Falling-Prequel

Funk

S1x21~ FUNK
•••••
Rachel had called the rest of the New Directions into the auditorium. Their mood decreased when they saw that their stage was being used by none other than Jesse St. James and the Vocal Adrenaline team. They were all dressed in blue jackets, and clearly his loyalty and commitment lay with the opposing team, not New Directions. It couldn't be clearer.

"Jesse?" Rachel frowned, seeing her boyfriend on the stage. "What are you doing up there with them?"

"I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accept me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas."

"Why are you here in the auditorium?"

"The blogs and the chat rooms say that we're finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment."

{ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST-SUNG BY JESSE ST. JAMES W/VOCAL ADRENALINE}

"Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium guys. It's quaint." One of the Vocal Adrenaline girls smirked, seeing everyone's sad and depressed faces. The team left the stage, as Jesse took a minute to look at Rachel who still wore a frown on her face.

"Jesse St Assface." Haley commented, as the group stood there knowing very well that they were losing their chance at winning Regionals.
-------
Apparently while the New Directions had been in shock in the auditorium, Vocal Adrenaline had trashed their whole choir room. The group got to work and began cleaning everything up.

"God I thought those rascals would've been caught." Haley muttered.

"What happened?" Mr. Schue gasped, walking into the room.

"It's a Carmel High tradition. They psyche out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it funkification. Meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep black funk." Artie explained.

"Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them." Finn spoke up.

"Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden." Puck said.

"Come on, keep your heads up, guys." Mr. Schue said, attempting to keep the group motivated. "It's going to take more than that to get us into a funk."

"I feel so violated...it's like someone broke into our home." Tina commented sadly.

"Look, it was just a lame little prank. And the fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked." Mr. Schue said.

"Uh, hell no, Mr. Schue." Haley shook her head, as she opened her trash bag, letting Finn and Kurt throw toilet paper away. "That number they did was fantastic."

"You know, which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?"

"I gave 'em all the keys." Sue smirked, walking into the room as everyone turned to her confused. "Helped them do a sound check over the weekend."

The cheerleading coach directed some guys who had walked into the room with sledgehammers. "Hey, this way, fellas." She pointed to a wall. "Let's punch out this wall here. That'll open up the space a bit."

"Sue, what are you doing?" Their teacher demanded.

"I can't talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room for in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland." She said to the guys who were with her. "Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying."

"Sue, get out of my room." Mr. Schue said.

"Glee Clubbers, for those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Accutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that?" Sue asked, looking at the New Directions. "Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you're 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed."

"Sue, can I see your trophy?" Mr. Schue asked, clearly annoyed with her attitude. She handed him the trophy.

"Sure, Will."

Everyone was shocked when Mr. Schue threw the trophy against the wall, causing it to shatter, quite easily. Haley had to cover up her mouth from laughing, however she felt Brittany giggling into her shoulder.

"You dropped your trophy, Sue." Mr. Schue smirked at the coach who shrugged.

"You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine."

"Screw you." Haley called after her.
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"Funk." Mr. Schue announced "Use it in a sentence." He turned to look at the group who wore sad faces. "Come on. Rachel."

"This cheese smells funky." Rachel rolled her eyes. It was clear that the brunette was still upset over her boyfriend.

"That's just because it's from-unda cheese." Puck said, trying to crack a joke.

"Shut it, Puckerman!"

"Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of...Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk." Mr. Schue explained.

"I'm so depressed, I've worn the same outfit twice this week." Kurt mumbled rhetorically.

"I didn't shower at all this week." Brittany whispered to Haley who shrugged.

"What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are going to get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. It's passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into.... Funky town!" Mr. Schue said, as Haley rolled her eyes. However, she noticed Quinn being interestingly invested in the assignment.

"You guys can relax. I got this one covered." Mercedes said with a smirk.

"Cool."

Quinn interjected before Mr. Shue could continue. "Hold on a second. I-I want a chance to get funky too." She said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Good one, Quinn." Mercedes said with a laugh. "It even sounds funny when you say it."

"You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both." She rolled her eyes. "Look at me. Look at my life. I'm furious." Quinn exclaimed.
"Let's be honest. When white people try to be funky, you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band." Mercedes argued.

"I love Boogie Shoes." Artie said with a shrug.

"Mercede's racism, I will have something prepared tomorrow." Quinn said.

"Alright, Quinn goes first."
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"Okay, Quinn, it's your day to show us your funky side." Mr. Schue said the next day. "So, take it away."

Quinn shook her head and stood from her seat, walking towards the middle of the room where a microphone had been placed.

"For some of us just simply getting to class takes a little longer. When you're pregnant, you're responsible for two lives. And you're walking down the hallway oppressed by the man." Quinn said.

