The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Twenty-Nine

ERIN

I dropped my head back against the ground and let out a content sigh, not caring at all about the sand I knew was getting in my hair and stared up at the stars. All I could hear was the sound of the ocean as it pulled back from the shore and Jasper's steady breathing next to me. It felt peaceful. I rolled my head to the side and smiled over at him.

"You sure know how to show a girl a good time."

Jasper rolled over onto his stomach, digging his elbows into the sand and grinned down at me. "Who's to say it's over yet?"

I cocked an eyebrow up at him, trying to remain cool, but on the inside my anxiousness was fighting to get out. Jasper looked down at me and studied my face while I stared back up at his. I didn't blush or turn away; I felt comfortable with his eyes on me, beautiful even.

He lifted one of his hands and brushed away a lock of my hair leaving my skin scorched from the gentle glide of his fingertip. My heartbeat pulsed under my skin and my nerves began rooting down deep inside me. Maybe I wasn't that experienced, but Jasper was making me feel like a practical novice. I wasn't sure if I should grab him or wait for him to make the first move. I began doubting everything and my head started to fill with questions.

Jerking myself up, I got up off the ground. I needed some distance. Jasper was making me nervous, but I was more disappointed in myself than anything. I let my fear get the better of me and I bolted. Keeping my back to him, I stared out at the ocean as the panicked whispers rang out in my head. This was a bad idea. I didn't even know Jasper. What was I doing?

I concentrated on the waves, letting the sound of them block out the insecurities that riddled me. I watched as they broke against the shore and then got tugged back out to sea, only to do it all over again. I remember once during my junior year I caught Lexi sneaking into the house late one evening drenched to the bone and shivering. She told me that she and some of her friends had gone skinny dipping out in the ocean and I remember thinking that she was nuts. I began lecturing her on how unsafe that was and how she could've been arrested. The whole time she wore this exhilarated grin on her face, nodding her head but not listening to a word that I said. I stared down at the dark water and the waves curling as if they were beckoning me in.

I couldn't be a coward about everything tonight.

My body was moving before my mind even caught up to it. Digging my toes into the sand, I gulped in the ocean breeze and pulled my tank top over my head, dropping it to the side. I didn't stop to think. Continuing down towards the shore, I began to unbutton my shorts as I heard Jasper shout out behind me.

"Erin, what- What are you doing?"

I looked back over my shoulder at him, for a second there I'd forgotten that he was with me. The corner of my mouth twitched when I took in his surprise. I managed to do it again.

"It's a night of firsts remember?" I called out to him, competing with the wind. Jasper slowly nodded his head and I turned away from him, staring back at the turbulent water. My stomach tightened with hesitation. "I've never swam in the ocean at night and I've always wanted to," I admitted.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my shorts and shimmied them down over my hips, relieved that my blue boy short panties were neither too revealing nor too frumpy. I hadn't really planned on showing anyone my underwear when I put them on this afternoon.

Peeking back over my shoulder at Jasper, I watched his eyes go wide as his gaze dropped down over my butt with appreciation. It took half a second before he snapped out of it and pushed himself up off the ground. "Well, you're not going out there all alone."

In one movement he was ripping off his shirt and throwing it onto the sand. I turned back towards the water, blushing this time as I kicked my shorts to the side and waited for him to catch up to me. Goosebumps danced over my skin from both the breezy night and the anticipation flowing through me.

Suddenly Jasper was next to me. He started unbuckling his shorts and it took everything I had in me not to watch him. "You ready for this?" he asked, chucking his shorts to the side. I stared out at the churning sea momentarily terrified but I still nodded. Jasper's fingers curled around mine and he tugged me closer to him. "This is going to be fun."

"It's probably freezing."

I could feel it, the doubt, the uncertainty, the need for control. They were all circling around me and trying to talk me out of it. This is when I usually caved, when I usually ran.

"Uh-uh," Jasper laughed. "It probably is, but you're not backing out now Erin. You wanted to do this and we're doing it."

"I don't think I can," I admitted, staring out at the waves with all the trepidation I felt.

Jasper leaned in closer to me and I teared my eyes from the water, lifting my gaze up to him. "You're a runner right?" I scrunched up my face, not seeing what that had to do with anything but he didn't let that deter him. "How about we make it a race then? The first one to the water wins." I rolled my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jasper teased. "Afraid I'll beat you?"

"Are you serious?"

His mouth lazily spread into a warm smile and he answered in his slow Southern drawl. "One thing you should know about me Erin, is that I'm competitive. I won't go easy on you."

"You don't need to go easy on me," I countered. "The one thing you should know about me Jasper is that I'm fast." My own competitive instinct was kicking in and overtaking my fear of the inky water. "I can keep up with the best of them," I boasted.

Jasper let his eyes wander down my body before looking up at me with a wink. "I bet you can."

I'd almost forgotten that I was standing there in front of him semi-nude on a public beach. What was I doing? I looked around nervously, checking to see that we were still alone.

"You ready?" Jasper asked, pulling my attention back to him. "One."

I turned my body towards the water staring out into the unknown, petrified to take the plunge.

"Two."

I took in a ragged breath, trying to calm both my adrenaline and my nerves.

"Three."

Without thinking I took off, trained to run just at the sound of that word after years of racing. The wind hit me and the breeze sent chills up my body as I sprinted through the sand and headed for the shore. Jasper kept time with me, lumbering across the sand with his long stride and kicking it up behind him. I took in a deep breath and pushed myself forward, fighting against the burn and succumbing to my need to win.

As soon as the water began lapping at my ankles my whole body became alert from the shock of it. Ignoring the cold, I kept going, feeling Jasper right behind me and the water as it rose around me. It was now or never.

I lifted my arms, sucked in a deep breath, and dove down beneath a wave. It felt as if my entire system skipped a beat as the waves churned around me and the cold seeped through my skin and settled deep into my bones. I was numb in an instant. Kicking my way up to the surface, I broke through, gasping in disbelief.

I had done it!

Twisting around, I looked for Jasper just as he shot up through the water next to me and let out a holler. I threw my head back and laughed with him, and he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. My legs naturally linked around his waist and I let him hold me there as we bobbed up and down in the current.

"You are fast," he whispered in my ear.

For the first time I felt like I had been running to something, not from it. I locked my arms around Jasper's neck and rested my head against his shoulder. I felt free and I knew how much Jasper had to do with that. It was stupid of me to think I'd be able to handle missing that feeling when it was gone.