Ride

14: That Incident

Author's note: Hi guys, I know I haven't written in a while and I really apologize for that but there are so many deadlines lately and it is crazy, as well as some frienship issues. So I was just sorting things out first and didn't really have the time to write. But I managed to whip this one up for you guys. I know the last chapter wasn't as amazing/good, yes it was a filler chapter but I felt it was too early if I added some drama in there so this chapters about Bradley and why he and Alabama are no longer the best of friends. Hope the reason isn't too brutal and I hope you enjoy it! For those who are still reading, voting and commenting. All I have to say is I love you so much! Like seriously, and thank you :) You make me want to continue writing this story <3 Anyways, enough of my whining, here you go! 

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I wondered if they were looking for me. I wondered if they even cared right now, even though I had run I still missed them like crazy. It was weird, they were abusive. Physically, emotionally and socially they made me want to die. But maybe it was the DNA, the gene that connected us all. And I craved that, I craved being with someone, I craved having someone to talk to, someone I can pour my deepest and darkest secrets to. Maybe Bradley wouldn’t have hated me if I hadn’t been so needy and made him stay with me instead of going to her house. Maybe Brody and Reece would have loved me if I weren’t so ugly and worthless; maybe I needed to exercise more. Maybe I needed to conform to what everyone wants me to be. My parents, I craved for them to love me. I craved for them to give me hugs and kisses, surprise presents and a well home cooked dinner. Maybe Brandi wouldn’t have used me if I was just like her, a gorgeous blonde girl with legs and luscious locks that last for days.

I looked over at Granny Bea, she was silently sleeping  with her hands folded on her lap. Behind us Lon and Sydney were taking a little nap as well, Lon had his arm over Sydney’s little head. Katherine and Thomas were talking in hush tones so that they wouldn't  wake their son up. And me? I was looking out the window trying to stop the tears that were coming. I had to figure out what I was going to do after I was done with my little trip. I actually wished I had someone to rely on, I wish Brad was here to talk to me, to calm me down from getting so emotionally upset. I had purposely left my pills at home. I only brought two bottles along with me, I didn't want them to keep draining my energy. Without them I felt so free, I felt so happy, I felt like I was myself, my own person. I didn't need to be scared of anything... Except for those memories, except for my future, except for August. Actually I am scared. I'm so scared of being alone, I'm so scared of ending up alone. Most of all, I'm so scared of myself.

Would I be able to handle myself?

Would I be able to go on living life like I am now?

What would happen to me after I got to wherever this bus was going?

Would I get a decent job that would support me?

Would I have a family of my own?

Do I have a chance?

My mind is filled with questions, questions that I cannot answer, not just yet. And that's what I am scared of. I am scared of being a nobody, I'm scared of blurring into the scenery that no one realizes how broken I am, how hurt and injured I am. I'm so scared if I would have ended up on the streets. I thought back to that night. If it wasn't for me, if I hadn't been such a needy, greedy person then she would still be here. And he wouldn't have been so mad at me. I would still have a friend, a friend that would have told me to stay, to tell me to hang out and to tell me that things get better in the end. She would still be alive and Brad would still have her. It was all my fault.