"Oh, my goodness, she is not about to go there." Mercedes muttered unamused.

"Let her speak." Haley whispered-yelled at Mercedes.

"Hearing people call you fat. Sometimes it's hurt." Quinn said stomping her foot on the floor, releasing all her anger from the past months. "Sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say no."

"Who are those girls?" Artie asked as a group of young pregnant women walked into the room.

"We're the Unwed Mothership Connection." Quinn answered, as the band began to play the chords to It's a Man's, Man's World. "And that's what we're here to sing about."
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"Mr. Schue, Puck and I would like to show the class the true meaning of funk." Finn said. "With a little help from our special guest Mercedes."

"Fasten your seat belts, people." Puck said with a smirk, as everyone applauded. "It's going to be a funky ride."

Haley smiled as the trio performed Good Vibrations. Each of them enjoying themselves as they sang and danced around the room together. Everyone clapped when they finished.

"Alright. Great job guys, but that's not funk. I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but that is a rap song. A kick-butt old school rap song."

"Does it really matter, Mr. Schue?" Artie asked. "We're so clinically depressed, we're doign the wrong songs. We're in a deeper funk than ever."
------
Haley and Quinn sat in the library together. Quinn was studying, while Haley was taking a break and was on the phone with her mom speaking rather harsh Ukranian, and switching to Spanish occasionally.

"You know, I forget that your Ukranian and Columbian sometimes." Quinn muttered as Haley hung her phone up.

"Well I am." Haley shrugged. "Plus I'm also Russian, but my mom doesn't speak fluent Russian, my dad does. Thank god I'm fluent in all three...but I speak English whenever I'm not at home. My family speaks it at home too...barely."

Mercedes walked towards them and pulled out a chair across from the two girls. As soon as she sat down, they turned their attention to her.

"Mercedes, I'm so sorry." Quinn said in a sincere tone, while Mercedes smiled.

"You may not be a minority, but you certainly get how it feels sometimes." Mercedes said with a shrug.

"For nine months. You've had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names. I seriously can't understand why you don't feel like yelling at people all the time." Quinn exclaimed.

"What's the point in getting angry?" Mercedes asked, a slight chuckle visible in her voice.

"Because it's infuriating. I hate all the looks at school. And I mean, Haley, and everyone in Glee Club really help me. But, I mean... And don't even get me started on Puck's mom." Quinn said, causing Haley and Mercedes to laugh quietly.

"You're not angry. You're hurt. You just need someplace safe where you can dig through all that rage. Get to the pain beneath it."

"That's fair. So it's decided. Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me." Mercedes said. "I already talked to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room."

"Mercedes."

"It's cool. Us sisters gotta stick together, right?" Mercedes asked, as Quinn and Haley laughed along with her.
------
"Oh this is bull! Finn, Mike, Mat, come with me." Puck spat getting up from his chair, as soon as Rachel had finished explaining how Jesse had brought Vocal Adrenaline with him. He had asked Rachel to come to the parking lot, and they threw eggs at her.

"Right on." Finn said, as the boys stood up. "It's time for less talking and moreo punching."

"Hey, what's going on?" Mr. Schue asked, walking into the choir room.

"We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline." Finn answered, as their teacher shook his head.

"Guys, violence is never the answer."

"It is when the question is what's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?"

"Mr. Schue, Rachel's one of us. We're the only one who get to humiliate her." Puck explained.

"Stop!" Mr. Schue exclaimed as the boys stopped. "Get back here and sit down! Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. You're all amazing, no matter what vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves."

"We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelette." Puck protested, refusing to give up the argument.

"Wait, we can eat her?" Brittany amused, as Santana and Haley shook their heads.

"We're not. Rachel. Dial Jesse's number on your phone." Mr. Schue instructed.

"You haven't deleted his number yet?" Santana asked as Rachel dialed his number.

"Jesse St. James?" Mr. Schue asked, after he had grabbed the phone from Rachel. "Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp." With that being done, he handed the phone back to Rachel before turning and smirking at the group.

"We're gonna show them how real funk is done." Mr. Schue said.
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Rachel stood on stage in front of Vocal Adrenaline who sat in the audience. "After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we are willing to put to rest. We decided the only way to truly "funkify" you is to show you the one thing we know you can't do. So enjoy."

{GIVE UP THE FUNK-SUNG BY THE NEW DIRECTIONS}

"They did a funk number. We've never been able to pull off a funk number."

"Well, that's because we're soulless automatons."

"I'm so depressed."
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Ah! We're coming to the end of the prequel! I've had a blast writing and integrating Haley's story with the Season 1 plot line.