One step at a time

26

Melissa Newman

My head was so over the place that no matter how much I tried to sleep my brain just wouldn't let me. I had too much to think about, I had too much on my mind for it to relax so I sighed as I sat up and turned the lamp back on. I heard footsteps approaching the entrance. "Hello old man" I said before turning around. He chuckled "How did you know it was me I could've been someone else" I shook my head. "Your the only one who visits me in here no one else knows where this is but you and if someone did walk past they would think it was just an ordinary tree" He chuckled at my response once again. "That's why my daughter made them like this she somehow knew one day someone would need them she made three in total only 2 are being used at the moment this one will always be yours like the other one will always be hers" This was news to me. "Although she hasn't been in quite some time I still left it the way it was but it is my understanding that she has a family now one boy and one girl who is in fact twins" He spoke while chuckling to himself which is something he has been doing since I meet him. His wife passed a few years ago she was the one who actually spotted me she walked in her to give it her monthly clean when she found me laying on the bed. I was shocked and she just smiled and said it was okay and I was welcome to come here anytime I wanted but to let her or her husband know that I was there and also notify them when I left they kind of became my second family. Their daughter had died in a car crash when she was 27. I found out all of this from his wife never him, he liked to talk in riddles that I never understood.

"How was your holiday" I gave him a look he knew how my holiday was he would often visit never said anything he just sat there and watched me he was there for one of my bad days and he just sat there and watched. It helped a little knowing he was there, He supported me, His stare gave me the will to fight some days. The last time he visited it was the worst I had ever been and his sentence is what made me cry myself to sleep that night. "Don't give up fighting, I can see the light dulling in your eyes but don't it would be worth it in the end your still young you have everything to live for but I can't just sit here and watch you give up" That night was the night I was ready to give up the fight to let cancer take me as far away as possible but his words stuck and little by little I regain what strength I could and kicked cancer in the ass. "Thank you" I heard myself say. He looked confused so now it was my time to give him a puzzle and figure out where they lay. "Well I'm an old man so I best get some sleep see you in the morning for breakfast" That was the only thing he asked for I could stay here as long as I wanted but I had to join him for dinner that was the deal and if it wasn't for that deal at the time they asked I was confused but as time went on I understood why.

This time when I laid my head on the pillow my eyes were finally at rest.

In the morning I woke with a smile, I haven't been here in so long that I missed everything about this place. crawling out of the hole I made my way to the house, A familiar car sitting in the driveway but then again a lot of people have those cars. "Melissa this was the lady I told you about last night" I smiled as my eyes found my mothers and I laughed. "Uh so she's the one who replaced me" My mother laughed. "She's my daughter" My mother smiled at the old man. "At least I know where she's sneaking off too and know she's in safe hands" I smiled as I sat down and started eating. "You know I am 43 years old and I still don't know your name" My mother scrunched her eyebrows. well at least I know I'm not the only one. "You not need to know my name to know who I am" I have heard this every time I had asked for his name after a while I kind of gave up.

Breakfast soon came to an end and my mother stood up. "Well I best be going before my other kid questions where I am" She smiled as she made her way out but before she left and turned around. "I'm glad you found this place Melissa" Then she left nothing else was said as she left. "Back to the hut I assume" The old man asked as I stood up. "Nope got to do dishes first do you need any help around the house?" I knew it was just him. "No your mother helps me once a month I will do the dishes go and enjoy your day Melissa" He spoke as he shoved me out the door. He had a pretty big yard and he kept it in tip-top shape I bet my mother helped every now and then if she feels as drawn to it as I am she would which also explains those trips away she takes. as she calls "Personal trip for myself" The only one who knew where she went was our dad it wouldn't surprise me if he knew of this place. crawling back in the hole I smiled knowing I shared one more thing with my mother.

My old books lay in their places along the bookshelf I had brought and put together. I would always wish my life was a book, some rom-com where I fall in love with a boy I meet at a coffee shop, we fall in love get married and have kids it just sounded too easy and its something that I had always wanted but now in my condition I knew I was asking for too much. My head was full once again mixed with thoughts and wants a future was something that I wanted but wasn't promised. That's what sucks and I realized that's what freaked me out about Blake's question that's why I was scared. I didn't know how much time I had left yet he didn't even know of this. Do I be selfish and take my own happiness or wait for my time to come while being stuck in the same cycle. hoping, wishing, wanting but never getting.