That night, I was, once again, tortured by the same fucking nightmares about Logan. Ugh, when was this going to end? I thought to myself. Was it ever going to end at all, or would I be stuck with these nightmares for the rest of my life?
I woke up a couple hours later with tears in my eyes. I made my way to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet for a few minutes, trying to clear my mind. "Please help me, God," I sighed. "Please. I can't take this anymore." I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and went back to my room. I crawled back into bed, but I was afraid to close my eyes again. I was afraid of having another nightmare, and I honestly couldn't take anymore. Nearly four months later, and I was still being tortured with thoughts and feelings for Logan. I wiped a few tears away as I heard a knock on my door.
"Precious?" Sméagol said softly, cracking the door open, and peeping in. He saw the sad expression on my face through the crack in the door, and immediately came in to see what was going on. "Are you alright, Precious?" he asked sweetly as he tiptoed over to my bed in a dark pink onesie.
"Not really," I said glumly.
Sméagol crawled into the bed, and sat next to me. "Awwww, what is it, Precious?" He caressed my head as I tilted it in his direction.
"I miss Logan," I sniffled. "I've been having nightmares about him."
"Oh, Sweetie."
"I know it's been like, four months, and I should be over him by now, but..." I began sobbing heavily.
Sméagol lifted my head onto his lap, and continued caressing my head. "Precious..." he whispered sweetly. "Why did it not tell Sméagol?"
"I was going to a few weeks back, but you were having your own nightmares. I didn't wanna make things worse for you, because you were already going through enough shit as it was. I didn't wanna burden you."
"Awwww, you are never a burden to Sméagol, my precious. Always you can come to me. Sméagol always be there for you, Sweetie. Never would it have made things harder for Sméagol. Never."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. Come. Tell Sméagol about nightmares."
So, I told Sméagol all about the nightmares about Logan, how they switched between our relationship, our breakup, and his new relationship with Katie. I told him how, one minute, Logan was holding me again, loving me, and saying he would never leave me, and the next, he would be loving and kissing Katie right in front of me, as if I never existed, making the same promises to her as he did to me.
"Awwww," Sméagol said sadly, "my poor precious."
"And, I wanna let him go," I wept, "but I just... I can't. Every fucking day, I go to his Facebook, and I'm about to delete him off my friends list, but... I can't. The thought of cutting him out of my life forever, it––it kills me. Every time I try to let him go, all the memories we made together, they keep coming back and attacking me. I feel so trapped. I can't escape. I feel like I'm totally screwed."
Sméagol lay down next to me, and pulled me close, wrapping his arms and legs around me. "Baby..." he said sweetly.
"I can't take it anymore," I sobbed.
He held me tightly against his chest, and gently caressed my head and backside.
"He really hurt me, Sméagol."
"I knows," he said sweetly. "I knows, Baby."
My sobbing escalated as he continued caressing and comforting me.
"Shhh. Sméagol's here. It'll be alright, my precious. Sméagol never leave you. Sméagol knows he hurts you, Baby, but Sméagol never, ever leave you. I always be here for you, Baby. Always." He gently played with my hair. "Awwww, so beautiful you are, Precious. Yes, so lovely your hair is. So soft to touch. So bright it shines, like the beautiful yellow face in the sky. Sméagol was once afraid of the sun, Precious. Yes, very afraid he was. Too bright and too hot it was. It burned and blinded him, it did. Not anymore. Not since the Precious was destroyed, and Sméagol finds a new Precious."
My heart fluttered at his sweet words. "You mean me?"
"Yes. Yes, Cheyenne is Sméagol's new Precious. So beautiful and sweet and lovely she is... with the voice of an angel. Yes, Sméagol loves her very, very much, so much more than the other Precious." He kissed my forehead. "It's alright, Baby. Sméagol knows Cheyenne still loves Logan. Sméagol knows Cheyenne is still hurting deeply, so Sméagol wait for Precious Cheyenne. However long it takes, Sméagol wait for you, my love."
