Rogue and Gambit's "date" was awkward at first, and that was Rogue's fault.
Gambit tried to act nonchalant, as he usually did, but that just seemed to annoy her more.
They ended up doing the standard dinner at a restaurant thing.
"Why are you so tense?" Gambit finally asked.
"I got pushed into this," Rogue grumbled.
"Well, if you didn't wanna, jus' say so." Gambit was offended now.
Rogue leaned on one hand. "It's...not that, exactly."
"Den what is it?" Gambit said.
"Y'know...it's just...it's...I dunno," Rogue hedged. "It's like I just don't know how all this works anymore. What am I supposed to do?"
"Nothin'," Gambit said.
"That don't help," Rogue said flatly. "Y'see? I'm no good at this."
"Well, we could try talkin' about somethin'," Gambit suggested drolly.
"Like what?"
"Anything other dan what we talking 'bout now."
Rogue frowned. "That's not funny."
"Gambit serious," Gambit said. "Keep on 'bout how it's strange. Dat all we focus on. How dat help? Gambit jus' want to spend time with you." Slyly.
Rogue frowned. "Ya ever get tired of sayin' things like that?"
"Nope."
Rogue sighed. "Well...I'm supposed to be celebratin' makin' progress... I dunno...it don't feel like that much progress."
"Small step." Gambit shrugged.
"Yeah...small." Rogue fiddled with her silverware. "I should be happy about it. I guess I wonder if I can keep it up. Shine's excited about it, I can tell, but she could be wrong... Maybe this is all..."
She kind of felt sick thinking about it. "I don't like thinkin' about it."
"Den don't," Gambit suggested.
Rogue thought this was a typical male response.
[But it's not wrong. It's just simple. I've been annoyed many times by people giving me an answer like that, but it's basically the right advice...it's just that it feels dismissive and like you're not really being heard out. Having anxiety makes you obsess over details so much that if others don't do it also, you think they don't care. In fact, they may just know that you'd feel better if you stopped obsessing over it. So if you are the kind of person who gives advice like that, you might want to think about phrasing it like this, "I know you have a lot on your mind, and it's hard to deal with, but I think you owe it to yourself to just stop worrying about it for a short time and try to enjoy the moment." If this doesn't work, they probably don't really want help, FYI. Or they think you're manipulating them...
In general, I think men just need to use more words to explain simple advice, and women need to be able to summarize what they are saying into just one paragraph or less of advice, instead of a whole dialogue of it, if you're talking to someone who prefers simplicity. We all have room to improve.
But if you have anxiety, try to cut people who simplify it some slack. They may be right, they just don't know how to say it in a way that makes sense and makes you feel understood, and having an honest talk about that can go far, as I learned myself.]
She made a frustrated sound.
Gambit was getting frustrated also because he thought Rogue was determined to put a damper on this, and it wasn't even a big deal. Just dinner. She always had to act like everything was so momentous.
