

"I didn't ghost you guys."

"Then why did you leave without a word? I know we were mad. I know that we pushed you away pero bakit hindi mo na kami naantay? We looked for you, adi. We looked for you to the point na hindi na namin alam kung saan ka hahanapin."

"I never stopped chasing you, guys. I really wanted to explain myself but Malia and I had a big fight. She was so mad at me that she can't stop hurting me. She told me how you all were hurting. She told me that it would be best if I don't show myself to you anymore. She told me to leave and never return."

"Pero ang sabi ni Malia pinili mong umalis? She told me that you never wanted to see us again. That you wanted to forget us and be with that girl instead."

I saw how confused she was. Clearly, Malia lied!

"She was just protecting you, Ash. She didn't want you to get hurt anymore. That time, hindi pa naman niya alam yung totoo eh."

"Kahit na! That doesn't give her the right to push you away. Hindi ka sana umalis."

-- FLASHBACK - MAGUI --

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Malia went out of Ashi's house.

"Malia please, I just want to explain myself," I begged her.