Marked

Chapter 6: Hurt

I half-expected Kane to come charging after me and create a scene but it didn't happen. I went to another meeting which thankfully, he wasn't a part of. There was too much going on to read that report and as much as it ate at me, I had to leave it in my bag and focus on the meetings. Gamma first and foremost. I hated how many times I had to remind myself of that today.

The meetings lasted all day and Renzo tried to talk to me but I needed to stay focused so I ignored him and he eventually got the hint. The last meeting ended and we got the hell out of there. They had dinner for us but I was not in the mood to run into my mate, no matter how much I already missed his presence. So I talked Cassie and Renzo into going somewhere else to eat.

I was angrily stabbing at my food and the two of them were uncharacteristically quiet. Normally, I couldn't get Renzo to shut up. But right now, they were both silent. Their occasional nervous glances didn't go unnoticed.

"What?" I finally snapped. "Sorry," I muttered quickly afterwards. It wasn't their fault I was in such a difficult place and I shouldn't be snapping at them. I was just so fucking overwhelmed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cassie asked, reaching over and setting her hand on mine.

"What's there to talk about? He's a murderer," I said, swallowing hard.

"I'm sure there's more to it than that," she encouraged, squeezing my hand. "You don't know the context. You should let him explain."

"He had a chance to explain and didn't," I pointed out. "That speaks volumes. If it wasn't as bad as its portrayed, why wouldn't he just tell me?"

"I don't know," Cassie admitted. "Did you look at the report?"

Oh yes, Cassie knew I got that report. Not just because of Renzo, but because the news of a Gamma standing up to the most feared Alpha spread through that building like wildfire. I couldn't go anywhere for the rest of the day without people sending me curious or pitiful glances. I could only hope that news wouldn't make it back to Addie and Xander. I was sure Kane was getting the same responses and if I learned anything about him so far, I had a feeling he was just getting angrier with me by the second.

That shouldn't hurt me as much as it did. Despite his acting like an asshole, despite all the scandal surrounding him, I desperately wanted him. I wanted to believe there was something else in there. I wanted to feel him pressed again me, I wanted to feel his lips again. I wanted my mate. I could feel the beginning of tears and breathed in deeply to control myself. I wouldn't cry. Not over him. I wouldn't give him that power.

Cassie and Renzo tried lighter topics to distract me but I could barely hear them. The only good news was Cassie was meeting a fae for drinks and had a meeting with a witch the next day that seemed promising. I clung to that to make myself get through dinner.

I went back to the hotel and laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Everything was such a mess. Our pack was so strong until Addie got pregnant. It should've been a happy thing and it was, at first. But she just grew sicker every day, weaker every day. Her weakened condition affected us all but Xander the most. The both of them weakened meant our pack was weakened. We were trying to hold it together but it was the first time in a long time we felt vulnerable. Thank Goddess for our allies.

As if that wasn't enough, now I had Kane to deal with. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing his, almost black. Were they like that because he had no soul? Or did I just need to go find it? I wanted to believe there was more. But I finally read that damn report and it was incredibly vague. There wasn't any real information in it and that pissed me off. The Elders should be doing a better job of monitoring him. It made me wonder if he had something over them besides his intimidation because they normally had no problem butting into an issue to a creepy degree, why were they letting him off the hook?