A Season of Firsts

Chapter 27

The warning alarm blaring in my head sends me into a panic, and I manage to gasp the words, "Hallie, Mabel," and move my arms to push myself into a standing position, but Felix stops me before I can get there. He senses my panic, and soothes, "Shh, Addy, it's okay, you're with me." He strokes my bare arm, and I want to throw up.

"I've been wanting to get you alone again ever since our date," he muses, "The first kiss attempt didn't go so well." He laughs at his own joke, and the fear sets deep in my bones with the realisation that this is going to be his second attempt. His eyes lock with mine and he leans in, touching his lips with mine. It's gentle at first, but he becomes more insistent, pushing me down to lie on the sofa, and I can't move to fight back. My brain screams at my muscles to do something, anything, but they won't listen. His tongue pushes into my mouth with little resistance, and his hands roam my body, cupping my ass then dipping inside of my bra, toying with my soft nipples. I need to scream. Someone needs to help me, because I can't help myself, but no one would bat an eyelash at two young people making out in the dark corridor. You can hardly tell I'm not participating. He won't stop, he just keeps touching and grabbing, taking what isn't his.

My panic reaches a crescendo when his hand starts to slowly move down my body. I know where he's going, where his end destination is. My heart is beating in time to the fast-paced dance music, and I feel like it's going to give up on me at any moment. Whatever drug he slipped me can't stop tears of desperation rolling down my feverish cheeks. His fingertips are crawling up my thigh now, lifting up the hem of my dress, when suddenly his body is ripped from mine. His crushing weight disappears, but I still can't breathe. I can't think straight - I just need to get out. Suddenly, like a mirage, Hallie is there, helping me struggle to my feet, but I weakly slap her hand away and push past the commotion to get to the fire exit. The last thing I hear before I taste fresh air is Felix crying, "She was begging for it!"

I fall to my knees when the door slams shut behind me and throw up all the alcohol I drank tonight. I know Hallie and Mabel are going to come out after me any second, so I right myself and stumble around the corner of the brick building. I haven't found my breath yet, and tears are streaming down my face in waves.

I'm back at the entrance to the club, and there is still a queue of people trying to get in before the clock strikes midnight. I can't bear anyone looking at me, so I step off the pavement and out into the road, aiming to get away, when I hear my name being called. I ignore it and push on, my heels wobbling beneath me. I reach the pavement on the other side of the road before it catches up to me, and strong arms spin me around.

"Dela, I was calling your name! Are you trying to get yourself killed, walking out in the road like that?" Rory is here, shouting at me. Rory is here. He's angry at first, until I flinch away from his touch and he sees the state I'm currently in. "What's wrong? What happened?" the gentle inflection of his voice is the last straw, and I break down, right there on the pavement. My legs crumple under me, and he catches me before I hit the harsh concrete. I hide in his chest and try to forget the world exists. It's just me and him, Dela and Rory. Nothing bad happens in our little world that smells of cinnamon and pine cones. Until it does.

"Baby, I'm freaking out here, please tell me what happened," he begs me as he cradles me in his arms, gently stroking my hair. When I try to speak, the words are still fighting to get out, and whatever Felix gave me still hasn't worn off.

"Addy!" Hallie screams, running over to us, Mabel close behind her.

"What the fuck happened to her?" Rory asks, the anger back in his tone. I can only see the black fabric of his shirt, but I know he's looking to his sister for an explanation.

There are a few beats of silence before someone speaks. "Felix drugged Addy, and sexually assaulted her," Mabel whispers, so quiet I almost don't hear her, but I do. It's not real, this isn't happening to me. I'm always so careful to cover my drinks in public places. This shouldn't be happening. Rory's entire body tenses around me, and I forget to breathe again.

"Where were you?" Rory is seething, but his voice is also laced with heartbreak.

I can hear both Hallie and Mabel weeping, and Hallie is the one to admit, "We were at the booth, we lost her. We thought she had just gone to the toilet, but then when we called her she declined it, so we went searching, but we were too late."

"Do you know what he gave her?"

"He wouldn't say," Mabel fumes.

"We need to get her to the hospital," he says, and I cry out before he can stand up. I'm not ready to be released from the cocoon he has created for me.

"No, no, no," I slur, "No hospital." I won't be able to handle the interrogation, I know I won't. The silent judgements of what I was wearing, and everyone wondering if I really did ask for it.

Hallie crouches down next to us, "Addy, we need to find out what he gave you, please understand," she pleads. I know the only way I will win this is if I appeal to Rory. With great difficulty, and my head swimming, I lift my eyes to meet his and whisper, "Please, Rory. No hospital."

He strokes my cheek, wiping my tears away with the pad of his thumb, before looking up and meeting Mabel's eyes. There is a secret conversation going on between them, and they seem to come to an agreement when he looks back down at me and promises, "Okay, no hospital."

I'm safe. I know he won't break his word, and I relax into his chest, letting my body shut down and the world go black.