A Season of Firsts

Chapter 31

The mountain air clears the fog from my brain, and I'm thinking about where yesterday leaves Rory and I. I was so grateful to him for looking after me on New Year's Eve, and letting me stay in his family home while I recovered – physically, at least. But he's tainted it with his actions yesterday. I still silently fume every time I think about him going behind my back. Yes, I hurt him when I was involved with Felix and didn't come clean about it, but I feel like we're on an even playing field now that we've both ended up hurting each other. Maybe we're better off as friends if us being romantically involved ends in such disasters.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Hallie asks, looking at me inquisitively as we board the gondola that will take us to the top of the mountain.

"You don't want to pay to get inside my head," I laugh, "Not at the moment, at least," I add hastily, not wanting her and Mabel to fear that I am on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. Maybe I was yesterday, but today is feeling like a good day, if I can just stop thinking about everything that has happened in the past week. Hallie sits down on the bench seat beside me, with Mabel opposite me, looking at me like she has constantly recently – with concern.

"I'm not going to throw myself off the gondola, if that's what you're worried about Mabel," I joke, desperately hoping to get a laugh from her. I get a timid smile instead, and the question she's been dying to ask since I got home after going to speak to Rory yesterday.

"Did you two work things out?" she asks, staring at me intently.

"Who?" I respond, playing dumb, because I'd rather not think or talk about Rory. The pain of our breakup is still fresh in my mind, even though it's been outshone by Felix's actions.

She tilts her head at me as if to say, 'Really?', and says, "You and Rory – did he apologise?"

"Yes," I say curtly.

"Did you accept his apology?"

"I'm working on it."

"That's all I can ask. He still really cares about you, you know," she says, as if it makes a difference.

"And we're still broken up," I say. I feel the need to remind her, because she doesn't seem to be getting it. "Which I think is a good thing, because I am not in a place to be in a relationship right now, so don't get any matchmaking ideas, okay?"

"Okay," she concedes, and sits quietly for a while, letting me take in the breath-taking view out of the window. The shutter has just gone off on the camera hanging from around my neck when she starts speaking again, "On a completely unrelated note, my parents are hosting a charity gala tomorrow night in the Four Seasons ballroom, and I think you both should come with me."

Hallie joins the conversation, coming to my rescue, "I don't know if crowds are such a good idea right now, Mabel," she says.

Mabel ignores her and looks straight at me, pushing her idea. "I think it would be good for you to get back out there before you go back to work. Reacclimatise yourself with public spaces, you know? My therapist says the sooner you address trauma, the better."

"You've talked to your therapist about me?"

"No, I haven't, I promise. That's just something she's told me in the past," she assures me, and I believe her. She wouldn't make the same mistake as her brother and share information that I wanted to keep secret.

"And if you're hell bent on keeping it a secret, it would make sense to show your face at an event that most of the resort attends, so they know nothing's up." I have to admit that I like her logic.

"Will Rory be there?" I ask, then wish I could take it back by the slight way Mabel's eyes light up at my interest in her brother's whereabouts.

"Yeah, but I could definitely get him uninvited," she says, winking at me.

"Would you want to go?" I ask Hallie, turning to face her.

"If you want to go, I will be by your side," she says, ever the fiercely loyal friend. I don't know what I would do without her.

"I'll think about it," I tell Mabel, earning me a beaming smile. "That's all I ask," she says.

We step off the gondola at the top of the mountain, and Mabel leads us towards one of her favourite restaurants, which is located in one of the two cabin-style buildings up here. She has insisted on treating us to a meal out, and when I catch sight of the huge glass double doors decorated with intricate engraving, I'm grateful, because this place looks expensive.

A doorman dressed in a black suit opens the door before we can get to it and welcomes us inside. I'm glad I borrowed one of Mabel's cashmere sweaters and a pair of her Prada boots, otherwise I would have stuck out like a sore thumb. "Hi there," the hostess greets us, "do you have a reservation?"

"Yes, table for three under Mabel Miller," she replies politely.

"That's great, if you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to your table," she smiles and sets off across the restaurant, and we follow swiftly behind her as she glides between round tables with high-backed dining chairs.

The restaurant is busy, and my nerves are high as we draw a few glances from people already seated. I've never felt so jumpy around strangers before, and I know it's a direct result of New Year's Eve. Hallie is in tune to my feelings, and squeezes my hand as we reach our booth, next to a huge window overlooking the snow-covered valley.

"Wow, look at that," Hallie says, trying to relax me, and lets me take the seat next to the window. It helps, but I'm still on edge, and suddenly feel the need to have a drink to take the edge off. When the waiter comes to take our drinks order, I ask for a vodka lime and soda, and Hallie and Mabel raise their eyebrows at me but say nothing.

It's the type of place to serve three set courses, and by the time dessert rolls around, I am positively tipsy. Hallie is itching to cut me off, but I think Mabel is just happy that I seem to be enjoying myself.

"So, if I was to hypothetically arrange to get some dresses for us for the gala, what would be your colour of choice?" Mabel starts, after successfully holding back any talk of the gala for the majority of our outing.

Hallie rolls her eyes, but answers, "Emerald green for me, naturally," and I can see that the idea of attending the gala excites her. I don't want to take that away from her because of my own selfish reasons, so I decide that I'll go. Anxiety be damned. "Black for me. Keep it simple," I say, because the last thing I want to do is stand out.

"Simple is not in my vocabulary," Mabel smirks.

"Then add it, because we're going tomorrow night, and I am going to be highly inconspicuous. Feel free to wear an exotic headdress to draw attention away from me."

"How about a bright red dress?"

"That'll do," I say, smiling. "As long as it guarantees all the men in the room's attention will be on you, I'm happy."

"I think I can guarantee that for all but one man," she says, "Come on, let's get the check, I have outfits to plan."