Mcyt angst

Addiction

Cigarettes... My only downfall, once I started I just never learned how to stop, over the weeks I began to smoke more and more each day. I relied on nicotine to give me the rush that I needed to get through my day. Each puff ensnared my mind easing my troubles, it was freeing in a way.
I just hate the fact that I have to hide it, the thought of my parents or Wilbur finding out was too risky, I couldn't imagine how they'd react. I suppose at some point they'll find out on thier own after all I'm not that discrete, I practically always smell like smoke now, which I blame on my friends but it's not long before they start to believe that I'm doing it too.
Each night the need for nicotine increases, as I make my way through my bedroom window and onto the closed off balcony, admiring the city lights and vibrant signs, taking a drag of smoke each time. But the night always had to pass and I'm back to hiding the stench yet again, leaving most my clothes out on the balcony and walking to the shower hoping to relave my body of the ashy smell. Just like last night and the night before that. It had become my life support, needing it to just get through the day and night...

~time skip~

I made my way into the alleyway behind my school in an attempt to hide my habit, my only chance to do it in the open each day. As I took a drag of a ciggie my phone began to vibrate - Wilbur was calling me. I was quick to hide the cigarette as I accepted the call my ears picking up the sounds of speeding cars and busy city streets in the background.
Wilbur lived in London of course whereas I lived in Nottingham, we bacame friends a year ago and began streaming together and created a whole community, by the time I was 16 I had millions of followers and now here I am. Only a few months later, with him being my closest friend, yet I don't have the courage to tell him or to even acknowledge that I had a problem. Wilbur was oblivious of course and began speaking of a few of friends who lived in the UK aswell, them being - Jack, Niki, tubbo, Phil and rhianna.

I turned my camera to the side as I took another puff tilting it so he couldn't see the smoke emmiting from my mouth. He began by talking about a meet up happening in a week, a small camping trip with all the birtish folk of the smp. I was extatic to say the least, I got to meet up with my closest friends. Wilbur began to talk about the more boring stuff like: how long it would be for, how I needed to ask my parents before I fully agreed and the things I would need to pack.

~time skip~

I was too busy getting over exited for the meet up the thought slipped my mind about my addiction, now 1 day before the meetup and I'm wracking my brain for ways I can hide it, I had nobody to blame the smell on, no reason to go off into the woods alone and no way of hiding them without the others seeing.
I was panicking to say the least, each minute without a ciggie in my mouth I grew panicked as the clock counted to the hours.
Tic. Tic. Tic.
My mind racing for any thoughts of what to do, slowly refocusing on the real world to find the sun erupting through my curtains, I had been up all night worrying that I had forgot to fall asleep.

Wilbur was only minutes away as the small notification popped up on my screen telling me he was in my area, banging at my brain for ideas I just shoved a packet of cigarettes down my trousers and ran out the front door ignoring the goodbyes from my parents.
Since the night completely faded I had been preparing myself for all scenarios, attempting to create false reality as I washed away the stench of smoke in the shower a couple hirus earlier. By this point Wilbur was sat right next to me as we spoke quite conversations, anxiously waiting until we got to the campsite.
Wilbur had since picked up tubbo and Jack manifold before turning on a Hamilton sound track as they all blasted each other ears off with their awful singing. Only a few hours later they had arrived to be greeted by Niki, Phil and Rhianna who had met each other earlier that day.

~time skip~

So far the camping trip has gone well, it's almost nightfall as we lit the fire the smoke almost seemed to seep into my lungs taunting me, sweat dropping down my forehead, my nails digging into my thighs,
I needed them.
I needed my cigarettes.

I left without a peep ignoring the confused glances and creepy sounds of the night, heading deep into he forest with my lighter and a pack of addiction. The small flame from my lighter, burning the ends, fueling the fire to my lungs.
I drew in a breath captivating the smoke into my lungs letting it linger before exhaling, the greed simply leaving my mind for the sweet taste and burn in my lungs. I watched the smoke float away following a trail leading back to something in the woods, a figure of some sort that I had made out to be a large tree trunk. Yet when I looked away and drew another breathe of smoke the figure  walked up closer out of my eyeline, far enough that I didn't even see him move, the figured seemed disturbed by what the younger was doing, it was Wilbur...

Wilburs pov
Tommy had walked off in a confused dazed faze It hadn't bothered me until I remembered that we are in the middle of nowhere and I wouldn't want him to get lost, afted the other offering to go off and find him I ended up just following his footsteps causing the bickering to quieten down.
The further away from the campsite I was, the smell of smoke lingured even as I was going further away from the fire, before I could wrap my head around why, I had saw a puff off smoke a few meters away emitted by a tall blonde kid...
It was Tommy.

I watched as he looked in my direction as I stood still my brown coat disguising me amongst the trees while I tried to get a better look.
He was smoking, the Tommy innit, a kid I knew as a goody two-shoes was destroying his lungs by a seemingly addition judging by the look of relief on his face, Tommy was young why? how? does he do this. Before another thought crossed my mind I zoned back into he world to the string smell of smoke and Tommys glowing eyes staring directly into mine.

"Wilbur I can explain...."