Only Gay For You. (Book one of the Midnight In Rome series)

Part 13

Nico 

I am not entirely sure why I started the kiss but I know it was near impossible to break it, as it got deeper and deeper our fingers tangled in each other hair until oxygen became needed more than the taste of each other, and by the time we finally parted we were both panting.

"Okay, yeah, I think I'm gay," Aspen says wide-eyed and breathless, He gets a devilish grin on his face. 

"Still want that happy ending?" he asks.

I don't think I am entirely in control of my own brain right now, I think all the blood got distracted to somewhere else, I nod before I even register what I am agreeing to.

He smiles and starts kissing down my torso, his hand moving to my balls, cupping them and gently squeezing. Despite myself, I let out a moan and put my hand on his head, encouraging him to get to his target faster.

I feel him smile against me as he maintains his slow pace kissing all the way down my stomach and then my thighs before finally kissing my tip, I throb onto him and can't hold in a groan.

He flicks his tongue out, circling it around the tip first, then slowly runs it down and back up my shaft. As he reaches the top he smiles, pulling my foreskin back and sucks my head in with a pop and I groan with pleasure.

he slowly slides taking more of me into his mouth, my fingers tangle in his hair, 

"fuck this feels so good"

He keeps going taking more and more of me in. No woman has gone this far without gagging but it doesn't seem to phase him at all. His tongue is moving back and forth, massaging me as he quickly approaches my base.

he groans around me bobbing up and down quicker now, my hand tightens in his hair instinctively.

How is he so good at this? I find it hard to believe he's never been with a guy before but I really don't care, this feels so amazing.

he gets really into what he is doing suddenly as he swirls his tongue and bobs up and down faster, why is this the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life?

I feel my balls tightening and hear muffled "mmmm's" coming from Aspen as I start to leak precum

"holy fuck" I gasp laying my head back and closing my eyes getting lost in the sensation for a second.

Aspen starts to slide a finger into my ass, probing for my Prostate and I feel like I'm about to explode! Suddenly a voice shouts in my mind "But I'm not gay!"Before I know what I'm doing, I've pushed him off of me and I'm running into my bathroom, a look of shock on both of our faces.

Aspen looks at me tears forming in his eyes as I close the bathroom door, I begin to hyperventilate for a second, I just almost blew my load down Aspen's throat, he felt so good, so fucking good, I sit down on the edge of the bathtub feeling light-headed, I put my hands on my knees taking as deeper breaths as my sore lungs will let me, my balls were still a little tingly and while I wasn't raging hard anymore I was still semi as my body fought me to go back to the sensations that had me so close.

I hear the slam of a door from the bathroom and rush out to find my bedroom empty. Oh god, what have I done? I see Aspen running for his house, wiping his cheeks as I assume tears stream from his eyes and my heart breaks.

before I realise I am pulling my hand from the wall in my bedroom where my fist just went through it, I barely register the pain, I want to run after him, everything in me wants nothing more than to chase him and explain, but what the hell would I say?

Christ, how did teasing the shy cute boy next door turn into this? And why am I still thinking about how good that BJ was? Fuck my cocks getting hard again, what the hell?

"I'm not gay," I say out loud though I am not sure why I felt the need to say it out loud in my bedroom, I'm not sure what to do, I reach for my phone sending a quick text to Aspen, 'i am so sorry, please come back so we can talk' I regret the text as soon as I send it but I don't have a clue what to say or do right now.

I wait and wait but he doesn't reply, the message is left unread. I don't want to go over, as I don't want to make things worse, so I lay awake on my bed, wondering if I've just ruined a perfectly good friendship.

I'm not gay, I think over and over again though I am not sure why I keep needing to tell myself that, I'm not gay but that blowjob was amazing, and that kiss, I have never felt a kiss like that in my whole life, and I am not self-conscious in any way but I have never been so comfortable around someone before in my life either.

I begin to wonder if it's possible to be into another guy without actually being gay or even bi.

no, you can't just have the hots for one guy, surely, even if that guy is Aspen who so far I can not pick out a single thing I don't like about him, and damn does he get my cock hard every single time I am around him like no one I have ever known before, but if I like him why did my brain tell me no?.

Shit I wish I'd let him finish me, my cock is now painfully hard but I dare not jerk it, for fear his face will keep appearing in my mind.

oh, fuck what if I just put him off men as amber put him off, women? I don't think I can live with myself if I did that, hell I don't know if I can live with myself for hurting him. the tears in his eyes keep flashing over in my mind, why did I slam that door?

Shit, I can't just lay here knowing Aspen is upset because of me, I need to explain to him. I go to mums study and grab the emergency key Mary left with her before heading over. I knock on the door and try the bell but after 5 minutes I decide to use the key and let myself in.

"Aspen, Aspen? Aspen where are you?" I ask frantically rushing through the dark house, I'm halfway up the stairs when I start to hear the crying, which makes me increase my pace, quickly reaching his room and opening the door. 

"Aspen?" I ask rushing to his dark bedroom.

Aspen is laid on his bed in the dark, the sounds of sobs coming from his gently shaking body, 

"oh Aspen," I say looking at him, my heart breaking knowing I had done this.

I quickly move to his side, wrapping him in my arms.

"I'm so sorry I freaked out Asp, I've never been with another guy before and I don't think I'm even gay."

"just get out" he spits between sobs.

I hug him tighter.

"No. I care about you Asp and I'm sorry I hurt you, I really didn't mean to, my body just reacted and I couldn't stop it."

"you could have" he sobs pushing me away.

"you could have said no, or stop or I'm not interested," he says his sobs getting louder.

"No, I couldn't, because I was so confused by how amazing it felt."

"so it's my fault? poor Nico helps the geek realise he's gay and then suddenly he's giving me a blowjob and it's confusing because it feels so good? just get out Nico" he says now angry and also sobbing.