He's Iglesia I'm Catholic (Bestfriend Series #2)

Chapter 4

Umuwi ako sa bahay namin na mabigat ang loob. Nagprisinta pa si Sam na ihatid ako pero agad akong tumanggi. Nakakahiya naman kasi kong ihahatid pa niya ako dahil may practice sila ng mga kaibigan niya. We're not that even so close.

When I finally arrived at our home, agad akong nagbayad  sa driver ng taxi na sinakyan ko at nagpasalamat. I heave a sigh as I finally entered our home. When I saw my grandparents who are busy talking at the living area, I immediately smiled at them.

"Oh apo, how's your dinner with them?" tanong kaagad ni Grandma sa akin at tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo sa sofa.

I smiled at her and hug her.

"Okay naman po, grandma." I said when I finally let go of our hug.

Ayaw kong sabihin sa kanila ang totoong nangyari dahil baka mag-alala lang sila at magkagulo. I know my grandma well, she's kind but when it comes to me at ako ang nasaktan at na-agrabyado ay hindi niya pinapalampas. She don't wanted me to get hurt.

"Nabusog ka ba? Gusto mo kumain ulit?" she asked but I just smiled.

"Huwag na po, grandma. I'm already full na po." I said and she nodded.

Humalik naman kaagad ako sa pisngi niya at sunod ay sa pisngi ni grandpa. My grandpa kiss my forehead before I finally went to my room. Agad akong nagbihis ng pantulog at ginawa ang night routine ko. When I finished doing my night routine, I immediately lay in my bed and look at the ceiling.

The led lights of my room makes me calm. My room is my comfort zone. Sa tuwing may problema ako ay ang nakakapagpagaan lang ng loob ko ay ang kwarto ko. I used to cry here whenever I have a problem and I can't take the pain anymore. Ang kwarto at mga unan ko ang saksi sa mga pag-iyak ko na hindi ko pinapakita sa iba.

Ayaw ko naman kasing malaman ng grandparents ko ang mga problema ko kaya sinasarili ko nalang kahit ang bigat na. I don't wanted them to get involve lalo pa't alam kong ang dami na nilang isinakripisyo para sa akin.

I choose to hide what I truly feel dahil mas gusto kong nakikita nila akong okay at walang problema. I can smile and joke around during the day but sometimes when I'm alone at night, I don't know how to feel. Pakiramdam ko may kulang. It was like I'm longing for something.

Yes, I have my grandparents, my siblings and my bestfriends pero pakiramdam ko hindi pa din sapat...hindi pa din sapat dahil hindi ko kailanman naramdaman ang pagmamahal ng mga magulang ko.They provide for my needs but I don't wanted those. Hindi yon ang gusto ko dahil ang gusto ko ay maramdaman ang alaga at pagmamahal nila.

But somehow I know that they can't give me that. Kailangan kong tanggapin na may mga bagay na hindi pwedeng ipilit kong ayaw talaga. Kailangan kong tanggapin na kahit kailan ay hindi ko mararanasan ang isang kompleto at masayang pamilya kasama ang mga magulang ko.

I always tell myself that it's okay because I have my grandparents but is it wrong if I wish that I also have my parents beside me? mali ba na maghangad pa ng pagmamahal galing sa mga magulang ko?

Kahit sana saglit lang. Kahit saglit lang maramdaman kong buo kami at masaya...na mahal nila ako at maramdaman ko ang pag-aaruga nila.

Napabuntong hininga nalang ako sa mga naiisip ko. Inilibot ko ang paningin sa kwarto ko at napangiti ng bahagya. I'm a selenophile person kaya halos lahat ng designs ng kwarto ko ay mga moon. I like moon because like myself, it shined it's brightest when no one was around to see. And just like moon, I was sorrounded by many stars and can't help but to still feel lonely because I felt like I was different and felt like my light wasn't enough to everybody that is around me.

Shantal is opacarophile and at the same time thallasophile because of her  obsession of sunset and sea. She loves going to beaches. Solana is a pluviophile because she loves rain so much. Mas narerelax daw kasi siya kapag umuulan.While Amari, is a nyctophile type of person because she loves night and darkness. May iba iba kaming mga gusto.