Peace - jaylor story (peace book 1)

the first kick

-taylors pov- 

He opens it and we both look at it at the same time before turning to one another with tears in our eyes "we are having a girl" we say together and burst out crying. Joe leans over and plaster kisses all over my face before laying his hands on my stomach. "hi in there you beautiful baby girl, we love you so much" he says and lift up my shirt slightly to kiss my stomach which makes me cry harder. 

Looking up at me he has a concerned look on his face, but I smile and shake my head "these are happy tears I promise. I'm really happy. We are having a baby girl joe; we are really having a baby" I say and cup his face bringing it up to mine and kissing him with full force. 

For the first time I let myself really feel the happiness about this. It's incredible to think about how loved this child is already, I've never thought it was possible to feel this way. In around 22 weeks' time I'm going to be giving birth to our baby girl. The baby that's part joe and part me. 

We get home and we both still have red eyes from all the crying we did in the car. This is getting real now, we are actually having a child in September. I'm becoming a mother, a responsible parent for a tiny human that will need me for so many things in their lives. In September she will get laid on my chest and I will get to look at her for the first time and hold her close as we do skin to skin. In September a new chapter in my life is starting, I'm becoming a mother, and what makes it even better is the fact that I'm going to be a coparent with the love of my life. 

The only thing that is putting a dark cloud over the pink skies is the fact that I'm not going to be able to be a normal mom. The craziness that is my job is going to make doing normal things harder. If I take her to the mall there will be cameras. If I want to show her the world it will be plastered in every magazine. There will always be a chance that someone will break into our house and hurt her, she will never know what it's like to be completely safe. She won't get to experience what it's like to be anonymous in the world either. If she makes a mistake, it will be a headline just like it is with me. 

"Taylor, what are you worried about? I can see it all over your face. Please talk to me" joe says and take my hand leading me over to the couch. 

"i'm in a mix of emotions. I'm truly happy that we are going to be a family of three, well six if you count the cats, and I can't believe I get to do this with you. I'm honestly truly happy with that. But i'm terrified when it comes to the danger my job will put her in. And I won't get to do normal things with her without risking it being plastered all over the tabloids across the world. She will never know what it's like to not be the daughter of a A-list celebrity that has a really public job. If she makes mistakes, it will be headlines, she will never get the childhood you and I had" I say and dry a few tears that are both happy and sad at the same time. 

"i'm relieved to hear you're finally getting to a place where you can be truly happy about this, honestly, I've been worried. But I didn't know that it was stuff like that which were making it hard for you. I want you to talk to me about these things love and we can figure out a plan together. We will do everything we can to protect our daughter, we will do everything we can to give her as normal of a childhood as we can. It won't be easy, and its true her life won't be like ours was, but that doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful childhood. We will just have to figure out how to balance it all, how to give her a sense of normalcy even though we also have to protect her from the media. It's not going to be a walk in the park, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it" he says and take my hands kissing my knuckles. 

He is right though. I know we would walk to the ends of the earth for her, I knew that from the second I heard her heartbeat the first time. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, absolutely nothing, just the same way there is nothing I wouldn't do for Joe.