Chapter 31

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My sweat soaked the sheets beneath me as I tossed and turned in my bed at home. My nightmares were the vicious kind. They were filled with dark colors and reaching hands, grabbing me, or trying to hurt me. I called out for help in my dreams, but nobody came for me. In a way I was grateful; I knew I didn't deserve help.

I was ripped from a nightmare violently as Dominic shook me awake by the shoulders. He had dark circles under his eyes and his body slumped as he stood over me. It looked like he could fall asleep at any moment. The lamp beside us was clicked on, but the room was still mostly dark. 

"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly, blinking as if his eyes hurt to hold open.

I nodded, although I was unsure of my answer. I felt too hot under my blankets, so I tried to remove them and pull myself into the chilled air.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, sitting up and feeling the uncomfortable pounding in my head once more. I twisted my fingers through my hair and tried to grip it where it hurt. The pain wasn't going away.

He turned to my nightstand and cracked the lid off a little white bottle of pills, before handing me two. He gave me a bottle of water with it and said, "For your headache." I popped them in my mouth and drank the water like I was in the middle of the Sahara. It soothed the ache in my throat and helped with the heat. I thanked him and he set it down.

"I'm in here because..." he scratched the back of his head and his shoulders fell. "I want to help...? I can't just sit around and do nothing."

My heart warmed at that, and I wanted to give him a hug, but I was afraid he'd fall asleep on top of me.

"But you need sleep!" I argued, my eyes looking sadder than I intended them to. What if he got sick because he was staying up all night?

"I am sleeping," he said, throwing a nod to the wall next to my door. There was a blanket and pillow resting against it and a black cord plugged into the wall, charging his phone.

"I don't think that counts," I said wryly.

He shoved my shoulder lightly, pushing me back against my pillows. I laughed and he did too. My head started spinning suddenly and I groaned, falling back in my bed, and squeezing my eyes shut. He got up suddenly and went into my bathroom. I heard a drawer close, and the faucet run before he was back by my side, pressing a cold washcloth to my forehead. The water dripped down onto my cheeks but felt amazing.

"Why are you so nice?" I asked him weakly.

"Because I care about you," he said gruffly, avoiding eye contact. "Everyone has been in here though, not just me."

"Doesn't change the fact that you're here now," I said, closing my eyes once more.

I moved over so he could sit beside me on the bed. He did and leaned back against the headboard with an arm behind his head. He closed his eyes too, out of sheer exhaustion.

After a minute of silence, he murmured, "Did you really see your uncle?"

I froze and then tried to relax my muscles. I was sure he would think it was because I was remembering him, and not from guilt. It was both.

"I thought so," I whispered back.

 "What does he look like?" he asked carefully.

"He has reddish-brown hair and blue eyes, with a smile that crosses his whole face. He's tall with huge arms." I said, feeling anxiety roll in my stomach. It was almost like an old friend now.

 "Yikes," he said, visualizing my description. "Are his arms as big as mine?"

I giggled and looked to see Dominic's arms, which were still flexed behind his head. They looked massive this close to me.

"Maybe not quite," I said, closing my eyes once more.

"Hell yeah," he replied in a monotone voice, making us both crack up.

"Do you work out like every day?" I asked seriously, mostly trying to change the subject.

"Damon and I do together. Sometimes Caleb joins us. We all want to feel stronger," he confessed. 

"Because of Bella?" I asked, letting the guilt pierce my heart. They were suffering over something they didn't have any part in causing. I pictured the girl in my memories and couldn't help but see her crumpled on the ground. I wanted it to be a different girl so badly.

"That, and just what we've experienced. I like feeling in control, and being physically strong helps me feel that way," he said, voicing his thoughts. I nodded, understanding that.

"I want to be strong," I said quietly, trying not to sound lame.

"You are strong," he insisted back automatically.

"No, really strong!"

"You are really strong!" he maintained. 

I crossed my arms over my chest, and glared at him, hoping that he would succumb and admit I was weak. He glared back just as intently until I gave up and my glare dropped to the blanket. He chuckled and leaned back with his eyes shut once more. 

"Why do you want to be strong?" he asked, as his breathing grew deeper. I could tell he was nodding off and would be asleep soon.

"I want to be able to defend myself. I don't want to be afraid of what's coming. I want to be ready for it." I said, voice growing fiercer with every word. I meant it with every fiber of my being.

Dominic didn't answer. He was already fast asleep. 

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