The Madonna, The Virgin, and The Whore

Chapter Sixteen

MARY

When I got back from the bathroom neither Lexi nor Erin were where I left them. I stretched up on my toes, hoping to spot either of my sisters in the throngs of people, but didn't have any luck. Normally I'd go looking for them. I'd search this place from top to bottom just to make sure that they were okay, but tonight, tonight I didn't have the energy left in me to play "mom". Instead I leaned over the bar, grabbed the cute bartender's attention, and ordered another mojito.

Tonight I was taking the night off. Besides, I knew if I sat there long enough the two of them would eventually come back, there was no need to go roaming all over the club and get myself lost. And it's not like they could've gone far; after all, I still had the car keys in my pocket. I gave the bartender a generous tip and picked up my mojito. I probably shouldn't be driving though. Or, come to think of it, tipping that big.

For the last two years Matt and I shared a bank account. I wasn't working so he supported me. If things really were done between the two of us, I didn't even have enough money to my name to start over. Glumly I took another sip of my drink and weighed my options. I'd rather bunk up with Lexi in Maine than go back to Matt just because I'm financially dependent on him.

My cellphone chirped in my clutch indicating another text. I didn't have to look at it to know who it was from. Matt had been trying to reach me nonstop, not to mention the bouquets of flowers he was having sent to the house on a daily basis.

"Are violets the appropriate 'I'm sorry I fucked someone else flower?'" Lexi asked when they first started arriving.

And she was right, the flowers didn't make up for anything, but they made it clear that Matt wasn't ready to let go and, if I was honest with myself, there were times I wasn't ready either. Lying in my childhood bed late at night, it was hard not to remember all the good years the two of us had together. They surrounded me in the form of ticket stubs stuck to my bulletin board and memories captured in framed photographs on my bureau; even the goddamn pink elephant on my bed was given to me by Matt. He was everywhere, he was a part of me, and it wasn't easy to just forget that.

Logically I knew what I was supposed to do. Matt had cheated on me, I was unhappy; it made sense. But following through with it just wasn't that simple. Despite everything I still loved him, and feelings didn't just shut off overnight.

But I ignored the text, just like I did the last three, determined not to let my so-called fiancé ruin my night. Taking a sip of the mojito I steadily got drunker and vowed to start taking care of my own needs. Erin and Lexi were both grown women now; they didn't need me anymore. And Matt, Matt had achieved his dream; he was playing for the NFL. I was the only one who was left floundering. I needed to figure out what I wanted out of life, but tonight? Tonight I just wanted to have fun.

I picked up my mojito and killed it off, smiling at the bartender before slipping through the crowd behind me, and heading towards the dance floor. It was so packed inside this place that it wasn't an easy task.

"Mary?"

I stopped suddenly at the sound of my name and looked down as a hand reached out and touched my arm. My eyes grew as I turned around to find Ian standing near me wearing a surprised look too. He looked just as incredible out of a suit as he did in one, wearing a tight, black, long sleeved shirt that left no doubt about what lay underneath it, and a pair of dark, expensive looking jeans. He didn't let go of my arm and the feeling of his fingers on my skin sent a spark through me; the type I hadn't experienced in a long time.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, leaning in and speaking close to my ear so I could hear him.

"I'm with Erin and Lexi," I shouted back. "They needed a break."