Madhouse || Park Jimin

37

After taking a shower and getting dressed, I take a look at myself in the mirror and my reflection surprises me.

I look... healthy.

The dark circles in my eyes are gone, my skin looks brighter and my face has regained its color.

Physically, I'm getting better, but my mental state is still chaotic and confused. I hate the way this daily routine makes me feel like all this is fine, when it isn't fine at all.

I leave the room carefully, taking a look at both sides of the hallway and walk to Taehyung's room silently. I don't bother knocking, I just enter. We always see each other after dawn, when Jimin's gone on his morning walk and Yoongi's asleep.

He greets me with a smile. "I could get used to this."

"Don't get the wrong idea, I just talk to you because you're the most sane out of the three." I shake my head.

"I understand." He nods.

"You're still a killer for me, and I'll never forgive you for that."

He nods again. "You've already told me."

He isn't a killer.

That annoying voice in my head keeps making affirmations that make me question this whole thing.

I walk to the window, taking a look outside.

"One would think you care for me." I turn my head to look at him.

"You know I care for you, you're the only thing I care for." He joins his eyebrows.

"You have a very messed up way of showing it, or is it that you forgot you cheated on me?" I ask.

His eyes widen slightly. "___, I-"

"I don't want to hear any excuses, what you did was inexcusable." I completely turn to face him, remembering something. "Taehyung, was it you who left those weird notes in my room back in the psychiatric?"

He looks surprised at my question, but he doesn't answer, lowering his head and I nod, continuing. "Was it also you who followed me in the forest and kissed my cheek that night?"

He raises his head to look back at me, a pained expression on his face. "I know what I did was wrong, but I was desperate, ___, I needed to touch you again. I hated seeing you so close to other boys, I wanted to... somehow remind you that you already belonged to someone."

"I didn't belong to anyone, Taehyung, I already ended things with you. You had no right to do that." I send him a glare and he takes a step towards me.

"What I did was inexcusable, but there's nothing I regret more in my life than that. What I feel for you is genuine, nothing in my life's been realer than my feelings for you, ___."

But I don't feel anything for him anymore.... But I can't tell him that, it isn't part of the plan.

He's really possessive, provoke him, make him jealous, that's his weakness.

"If you feel so much for me, why are you willing to share me?" I ask and see his shoulders tense. "Why'd you agree on having me here, trapped with two other boys that can take me whenever they want?"

I see his hands clenching in fists.

Bingo.

"They won't have you, ___," he says with clenched teeth. "I know you'd never be interested in them anyway, and they wouldn't be capable of forcing you."

"They wouldn't?" I let out a sarcastic laugh. "We're talking about psychopaths, Taehyung, I think you should know that limits aren't something they have."