The Boss and The Equipper

Chapter 36- NIGHTMARES

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It would be wrong to say that Fin wasn't curious and intrigued to know about Oli's notions regarding Johbin's hideout, but she was mentally exhausted. It took a lot of emotional toll on her to tell her backstory than she anticipated. Oli gave her a firm nod and she understood what he meant. He wanted her to take a rest. And yes she definitely needed that.  

It was almost seven o'clock in the evening and the boys were in one of the security rooms for the past hour and Fin had no idea what they were discussing. She was in the break room with Mieola and Pearl was in one of the guest rooms, watching t.v.

Mieola now knew about Fin's parents' demise but the rest of the story wasn't known to her nor did she ask Fin about it. She knew Fin would tell her herself once she would feel like talking about it.

"I'm going to ask Oliandroin out once this shit is cleaned up," Fin spoke casually with her eyes stuck on the painting on the wall.

Mieola choked on her saliva and her mobile dropped from her hands. "WHAT!"

Yes," Fin spoke calmly.

"But- how- what- Wait. I thought you both were dating?" Mieola asked, trying to recover from the shock. Fin planning to ask a guy out? Fin planning to date a guy? It sounded no less than a miracle to Mieola.

"No, we aren't dating. I mean yes we did kiss each other. Two times to be exact. But neither we discussed it nor he asked me out on a date or something. But I know that he likes me. He seriously does. He won't say it but I can clearly see that in his actions. The way he cares for me..and for Pearl. It's crystal clear to me what feeling he holds for me," Fin spoke with softness in her tone as Oli's image popped up in her head.

Before Miela could yell happily over the fact that the two of them kissed, Fin spoke up, "He cried for me. Do you know that? He cried for me. No one has ever cried for me. It's not that I feel happy when he cries but the fact that such a brooding boy cried for my pain makes me so...so...it makes me feel loved. It makes me feel like I matter to someone. That I matter to him."

Mieola could sense the satisfaction and happiness in Fin's voice and she didn't interrupt her. She understood that she was holding all these emotions inside of her for too long and now she wanted to let them out. Now she wanted to share her thoughts with someone. So she let her speak and listened silently.

"They are back," Fin spoke meekly and sniffed as her eyes watered.

Mieola grew tense and before she could ask what or who is back, Fin spoke.

"My nightmares. Every night till two weeks after my family's death, I had that same nightmare over and over again where I used to see my father getting repetitively stabbed by Johbin. I could hear my mother's cries of fear and pain whenever I used to close my eyes in the hope that sleep would consume me. Nightmares stopped suddenly when the instinct of survival kicked in and I had to leave my hometown Hykins. Past six months my entire focus was on keeping Pearl safe. I was constantly changing city after city, town after town. My mind was never relaxed. It was filled with fear of losing Pearl, the only family I am left with. But since Yiliak is caught and my system no more worries about survival because I know I'm safe with Oliandrin...because I know he will keep me and my daughter safe...my grief has returned. It has overtaken my mind and my heart. I never got a fair amount of time to cry over the death of my parents and now it's haunting me. My sorrow, my pain, my nightmares...everything is haunting me," Fin harshly wiped away her tears and sobbed loudly.

"Fin..." Mieola's voice shook with sadness as she hugged Fin and rubbed her back. "Does Oliandrin knows about this? About your nightmares?" She asked gingerly.