What If Instead Of...

Preface

What is love?

If someone had asked me earlier, I would have answered something about romantic feelings, vows, confessions and heroic deeds.

I knew a lot more about love when I wasn't in it.
What a wicked irony.

Love is madness.
You can feel it even for the one who caused you the most pain.

Love leaves no choice.
You just fall into the abyss, not understanding where he ends and you begin.

You love a person so much that your heart no longer belongs to you - it is owned by the one you have feelings for, because it's filled with him.

You keep thinking about the beautiful moments of the past and the future you could have, even if you were cruelly betrayed.

Your mind is also playing tricks on you.
You want to hate, but you can't, because your love is all-consuming and forgiving.

I hate love.

I hate feeling betrayed.

I hate feeling.

Two opposing forces are fighting within me.
They both take turns absorbing me completely, intercepting supremacy from each other.

I want to run as far away as possible without looking back. And at the same time, I want to come back.

My love is not at all like what I once dreamed of - my love is a disappointment, the tragedy of a naive fool.

If I were a rational person, I would never have fallen into this trap.

It hurts.

It feels like my bones are breaking inside - it's my heart leaving my chest, desperately weeping and begging for help.

My soul has already been taken away.
This means I have nothing left of myself.

I'm nothing.
There is only emptiness inside.