Empty

●Chapter Twelve●

I walked into our room to see Daichi sitting against the wall crying in what looked like a severe panic attack. I knew exactly how he was feeling and I was so scared he was going to relapse. I slid over to him as fast as I could. 

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here. I'm right here." I said. I pulled him into a hug similar to how Bokuto did with me. He was crying so much he couldn't talk and his breathing was shaky and all over the place. 

You caused this.

I held him and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down, as well as keep myself calm. He eventually matched my breathing and calmed down to the point where the tears were coming but he wasn't sobbing, he could breathe normally and talk normally. 

"What's up?"

"Like I said….there's still some days where I struggle." 

"What's going through your head right now? You wanna talk about it?" I asked. 

"I feel like I'm not good enough, that everything I do isn't enough for anyone." He said. More tears stained his face. I hate seeing him like this. It physically hurts to see him this upset. 

"You're more than enough, Daichi. Did something happen today to trigger this?" I asked. 

"I don't know. Today was honestly pretty good. I just...I really don't know." That doesn't sound convincing. I know what triggered it. 

You did. 

"Did...did I do something?" I asked. He didn't answer, which in its own answered for me. God damnit. 

"I'm sorry, Daichi." 

"It's fine, you're allowed to hang out with people, it's just, I'll be honest, I knew this mini breakdown was coming. It's been building for months. That just happened to be what set it off."

You deserve to feel pain for this. 

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked. I wanted to make it better. I was too focused on helping him to even bother with the voice in my own head.

"I don't know." He said. He leaned on my shoulder and grabbed my hand. 

"Look here." I said. He complied, even though I knew he didn't want to. I put my hand on his face and wiped some of his tears away, "It'll be alright. I promise."

"You sure?" He asked. 

"A hundred percent." I replied, giving him a small smile. I pulled him in and kissed him. Honestly, he's an amazing kisser, even when he's crying. When we pulled away to breathe, the smile on his face was absolutely amazing. 

"I love you." He said. 

"I love you too. Let's...let's make it official." I said. 

"You said you wanted to wait though." He questioned. He's right, I did, but this moment right here made me realize how much I really did love him, and how much we both really need each other.

"I know but...let's do it anyway." I laughed. He nodded and pulled me in for another kiss.

It got a bit heated, meaning he ended up on top of me, pushed me back to the ground and pinned my arms above my head and made out with me. He's a dom...not surprised. Wonder if he has a daddy kink, but instead of daddy he likes being called Captain? Wouldn't surprise me, to be honest. 

We kept going like this until we heard Asahi walk in. 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry yall." He said. I mean...at least we were both still fully clothed.