Oh. My. Fate?! (Bl, Volume 10, Part 1)

80 A Late Revelation

This time, neither of the two husbands could keep up with what their king said.

Seeing them frozen stiff, Qiu Ling hastily walked to the door. "Well, I'll let you think that through for while. If you're looking for me, I'll be telling Jing Yi about what happened last night. Then, I have a wedding to prepare. Oh, yes, I promised to marry him if you didn't know yet. Just so you're in the loop." With that, he already reached the door, opened it, stepped out, and closed it right behind him. Then, he rushed into his own room, pulling the door shut behind himself with a bang.

He hated to admit it but his heart was racing. He ... never would have thought that one day, he would tell people about his big secret. But by now, there already was a handful in the know. He had merely added two more. He just wished he had prepared better for it, but then, there likely wasn't any preparation to be made for such an announcement.

In any case, having done it was ... an odd feeling. And that feeling didn't get any better when he realized that Jing Yi was in the room and was currently staring at him. Apparently, he had been pacing up and down and the sudden, loud interruption had spooked him.

Qiu Ling stared back at him and then smiled faintly. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to startle you."

Jing Yi shook his head and then came over, looking him up and then. "Well, you look alright right now but I don't think that's really the case."

Qiu Ling reached out and pulled him into his arms, holding onto him and putting his chin on his shoulder. "Considering the circumstances, I am alright. I ... just told Fu Min and Fu Heng about my mother. And, well, about some other things as well but I guess that is the main part that is making me feel ill at ease.

"Anyway, they know now. I just ... I mean I know I can't tell everyone but I just feel that at least my advisers should know. Yi Zan and Qiang Wei also don't know yet so ... well, one day, I'll have to tell them as well."

Jing Yi nodded even though that absolutely wasn't what he had meant but he could feel that this was something that meant a lot to Qiu Ling. It really wasn't hard to tell. Right now, he was shaking.

He hugged him back, closed his eyes, once again going over what he had been thinking about for the past few hours since Jinde had told him what had happened. Finally, he stepped back and took Qiu Ling's hands, giving him a long look. Then, he pulled him over to the table and urged him to sit down.

Qiu Ling raised his brows, not quite sure what to make of this. "This is ...?"

Jing Yi looked at him, his brows drawing together. "I know this isn't what you're currently thinking about but Jinde told me everything and I've been thinking since then that all of this is my fault. I've realized that. And I'm sorry. Not to him but to you. I never meant to hurt you and I do realize that I am just doing this out of selfishness. I've done so all the time and I'm still doing it. What we talked about yesterday ... forget about it. I will swear that oath regardless of us marrying. In fact, I will do so now."

Before Qiu Ling could say anything, Jing Yi straightened up and cleared his throat. He honestly didn't know how these oaths worked but from the bit that he knew, just saying the words should be enough. "I swear ... on my love for you, that I will not try to hurt Jing He again in any way for as long as I live."

He had pondered for the longest time what to swear on. He couldn't use his life since that might have the opposite effect of what he wanted and might instead make Qiu Ling spiral even more. But other than that, there was only one thing he cared about: Qiu Ling and their relationship. Yes, other than his own life, this love of theirs was the most important to him so this was the only thing he could use.

Qiu Ling stared at him and then blinked his eyes, not quite sure what to make of this. "That ... Why not wait until the wedding? We talked it through, didn't we? That was what you wanted as well."

Jing Yi smiled wryly and then sat down, his shoulders sagging as if a big burden had been lifted from them. "Well, that is how an oath is done, isn't it? I mean, it counts, right? I didn't forget anything?"

Qiu Ling pondered for a moment and then nodded. "Yes, that is how it works." Well, usually there was a part where people would declare what would happen in case of them breaking the oath. But he couldn't help but feel that Jing Yi had rushed into this and he was afraid of what he would come up with if he let him swear the actual oath. Thus, he kept that quiet. If it was really necessary, he'd bring it up again after the wedding just as they had agreed before.

Jing Yi heaved a sigh of relief and then reached out again, taking Qiu Ling's hands. Now that he had done this, he was willing to talk. Before, he would never have dared to. "I know what you want to say. It ... it must seem strange that after just a day, I'm suddenly changing my tune again.

"But this morning, I was woken up by a bunch of people storming into the room, you gone, some blood left on the bed, and them telling me that you had almost died next to me without me knowing. I finally realized that I can't go on like this.

"Yes, we can make some kind of pact. I can swear that oath in exchange for getting married and being first for once. But, at the end of the day, this won't allow us to be happy. No, thinking about it now, that isn't what I want."

He lowered his head, looking a little defeated. Yes, he had always wanted to be with Qiu Ling. And after finding out about Jing He, he hadn't been able but want to be the only one. But this wasn't how that worked.

What they had agreed on yesterday, that was a way to go forward but it was one that would only add to the hurt of him trying to assassinate Jing He. And today, he had found out just how badly that kind of thing could go.

He wasn't willing to take the risk anymore. He ... he did not want to lose Qiu Ling. Even if for the rest of his life — however long that might be — he would only ever be second-best, that would still be better than losing Qiu Ling.

Well, he could only hope that this revelation wasn't coming too late.