Chapter 65

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For the next two days, Sméagol and Hayley stayed in the hospital with me. Hayley slept on a cot while Sméagol slept in bed with me. They didn't want me to be alone, so Hayley would run all the errands, leaving Sméagol to look after me. I felt so loved and so lucky to have an amazing sister who went out of her way to take care of me, and the most amazing boyfriend who never left my side, not once. Well, whenever either of us had to go to the bathroom, yes, but other than that, he was attached to my side. When he was holding me, I knew everything would be okay, and from the way he stayed by my side, I knew he wasn't going anywhere.

"Hey, guys?" I said. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, Honey," said Hayley.

"What is it, Precious?" added Sméagol.

"Please don't tell Abby about what happened," I said. "I don't wanna make things worse."

"Oh, don't worry," said Hayley. "We won't say anything. I'm not too thrilled with her right now, honestly."

"I'm not mad at her."

"You're not?"

"No. She's only trying to take care of herself, doing what's best for the sake of her mental health."

"Yeah, I guess I understand that, but––"

"She was right. I did lean on her a lot. Every time something bad happened, I always went to her. I didn't realize I was putting too much on her, but at the same time, she's not the first friend to cut me off for that reason. I guess... I leaned on her, because... I thought she understood me. We were a lot alike in many ways, and I felt like I could tell her anything. And... I never had many people I could tell everything to. I mean, I knew I had you, but you know, I didn't wanna put all my stuff on you. So... I put it on other people, and that wasn't fair."

"Well, at least, now you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yeah."

"And, me, too, Precious," added Sméagol.

"Yeah, I know I can come to you guys," I said.

"But, I still think Abby was wrong for turning her back on you," said Hayley, "but that's just me. I'm your big sis. I'm always gonna be on your side, always gonna protect you."

"No, not just you, Precious," said Sméagol. "Sméagol wish Abby did not hurts Cheyenne, either."

"Yeah. I mean, at the very least, she could've just told you how she was feeling, so you would at least know."

"Yeah, I would've stopped leaning on her so much," I said. "I probably would've stopped altogether, actually."

"Yeah. You didn't realize she was feeling overwhelmed. Instead of telling you first, she just cut you off without much of a warning, other than blowing you off and ghosting you. I really just don't think that's fair."

"You know what's really sad? The reason I was texting her this time was because... I wanted to tell her about how I told Logan off and cut him out of my life, and that Sméagol and I are together now. I was actually gonna tell her something positive. Now, I can't. She's gone."

"Well, that's her loss."

"But, yeah, I don't want her to know I tried to kill myself after she left. Actually, I don't want a lot of people to know, not right now. I'm still embarrassed."

Sméagol held me tighter. "Awww, don't be embarrassed, my precious. Sometimes, sneaky depression drives us to hurts ourselves, even when we doesn't want to."

"Yeah. I didn't want to do it," I said, "but... I don't know. I guess I felt like, in that moment, it was the right thing to do. Like, it was the only solution."

"Because, people turns on you too many times."

"Exactly, and I felt like... if people don't want me in their lives anymore, why am I even here? And, I felt like I was doing the world a favor, like everyone would be better off without me."

"No. Precious, no." Sméagol caressed my head and shoulders. "Sméagol would not be better off without you. Would not be alright if you were dead." He began to cry. "I remembers when you said you needs me. Sméagol needs you, too. Very much he does, Precious. I wouldn't be alive without you, and if you dies... much worse than losing the Precious it would be. Much, much worse, because you, my love, are my true Precious."

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