Mistakenly Human (Poetry)

You Watched Me Drown

And you watched.

While I choked on my words.

You watched.

As I held in every tear.

You watched.

When I swallowed the lump in my throat.

You watched..

You stared me down,

As you saw me drown.

With every breath I intake,

While I'm struggling for a break.

Sinking back down,

You watched me as I drowned.

You watched me,

As my eyes were at sea.

My mind stirring crazy,

My breath becoming hazy.

And you sat back,

And read aloud the things I lack.

I kept quiet,

I stayed so silent.

As the waves washed me over,

I couldn't speak anymore.

My teeth indenting my lip,

Holding a painful grip.

My fists clenched to my sides,

This was the first time you've seen me cry.

I can't seem to shake this,

The quiet, the silence.

With my lip bite,

I'm trying to fight,

Choking down

All the sound.

The voice in my throat,

The poems I wrote,

The questions I have,

The arguments I keep

My voice in far too deep.

And you've watched me a thousand times,

You've seen the self inflicted crimes.

With the words that can not spill,

They create scenes in my mind that fill.

All of the anger,

That's keeping me in danger.

Any second now I'm surely to collapse.

My mind replaying in a lapse,

The words I can not speak,

Make me feel numb and weak.

Tired of holding myself down,

I look around,

Everyone breathing,

And the burden I keep,

Holds me to the ground,

My voice lost in the sound,

Of my own breaths that I drown.

And you've seen it all,

You watched me fall.

I want to say something,

I don't want to be lost in nothing,

This lump in my throat,

Can't you hear my yelps?

My begging for help?

I'll wake up in a scream,

Many would think it's just a dream,

But we both know its just a daily routine.

You looked me in the eyes,

When I said I was fine.

But we both know that was a lie.