The Enchanter and The Lion

Chapter 23 - Nightmares

Cracked, glowing, red lined eyes burned at Maeve from all around. Their metallic, wrong voices echoed in her ears 'How could you let this happen?' 'You failed' 'You're nothing but a mistake.' She tried to move, to run from them, but was waist deep in something thicker than water. She looked down at the pool of blood she was standing in. She mouthed the word 'No' but couldn't form the sounds as a hand closed around her throat and Cullen's face came into view floating up from the blood. The eyes were cold and dead. She screamed.

Her eyes flew open in her bedroll, sweat drenching her forehead, as she choked back a real scream into a muffled gasp. Rylen's eyes met hers from where he was keeping watch across the camp. She sighed and got up to join him, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders. It wasn't like she was going to get back to sleep tonight anyway.

"Ye've been having a rough night of it, lass," Rylen said. "Want t' talk 'bout it?" She just shook her head and instead asked him to tell some stories to distract her. They passed the time until his watch was over and then she returned to her bedroll and laid there staring at the sky until dawn broke across it. 

Each night of the four-day journey to Haven was much the same. She had tried the First Enchanter's mediation methods and various teas and herbs, but the dreams wouldn't leave her.  She rode at the front of the company to avoid talking to anyone and disappeared into the woods when they made camp to practice her staff work, spells, and trying to summon the spirit blade. She had to be ready. She couldn't...wouldn't let that future happen.  

Bull found her attempting a sustained lightning spell on a rock the last night before they reached Haven. Her teeth were clenched and sweat beaded her brow, but she channeled more. The rock cracked under the pressure just as her nose started bleeding and she had to release the spell. 

"Nice one, Boss," Bull said leaning against a tree behind her. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and grunted. "You know Dorian told us what happened to you both, right." 

She straightened under his gaze. "I figured. And it's good. You all know what's at stake if I'm not strong enough to do this." 

Bull walked up to her, "Yeah, except if you keep pushing yourself like this you'll be so exhausted that you're setting yourself up to fail." 

"I know," she said, hanging her head, "but I can't sleep without seeing every horrific thing that happens to everyone I care about, so I might as well keep busy." 

"I hear ya, Boss," he said, turning to head back to camp. "Just know that all those people that you care about, they care about you, too, and are here for you."

---------

She, Cassandra and Dorian walked into the council room. Cullen immediately noted the bags under her eyes and the slight stoop to her shoulders. Maker, she's exhausted, he thought and vowed to keep the meeting as brief as possible.

"The Templar officers have been alerted to the incoming mages, as requested," he opened up. "It was a well-done compromise." 

She smiled slightly, but wouldn't meet his eyes, "Thank you." She rubbed her temples briefly before continuing, "There are going to be less savory elements among them, I'm sure, but the Templar need to know they act with the authority of the Inquisition, not the Chantry. Which means all decisions on punishments go through the people in this room...minus you, Dorian. No offense, of course." He shook his head indicating he took none. All other heads in the room nodded approval at her decision. 

She let Dorian take over to report on what had happened at Redcliffe. Cullen watched her grow paler and more tense as the man went on and his brow creased with worry. When Dorian finished, he turned to leave, squeezing Maeve's shoulder and giving her a small smile as she gripped his arm briefly in return.