Vår revolution

VII SIMON

S: I am kinda tired of you apologizing every time. You are so scared of your mom, you can't blame her for you being a coward. You're ashamed of me. I know this is never going to work out. Please be brave for yourself, but I can't take this.

He wrote the message with Tears in his eyes, but he clicked on 'send'. It needed to be said.

W: I am sorry I know I needed to say it but I just forgot it was stupid please forgive me.

Simon opened it, what could he answer?
He wasn't ready to be with Wilhelm or forgive him for every stupid mistake he had made. But some part of him felt bad, he missed Wilhelm so much. Simon just didn't want to repress these emotions.
It was better to not feel.

A few days passed and today Sara and Simon where moving in to Hillerska.
After the fight between Sara and Simon, the vibe in their house was really of. No one really talked, even their mom didn't attempt to change the atmosphere. She understood that this could only be fixed with some time and patience.

Simon didn't want to go live at Hillerska anymore since he knew that they got the scholarship from aug*st. But he had to go, everything was already planned.

The room where Simon slept felt empty, everything that made it HIS room was packed. That made it a lot easier to stand there, no memories, just a boring room. That's what he told himself but deep down he couldn't stop thinking about what happened here, just don't get too emotional and move on!

He needed to get some things out of his night stand and then he was ready. Simon opened it and just picked up his charger, some tissues, some money, a necklace.

WAIT, a necklace?  He never wore necklaces. He let it rest between his fingers, Simon knew exactly where it came from, Wilhelm. It was a silver necklace with a cross on, he wore it often and now he left it at Simon's home. Would he have done it on purpose? Or did he just forget about it? Whatever, it was enough to make Simon feel bad again. He never answered his texts.

'Mi amor, come now we have to leave!', his mom yelled from the hallway. 'I'm coming!', Simon grabbed the necklace and quickly put it in his pocket.

Once in the car it was just silent, again.
Simon decided to listen to his favorite music, he could listen to it without having to think about anything else than the calming sound.

The car arrived at Hillerska and the family got everything out of the car. They walked into the big building with all their bags and of course Simon's fishes. He just couldn't leave his children behind. No decent father would do that.

Simon walked into the hallways of the school when he saw August talking to some other guys, he just wanted to punch him right in the face and scream at him for ruining his relationship and life. Simon didn't, he just gave him a dirty look and walked to the dorms.

He got to the dorms and searched for his room, it was on the right side. Simon walked in, he knew that room, it was Wilhelms room? How could that be, maybe the prince got an even bigger room. Simon didn't really think of why, he just put his stuff down and he sat on the bed, Wilhelms bed, now his bed. The bed where they shared one amazing night together, but that was all. 

The entire room still smelled like Wille, Simon sat there. It looked sad and honestly, that's all what it was: sad. How could he sleep while being constantly reminded of what he didn't have?

Simon said goodbye to his mom. Miserable and alone. Sarah seemed to be doing well, she slept with Felice and  made a lot of other friends. Simon was trying hard to be happy for her but he just wanted to go back to Marieberg, to Ayub and Rosh, to his mom, to the times before Wilhelm, to laughing with Sara, to his dad, to his old life. Why did everything had to be so complicated? He started sobbing quietly while trying to fall asleep in a bed he rather would have shared.