The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Nineteen

MARY

I sat in my car staring over at the building and for about the billionth time tried to get the courage to go in. I had tried to get out of it, I really did, but after last night Erin was in no condition to take my place, and Lexi... Well, this wasn't something I felt like she should have to do. She was still only nineteen. She shouldn't have to be dealing with any of this, so I came on my own.

Ian dropped Erin and me off at the house last night and helped me get her inside, despite me assuring him that I could handle it on my own. He wasn't taking no for an answer and easily lifted Erin out of the car and walked her in the house. Once we got inside, he laid her down on the sofa and I got a blanket from the basket by her feet. I tucked it around Erin's body and could feel Ian watching me while I did. I let my hair fall down over my face to cover the blush that I'm sure was now plainly visible. I shouldn't have been blushing.

"She's going to have one helluva a hangover tomorrow," he commented with a sympathetic shake of his head and crooked smile.

I looked down at Erin, scowling in her sleep, and nodded my head. "I honestly don't know what got into her. Lexi's usually the only one who gives me a hard time."

"You know sometimes I forget that you actually raised them."

I turned around and faced him and he was looking at me in what can only be described as awe. This time I didn't bother to hide my blush, but not because I was embarrassed that Ian knew all about my family issues. It was the way he said it. Like it was an accomplishment.

I uncomfortably thanked him for his help again. I knew he probably needed to leave; girls like Margot probably awaited him. I crossed my arms over my chest, disturbed by my irrational jealousy. I had no right to have an opinion on his life; I just wished someone would inform my emotions of that.

I wasn't  a total idiot when it came to men. I knew I was attracted to Ian; my eyes skimmed his over dark hair and strong jaw. How could you not be? But I knew someone like him was way out of my league. He was experienced. He was dangerous. He was everything I didn't need to complicate my life with right now.

I forced my eyes up to his, getting sucked in by the absolute rugged handsomeness of his face. The alcohol was still flowing through me and I swayed a little reaching out but nothing was there to support me. Ian's arm darted out and grabbed onto my elbow and I tumbled into his chest. It was strong, and solid, and I could only imagine what it looked like underneath that black shirt of his. I closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks warm while I attempted to shake the image from my head.

"What about you?" he asked, and I could hear the smile in his voice even though I wasn't looking at him. My head had somehow managed to land against at the base of his throat and I had no plans on moving it. "Are you going to be okay?"

I knew that he was talking about the current state that I was in, but for some reason I thought about Matt, and my next step, and my confusing feelings for Ian. Shaking my head I looked up at him and answered honestly. "I don't know."

He wrapped one of his arms around me and walked me over to the love seat. Erin was still passed out on the couch next to us but I knew she was down for the count; we wouldn't be disturbing her. We sat down together and he made no effort to remove his arm, keeping it around me and holding me close to him. I needed some comfort, and amazingly enough Ian Malcolm was the one providing it.

"I think you will be," he whispered, and the way he said it almost had me believing it.

He rested his head down on top of mine. It felt right, like he belonged there, and that terrified me, and my heart picked up speed.