Holy shit! I thought. Did Sméagol just confess to me that he was in love with me?! Oh, my gosh! It was like a dream come true, but it seemed too good to be true. Did he really want me in that way, or was I dreaming? I wanted him, too. I knew I had strong feelings for him, too. Honestly, I had those feelings for him from the start, but I never said anything. At first, it was because I needed to get over Logan, and I knew I wasn't ready for another relationship right after getting my heart broken for the zillionth time. Now, it was because I was afraid. Of what? Getting hurt again, hurting him, screwing it all up, and of course, I was still struggling to get over Logan.
"Precious?" Sméagol said sweetly.
"Yeah?"
"Can Sméagol sing to you?"
"Yeah, I would really like that. Thanks."
"Awwwww, come here, my precious baby." He held me tighter. "Sméagol sing to you all night." He kissed my forehead again. "Close your eyes, my love. Close your eyes. Sméagol is here. Yes, Sméagol take care of you, Baby." He continued caressing me as he began to sing a sweet song to me. What was the song he was singing? Nothing I'd ever heard before, but it was so beautiful. I listened to the words, and quickly realized it was a song he created himself. The words were so heartfelt, sweet, and genuine, and his voice was so warm, soft, and loving. I closed my eyes, and drifted off to sleep in his arms. All through the night, he continued singing to me, different songs, both songs of his own creation and songs by other artists, such as, well, Celtic Woman, duh.
When I fell asleep, I did not see Logan's face or hear his voice. In this dream, I was the one in a dark cave, wasting away to nothing, and ready to give up. Then, I heard singing, and I saw a beautiful, bright ball of light entering my gloomy cave. I looked up with a face soaked in tears, and I saw Sméagol in a white, zip-up onesie with a very long tail and huge, awesome wings. Sméagol slowly approached me, and extended his hand to me. "It's alright, my precious," he whispered to me. "Sméagol's here. Sméagol loves you, Precious. Sméagol always love you. Never leave you, my precious. Never. Always be here for you... forever. Come, Precious. Take Sméagol's hand. Yes, Sméagol take care of you. Sméagol love you forever. Don't be afraid, my precious. Sméagol never hurt you, only wants to make you happy." He smiled sweetly as I gradually reached my hand out to him. "Yes, Precious. Take Sméagol's hand."
I slowly locked my fingers with his. They were so warm and soft to the touch.
He pulled me close, and held me against his chest. "It's alright, Precious. Sméagol take care of your heart. Never break it, Precious. Only make it better." He kissed my forehead. "Sméagol give you his heart, too. It's yours, my love. Come. Sméagol take you away from darkness." He lifted me into his arms, and carried me out of the cave. The world around me was so colorful, bright, and beautiful, and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy as he slowly began to rise from the ground. Soon, we were in the sky, looking down on the world below, but I wasn't scared. I knew I was safe, and my dark cave was nowhere in sight. All my troubles seemed to have completely vanished.
We ascended further and further into the heavens, until we reached a huge, white, fluffy cloud. Sméagol sat on the cloud, still holding me in his arms. He gently kissed my lips, and looked into my eyes with the sweetest, warmest, brightest smile. "Sméagol loves you, Precious," he wept happily. "Sméagol loves you so much. It's alright now, my love. You're home. No more pain, Precious. No more darkness. Sméagol take it all away. Come here, Baby." He pulled me closer, and held me tightly as he sang to me. I could hear his beautiful singing through the whole dream, but now, it was even clearer. As I lay in his arms, I held onto him tightly, and I knew that everything would be okay.
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Second Chances: An Unexpected Angel
FanfictionPart 1 of a Trilogy Cheyenne is both Autistic and visually impaired, and struggles with relationships, both platonic and romantic. Her older sister, Hayley, introduced her to Lord of the Rings, and Cheyenne is immediately drawn to the character, Smé...