Falling-Prequel

Mattress

A/N: a favourite of mine. Enjoy!
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S1x12~MATTRESS
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"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked, as the group, excluding the brunette, gathered around the piano.

"She's not here yet." Finn shook his head.

Kurt began speaking lowly, as he leaned forward. "Perfect. Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushy in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies..."

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes asked, confused.

"It's when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies." Finn answered.

"I swear I saw you being hoisted up a few weeks ago." Haley said, as Finn shrugged.

Artie spoke up. "Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Everyone turned to face him, looking shocked.

"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of ant-glee-club terror. I've done a little library research, with help from Haley." Kurt spoke, as Haley nodded pulling open a Yearbook.

"Peter Gellar. Glee Club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library." Haley explained, as everyone looked at the marked page.

"Patches?" Quinn asked.

"Patches." Kurt clarified in response, as Quinn gasped.

"He creeps me out, not going to lie." Haley said emotionless.

Kurt opened another yearbook. "Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson, Glee Club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years would prove eerily prescient." He said, as he pulled yet another yearbook out. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."

Before anyone could argue or respond, Mr. Schue walked into the room wearing a smile. "Hi everyone. Looking at old Thunderclaps?"

"It's really unsettling." Artie commented.

"And completely unfair. Hey, can I borrow one of these? You know what? This year's thunderclap is going to have a Glee Club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it." Mr. Schue smiled, as he left with a Yearbook in his hands. None of the group members wanted to be featured in the book, in fear of being mocked even more than they already were.
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The New Directions sat in the choir room as Mr. Schue entered, announcing that they got a photo in the yearbook. Rachel was the only one who was overly excited, while everyone else wore unimpressed expressions.

" We're here. We should vote." Mercedes said.

Rachel smiled walking to the front. "With your permission, I have prepared a few words."

Mercedes interjected her before she could make a speech. "I called Rachel."

Kurt nodded. "Me too."

"Me three. I think it will be good for her." Haley smirked knowing that she wasn't even participating in the photo, however, she could still find a way for Berry to be disappointed, right?

"Alright, let's vote up in this piece." Puck said, as everyone wrote down their votes. "I gotta go hit the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone for the football picture."

Mr. Schue frowned, looking a little disappointed. "It seems that you all voted for Rachel. Including Rachel. But we need two captains, guys."

Quinn: Why two? We're fine with having Rachel represent us in the Thunderclap by herself." Everyone nodded in agreement, as Mr. Schue sighed. Rachel smiled brightly, unaware of the group's agreement they'd made behind her back earlier that week.