One step at a time

39

Melissa Newman

The two weeks flew by so fast. Blake slept with me every night. Most nights I was sandwiched in-between Blake and Lee on the floor with everyone else. This was how they wanted it and I wasn't going to say no I wasn't going to be around for much longer so I thought what the hey who cares if I'm going to die right?. Today was the day of my possible last scan, The treatment plan was to lessen the radiation and give my cancer time to react. My doctor thought that this would be the best way possible plus she didn't want a lot of stress on me knowing that if this didn't work I wasn't going to continue with the treatment. As a doctor she had to disagree with me but as a person she respected my wishes.

I wanted to go alone, I needed to go alone but of course nobody let me. I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital alone but I was allowed to go in alone. I needed to face the facts and I needed to face the truth. I needed to hear that I was out of options. I grabbed the door handle ready to twist I looked back at all my loved ones and smiled. When I walked into this room I was going to be facing my future.. Whatever my doctor held good or bad my life was in her hands. "Please Melissa have a seat" I was shaking that was clear. I had left my wheelchair outside with my family and now I was wondering whether that was a good or bad idea. She gave me a sad smile one that I knew all too well. It was bad news this was the first sign. "Just give it to me straight" I inhaled and exhaled hard. "Why don't you look for yourself" She handed me two scans one from last week and one from earlier today. I frowned. My cancer had grown and by at least 20% I was doomed I'm going to die within the next two weeks.

"Look at the dates before you assume anything" I looked once, Then twice I had lost count my eyes kept darting between dates I had them the wrong way. "This can't be right are you sure these are mine?" I asked out of curiosity. I mean yes they had my name date of birth and everything I just needed confirmation. "Yes there yours" The waterworks began. I had found out my future. I had found out my outcome. She smiled at me and hugged me so tight I think she broke something. "This is a good thing your cancer has shrunk 15% its just a start but if we continue you could go back in remission and with this at least we know how to tackle it for next time if there is a next time" She smiled but I could comprehend a single thing my eyes were still darting between scans. "Your next treatment is in two days if you want to continue" I looked at her gobsmacked. "Hell yes I want to live my life I had given up hope I had given up even thinking of a future I was sure that I was going to die" The waterworks were still there. I needed to be sure so I pinched myself hoping that this wasn't a dream. I drew blood and a bruise was forming.

"Is that all I'm sure they're all dying out there" She nodded and opened the door for me. Everyone's faced drained of all hope as they seen the condition I was in I mean I was still crying for god's sake. "I guess it was too much to ask for Noah I am never turning to you again" Lee looked up to the ceiling. "It shrunk" It was barely a whisper and only my mother heard it because she was standing right next to me. She ran back into the doctor's room and asked for the scans she needed conformation to my words. "YES" My mother screamed everyone looked at her weirdly nobody had heard me. She threw the scans at my father he took one look at them dropped them to the floor and ran over to me giving me the biggest hug and flinging me up in the air like a child. Martin was next to look at them and the smile on his face was priceless. "Why is everyone so happy that she's going to die I don't get it" Tony said as Lee picked up the scans the only reason he knew how to read them was because of our parents, We had learned at a very young age how to read scans in case we needed to one day.

"Because she's not her cancer shrunk, IT SHRUNK" Lee screamed. "You're gonna live Lissa your not gonna leave me" Lee was crying just like I was and mostly to pure shock. Everyone ran to me as my doctor walked out. "We have agreed to continue this treatment her next one is in two days she will need to be here by 10 am and I need those scans back I need proof that I'm a miracle worker" My doctor laughed as my parents went over to hug her. Blake came up to me and rested his hand on my cheek. "Thank you Noah" He said so silently that only I heard. "Wait did all of you pray to Noah" I tried to stop myself from laughing but I couldn't. "He's my cousin I pray to him about everything I don't know why these guys did it" Casey mumbled. "I prayed to him because he loved you, I prayed to him because I know that we both share your heart" Blake said even though I had never said the words I love you he knew how I felt. "I know I fucked up Melissa but let me have one more chance just one more and if I fuck up again I will let Noah beat me up when I get to where he is" I laughed. "Well I gave Noah another shot so why not you but Blake are you willing to share my heart with a dead guy? I will always love Noah I hope you know that before going into this? He smiled. "But I also know that you love me and I am willing to share as long as he is" I looked at Casey and we both laughed. "What's so funny?" Dad asked. "Noah used to always say that when Blake was to come back into my life and he knew he would that he would be willing to share if Blake was he would always say that we would make the best throple" Casey and I laughed once again as we all made our way to the carpark to go home after all everyone still had two weeks left of living with me. Sadly they all had to go back to school in three days because their holiday was over.