Falling-Prequel

Theatricality

S1x20~THEATRICALITY
•••••
"It's weird." Artie commented as he looked at Tina in unusual clothing, far from her usual attire.

Principal Figgins had a so-called problem with goth style, which would explain her baggy clothes she dug out from the lost and found. That being said, the group was trying to come up with solutions to this whole problem.

"This isn't you." Finn added, agreeing with Artie.

"I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian." Tina said with a sigh.

"Tina, are there any looks you can try?' Mr. Schue asked.

"Biker chick?" Santana suggested, as Tina gave her a thumbs down.

"Cowgirl?" Finn asked.

"Hood rat." Mercedes attempted to help.

"Computer programmer?' Quinn asked.

"Cross-country skier." Haley offered.

"Catholic school girl." Puck said.

"Happy Meal, no onions." Brittany said, causing everyone to frown at her. "Or a chicken."

"Look, I appreciate it, guys, but it just isn't me." Tina said. "I know who I am, and I'm not allowed to show it. It's like communism."

All of a sudden Rachel Berry stormed into the choir room, as everyone turned their attention to the brunette.

"Guys, we have a serious problem." Rachel said. "You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?"

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asked.

"No, not at all." Rachel said, as everyone sent her unconvinced expressions. "Or probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out: I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights."

"Oh no." Tina said with a gasp.

"Which let me to Joelle Fabrics." Rachel continued. "I asked them about red Chantilly lace. They were sold out."

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Mercedes mumbled under her breath.

"Oh, my." Kurt said.

"Wait, what?" Mr. Schue asked confused.

"They're doing Gaga." Kurt answered, as Mercedes sighed, rather dramatically.

"That's it. It's over." Mercedes whimpered.

"Exactly." Rachel shook her head.

"We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them." Kurt sighed.

"What's up with this Gaga due?" Puck asked, causing the girls to look at him.

"Offensive." Haley muttered, crossing her arms.

"He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?" Puck continued.

"Lady Gaga is a woman." Kurt corrected in a rather aggressive tone. "She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing, the most theatrical performer of our generation. And she changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners."

"That's true." Brittany agreed, unoffended.

"It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage. It's a brilliant move." Artie said with a shrug. "She's a perfect fit for them."

"Hold on a second. We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here." Mr. Schue said, an idea forming in his head. "We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for Regionals." He said writing on the board in big letters, the assignment for the week, Gaga. "This week, your assignment: Gaga."

"Yes!" Haley clapped happily, as all the other girls began to praise the ideas, Kurt behind them in enthusiasm. The other boys didn't seem pleased with the assignment, nor were they interested.
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Haley, Mercedes, Quinn and Rachel were spying on Vocal Adrenaline. The annoying brunette had somehow convinced the girls to come with her. They had driven to Carmel High together, and had snuck into the auditorium, watching in shock as Vocal Adrenaline rehearsed in costumes. They're inspiration, Gaga.

"And claw, claw, uh, clap, clap. And five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four..."

"Think they can see us?" Mercedes whispered as the girls sat down watching the rehearsal.

"If they catch us, are we gonna have to go to jail?" Quinn asked aloud, as Haley sent her a questioning look.

"Stealing their ideas is not a crime." Rachel whispered, as she watched the Vocal Adrenaline coach. "They look amazing."

"Claw, claw, uh, clap, clap. And five, six-uh, uh.... Okay, okay, okay, just... Enough." The coach yelled, as she cut off the music, causing the group to stop dancing. She stood up and walked to the stage. "You guys aren't getting it. You're letting the costumes do all the work. Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits. It's not enough to douse yourselves with gasoline. You have to light yourselves on fire to make it work."

"God, she's good." Rachel muttered.

"But being theatrical doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like, like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion, express what's deep inside you. That's what theatricality is truly about. Do I have to demonstrate?" The woman asked, as the kids made their way to the audience. "Funny Girl, E flat."

"Exactly what I would have done: Barbara." Rachel whispered, getting into Haley's personal space. "I could do it in my sleep."

"I could do several Broadway musicals in my sleep, dwarf. Get out of my personal space, you're not only grossing out Quinn's baby, but me." Haley spat back, as Rachel slumped in her seat. Mercedes and Quinn chuckled.

Rachel stood up suddenly, and began making her way to the stage. Haley nudged Mercedes who spoke up.

"Where are you going?" Mercedes whisper yelled.

"Berry! You're going to get us in trouble. Although it's your fault!" Haley whispered harshly.

"Get back here!" Quinn called after the brunette, but their pleas were useless. The three girls exchanged worried glances as Rachel stopped at the edge of the stage.

"Ms. Corcoran?" Rachel called, as the vocal coach stared at her surprised. "I'm Rachel Berry, I'm your daughter."

"What the hell?" Haley mumbled.

"Did she just say...what I think she said?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah..." Quinn sighed, as the three girls got up and left the building giving Rachel and her so-called mom, the privacy they needed.
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"Little monsters, take a bow." Mr. Schue said with a smile, as half of the club actually showed up wearing their costumes.

The girls and Kurt posed, making faces, as their teacher laughed with the other boys sat silently, very bored with the given assignment.

"Alright! Ladies, Kurt, I am really, really impressed. Sientete. You know, you know what the best part is? Each of those costumes shows off a different aspect of your personalities." Mr. Schue continued as they sat down.

"Wait. Where's Rachel? I mean, I only noticed because, like five minutes have gone by without her saying something totally obnoxious." Puck spoke up.

"Rachel kinda got some intense news yesterday." Haley began.

"We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline..." Quinn began, as their teacher frowned cutting her off.

"You guys, that's not fair!" Mr. Schue reprimanded. "You gotta stop doing that. But, do you know, what, what'd you find out?"

"First off it was Rachel's idea." Haley muttered.

"Y'all aren't ready for this one." Mercedes continued for Haley who smirked.

"Miss Corcoran, their coach? She's Rachel's mom." Haley said.

"Are you serious?" Mr. Schue asked surprised.

"Way to bury the lead, Haley." Artie said, as Haley sent him a glare.

"We're screwed. Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline." Puck said aloud.

As if summoned, Rachel walked into the room, dressed up in about twenty stuffed animals. She pouted walking up to stand beside Mr. Schue.