Love Me in Spite - [Aaron Hotchner x Reader]

Chapter 9: Your Heart Grows Every Time It Breaks

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Caroline Davidson (OC), Jonas (OC), Paul (OC), Arthur (OC), Haley Brooks, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

Words: 3K

Chapter Summary: Hotch comes to check up on you and you have a candid talk about your argument the previous day

Warnings: none

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Hotch finished up with the team brief and as promised, made his way back to the interrogation room to check on you.

When he came inside, you were sitting on the floor with your back against the wall, the cut on your neck cleaned and bandaged and an unused cold pack on the table.

"That's an odd place to take a seat," he noted and you shrugged.

"The chair was getting uncomfortable," you admitted. "Come, sit," you patted the empty spot next to you and he hesitated a moment before he took off his suit jacket and draped it over the chair and took a seat next to you on the ground. "If your boss knew about this case do you think they'd be mad?" you asked.

"Probably, I think she hates me," he nodded. "But it doesn't matter,"

There was a short silence between you two before he spoke up again.

"I called your family before word got out," he said. "We tried to keep it out of the media, but you know people gossip as much as they breathe here,"

"Yeah, thank you for that," you said. "How are they? I haven't heard from them yet,"

"They're fine, worried, but fine," he explained.

You turned your head to look at him, his eyes said words you couldn't read, you needed him to spit it out, be straight with you, say what was going on.

"You want to say something," you said. "Come on, Aaron, what is it?"

"The argument we had," he confessed. "I can't... I just really need you to trust me on this one,"

You looked down at your hands, thumbs tracing circles around your knee.

"And I'm sorry for yelling," he added.

"No, you're not," you turned to look at him, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"Yeah, you're right I'm not," he nodded, his own lips quirking upwards.

Silence fell between you two, a part of you wanted to speak up, but you didn't know how to say what you wanted to. How could you admit you were scared? What could you say that could explain all these things you were feeling?

But through the silence, you felt a hand on your leg and a small squeeze that seemed to have you spilling secrets like water coming out of a wet towel being wrung.

"Aaron I'm scared," the words were almost caught in your throat. "I'm scared I'm not going to be able to see Maria, or Noah, or Sophia, or my dad again," you admitted. "I'm scared that whatever happened, whatever is happening, is going to blow up in my face whether I did it or not," you took in a shaky breath. "I'm scared this is going to be the time I let you down,"

Hotch looked down at you, genuinely concerned with your revelation.

"Let me down? (Y/N) how could you let me down?"

"This feels like something that would let down a normal person," you gestured in front of you to the interrogation room.

"Well I'm not a normal person," he said simply. "Sometimes," he paused like he was mulling over if he should actually say what he was thinking. "Sometimes I wish you could see yourself the way your family sees you,"