I'm With You

16

TW's:
-Mentions fight parents

Clay's POV

My mother came back again and there was immediately a bad fight at home the next morning. After I woke up, showered and grabbed one organic apple, I ran away from home to go to school. I wasn't feeling good at all and on my way to school, I had to sit down so I wouldn't faint.

Yesterday after the gym my mother was home already and prepared dinner. She purposely didn't buy anything organic causing me to yell at her. I ended up eating an orange and some lettuce, going to sleep after that.

I arrived at school and walked in, letting myself fall down on a bench. I took a deep breath and saw Sapnap walking up to me with a smile.

'Hey, lover boy. Have you kissed already, idiot?'

'No, I haven't. Shut up.' My face heated up and I rolled my eyes at him as he sat down.

'Aww, your face turns so red as soon as I talk about him.'

I sighed and leaned back against the wall as I thought about George. I had constantly been thinking about my hands on his body and our lips almost so close that we could press them together and share a passionate kiss.

My thoughts completely wandered off to George and I kissing and I got startled by Sapnap hitting my shoulder softly. 'Thinking about George? Do you have a picture of him?'

I grabbed my phone and showed him his profile picture with a smile on my face.

'That's a handsome guy, when are you going to introduce me to your future boyfriend.'

I blushed and looked away. 'He's not my future boyfriend. I don't even know if he likes boys as well.'

Sapnap smiled and grabbed my hand. 'Clay, it's actually fine that you like boys. I feel like you're scared that it's not okay.'

I shrugged. 'It just scares me to be in love for the first time and then also with a boy. I've never even felt loved by someone the way that I love George.'

'What do you mean?'

I shrugged as I felt tears fill up my eyes. 'It just sucks at home,' I muttered. 'It just sucks.'

'What's going on, Clay?'

I looked at him and felt a tear roll down my face as I stood up. 'My parents love arguing and alcohol,' I mumbled as I turned around to walk away.

Sapnap knew he had to leave me alone for a little and I went to my locker, just to sit down on a bench. I just wished my life wouldn't be this messed up. I felt really weak all the time, my parents constantly argued and my mother was addicted to alcohol. On top of that I was also gay and I had no idea how I was ever going to come out to anyone but Sapnap. It felt terrifying to me, coming out to people.

I sighed softly as I suddenly heard footsteps coming closer. I looked up at some girl I never saw before and frowned.

'Hey, Clay.'

I nodded slowly at her. 'Hi?'

'Hi, I just wanted to talk to you,' she said with a smile.

'Uh- hi.'

'How are you?'

'I'm okay?' I muttered awkwardly.

'I had a question,' she said as she laughed too exaggeratedly.

'Yeah, go ahead.'

'Are you interested in a relationship with a girl?'

'Why?' I felt my face heat up as I realised everyone thought I was straight.

'You're just so popular, but you've never had a girl. I wanted to know if you're interested in starting one soon?'

'Not really,' I whispered as I started scratching my skin.

'Why not?'

'Personal reasons, can you leave it like that?'

'What personal reasons?'

'I said that it's personal, so I'm not going to tell you what it is.'

'Are you even attracted to girls?' the girl asked as she laid her hand down on my leg, way too close to where I absolutely didn't want to be touched. I scooted away and pulled my knees up as she looked at me.

'Are you gay?'

I felt my chest getting a bit tight because of the nerves rushing through my body. I had to sound genuine, she wasn't supposed to know that I was actually gay. Even if she wouldn't be homophobic, the news of me being gay would spread through the whole school within a day.

'N-no,' I muttered, clearing my throat as I straightened my posture. 'No.'

'I mean, being gay is fine, but it would be quite a shame if such a handsome guy would be gay.'

I was biting the inside of my cheek and stood up without saying anything. I started walking back to Sapnap as I felt a tear rolling down my face again. I sat down next to Sapnap and leaned against the wall as I pulled my knees up.

'What's up, dude?' Sapnap asked me as he saw a few tears stream down my face.

I ignored him and stared at my hands as I kept repeating the sentence she said over and over again. "It would be quite a shame if such a handsome guy would be gay."

It made me so upset that I bursted out into tears as Sapnap pulled me closer to him. He held me tightly in his arms as he just let me cry for a few minutes.

My body was shaking because of how loudly I was sobbing and Sapnap smiled comfortingly as he pulled away. 'What's wrong, Clay?'

'T-this girl w-was mean a-and-,' I tried to say. 'S-she a-asked me i-if I w-was gay and s-said it w-would b-be a s-shame if I w-was.'

'Don't listen to her, Clay. It's not a shame to be gay, it's totally fine. She's just in love with you and sad that she won't be able to get you.'

I nodded slowly as I grabbed a napkin to blow my nose and wipe my tears with. 'Thank you for being such a great friend, Sap.'

'Of course.'

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