Finding my way to you.

Chapter 31

Lewis woke up to a jumpy bed with two kids jumping up and down their bed, calling his name in excitement, he smiled and wondered how they mastered such energy early in the morning while he had passed through the worst few four hours. He did trust Zeb but Cavril's look made him uncomfortable, he thought to himself if that is what Zeb had to go through whenever she saw Olivia, it made him feel guilty to react considering he made her go through the same thing. "Good morning handsome", she said from the door where she was standing with a tray of food. "Breakfast in bed, I could get used to this", he said while sitting straight and pulling the twins down to sit beside him, they happily complied. Zeb placed the tray on the bed and took a picture of them, she knew he would ask for it. He watched her set things up for them and started enjoying the food. He could feel her eyes on him but pretended to focus on the kids, he didn't want her to see the look he had. After breakfast, Zeb took the kids to the kitchen giving him time to freshen up, the situation with Cavril was still bothering him and he knew that he had to talk to Zeb to feel good about it. He was so deep in thought that he did not hear her enter the bathroom that he felt soft hands hugging him from behind. "What troubles you? I saw how you were avoiding my eyes during breakfast", she whispered to him then kissed his back, the act made him shiver, distracting him, he knew she was trying to make him comfortable so that he could open up. "My love, if being friends with Cavril is making you uncomfortable I will stop, I don't want you to be like this", she pleaded, making him take a breath and turn to face her. Her beautiful eyes were full of worry making him smile and hold her face between his hands. "Do you want to be friends with him?", he asked and she nod her head. "Ok then, I will try my best to behave, but he just has to stop looking at you like some piece of meat", he said making her laugh. The only way that was going to work is if he decided to take a leap of faith and trust Zeb.

After Zeb dropped him at the airport, he was sitting in the staff lounge waiting for his crew, he lied to Zeb about the departure time because he wanted time to himself to think. "Hey man, you good?" Brian asked. Jonathan had advised him to always be open to Zeb because that was the only way he and Jenny managed to stay happy. But then Brian on the other hand didn't make it easier on him by pointing out how other men must be seeing Zeb, a happy, confident and independent woman, making her the center of attention and now with Cavril in the picture that was a whole new ball game, he had more money than him, he was sure that he could own an airline if he wanted to, the fact that his family adored Zeb was like giving her a free ticket to his heart. The thought terrified him and he needed to talk to his Mother otherwise he knew things would get complicated. "Am not ok, she went with him to a family gathering and she had the nerves to say she wanted to be friends with him, it's like she is tempting me to say no so that we can start fighting, I just need a break", Brian looked at him like he had grown to heads and what Lewis didn't understand was how could other people not see the struggle he was going through. Somewhere in between all the mess he knew, for his insecurities to end he needed to face his fear of commitment, to judge Zeb he needed to look past it.

"Hey Mum, how are you?", he greeted his Mother when he went to visit her coming straight from the airport. "Am ok Baby, what's wrong, you look exhausted", she replied while inspecting him, it reminded him of when he was young and he had hurt himself, and it made him smile. "I have a lot on my mind that's all", the way she looked at him, it was clear that she saw he was troubled. She moved away from her laptop and offered her hand to him, pulling him to the living room they sat on a love coach her eyes not leaving his. "Talk to me Baby, Are Zeb and the kids ok? Did you guys fight?", "No Mum, they are ok, everything is ok, I just ... am scared Mum", he said in a whisper making his Mother more worried. "Am scared that I will mess things up just...just like Dad did to you, I have seen Zeb in pain and that is something I don't want to see again", he said with his head down, when the silence was unbearable he turned and saw that his Mother's eyes were focused on the hallway, he turned and saw his Father looking at them with guilt. "Son, am very sorry, it's all my fault-", "Zander, don't say that come on", his Mother pleaded but it was like he didn't hear her as he continued, "I was a fool and ran away from our problems but I promise you, I never stopped loving your Mother", he said and walked to sit in front of them, his eyes still on Lewis. "I was stressed with work and your Mother needed me to be a Father to you guys, it overwhelmed me, I felt suffocated and I couldn't say no to her so I chose to find someone else", he swallowed hard, it was clear that it hurt him to speak of it but knew that he had to. "The truth is, it was not the same, I kept wanting her to be your mother but how could she when she didn't even know me, I called it off the day you saw us across the street. I made a vow to myself that I will do whatever it takes to be what your Mother wanted me to be and since then, I have never broken her trust, ever, I love her and she is all I care about, even you guys come second to my Nicole". They were interrupted by a sniff and when they looked at his Mother, she was full on sobbing causing his Father to gather her in a bear hug, kissing her forehead repeatedly. "I love you, Zander, so much", "I love you more Gorgeous". The way they held on to each other made him believe in his Father's words, he was always a straightforward man, having few words. But what just happened was something that had never happened before, they both had things to say just never found the right time. He was brought back to reality when he was pulled into the hug by his Father making them laugh in the process. "I swear this was a lot easier when you were little, now I feel like am being squashed by two mountains", which was true, she was tiny like Zeb. The woman he was ready to share the rest of his life with, the woman he wanted to marry. He just needed a moment with Zubair.