I strewn on my undergarments, struggling to pull on the heavy armor over it. I buckled everything into place, made sure my armor was aligned. It felt a relief to wear this again, although it was a pain at times. I got my helmet from the shelf, looking down at it in my hands. I walked in front of my mirror, placing the helmet on my head. I saw a reflection that lied to me. I let my feelings get in the way. Midgard turned me soft. Just as it did to Thor. My plan was to manipulate Thor's feelings, make him think everything was alright when it wasn't. I was doing well, but something happened along the way and I ruined it.
What I said to Thor before the first time we kissed, it was all part of the plan to manipulate him. Mold him to how he thought I was and destroy it. But what I spoke was real, and I didn't realize it was until I truly felt the pain. I tried to ignore it, but when our lips met I felt all my hatred melt and all was left were my pathetic emotions. Sentiment is an ugly thing. It began with a lie and ended in truth.
Even just now, in the bath. I didn't think Thor of the enemy I knew he was, I thought of him as one I could trust. I was blinded. Every time I got a plan, it was ruined. I scowled in anger, placing my helmet down on the clothes drawer. The book, everything was a plan. Of course, I let my emotions get in the way. Don't mix manipulation with sentiment. I repeated in my head, leaving my chamber to go to the feast. I realized that I still had the pendant necklace in my pocket, the one I had planned to use against Thor when we were in Midgard. I forgot it.
I cursed myself inwardly, knowing my plan had failed hugely. Pull on a smile, Loki. Act as if it's all real. Manipulate. I knew it would be hard, but I can't let it go like I did back in Midgard.
I entered the hall, voices errupting, glasses clanking in unison. Thor caught sight of my almost instantly, striding towards me. Don't fall for his eyes. "Brother!" He said, clasping an arm around my shoulders. Don't fall for his touch. "Hello." I said quietly, forcing a smile. He smiled at me, his eyes looking into mine. Don't fall for his eyes. His hand slid down my back as he drew his hand away, I cringed. Don't. Fall. For. His. Touch. I smiled at him, him smiling back. "Thor!" Shouted Volstagg, his voice booming. Thor quickly was taken away by the Warriors 3, leaving me to find mother.
She was the only one that truly felt like family. I walked the hall, unnoticed by everyone-As usual. I walked to the end, spotting mother on the balcony. I approached her slowly, quietly. "I'm back." I said softly. She turned to me, her eyes lighting up. She let out a whimper between excitement and sorrow-Nearly throwing herself at me as she slung her arms around my shoulders into a tight embrace. I smiled, wrapping my arms loosely around her. "Oh, I've missed you dearly! You have finally come to return!" She littered my head with motherly kisses, pulling away to look at me. She smiled, pulling me into another hug.
"I missed you, too." I said, taking in the her scent. She always smelled like garden flowers and fresh air, a scent of hers I grew up with. "Your words have changed!" She said, smiling. "Midgard surely took it's tole on you." She joked, wiping a thumb over my cheek. You have no idea.
We eventually walked back to the hall, mother taking her place at thrown with Odin. I sighed, gathering fresh food as the servants placed it out. Once I had enough food that I surely wasn't going to finish, I sat at the end, away from Thor. I had to go through my thoughts, try to lie to myself and maybe It'd work. He's nothing to you. He only does these things to make you trust him so he can simply break it again. You were friends once as children-But that's over. You didn't see who he truly was. Who you truly are. You're of Jotun blood, you are not one to love an Asgardian. You are one of Jotunheim.
Even as I told myself this, images of Thor and I submerged to my mind. His soft touch, bright eyes, kind smile. I was at war with myself, and honestly, I was losing. I don't know what had gotten into me to turn me so soft. Maybe I was always this way but didn't see it. I picked at my food, not eating a single thing. I was't hungry, and even if I was, I had too much on my mind to eat. So much for a reunion. I though, seeing all the attention on Thor. Like always. I left my plate where it was, knowing I'd be able to sneak out unseen.
