Your not bored? No I will never get bored of you I would never get tired of being with you.....hmmm. I remember I used to say that Wendy be the only person I'd LOVE. ...but look what happened. ....it's ok everything is counted for she got hers. ...and don't worry. ...I JUST Remember once as we walked,she was thinking As she pushed the stroller and we WALKED. ..we were Walking fast. ...I asked her what she was thinking ABOUT. ...SHE said ohh I'm just thinking about house's,Like mtv cribs ,and imagining Me living in a house like THAT. ...I looked at her and wondered, How am I going to get her a house like THAT. ....and I wished and thought if I could and HOW. ....I really felt like hopeless. ..but thought why is she thinking about THIS. ....if I was in the pillar church I'd communicate or send people to communicate with my SON s girlfriend. ..and even PAY HER ....no.!!!!!CARLOS don't think like that......that's not good is IT? NO Its not. .....its just weird how Wendy didn't even Like ME. ..then all sudden SHE did. .........you still love her? I care ALOT about HER. ....SHE is my first LOVE. .I can't or won't ever forget HER. ..I just don't know now if it was real or set UP. .....it was real CARLOS. ...YOU feel what's going on now between us is REAL? . Well the truth is I do,and I DONT. ...WHY? Because everything's that's mostly happening right now I kinda imagined it before it HAPPEND. ....what? Yes it's like a dream you live your dream but not exactly as you dream IT,but they are DIFFERENT. ..so what is happening right now is like a DREAM. .....because I imagined it somewhat this was going to happen. .....WOW. I have notes in my cell phone. Let me see THEM. ....HERE. ..............OMG. this what I'm talking about your creating this what's happening. .......I AM? YES!!!! I KNOW. ....I understand NOW. ..........so you didn't know of these notes? No Carlos I didn't KNOW. ....HMMMM. I feel like YOU DO Or did know about them.........what makes you feel this WAY? Because once I felt EVERYONE. Knew what I was doing on my PHONE ..everyone. ....they probably do.... You believe Me.? YES. ........isint. this somthing hard to believe. .....how could it happen.??? You Don't even wonder YOU just believe Me. ......I do.......I told you that this is why I like You and I love you,and want to be with you because I BELIEVE In YOU. ............do you have a HOME? My home has been the PILLAR CHURCH EL PILAR. .....WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER? ?? They have passed AWAY. .....OH. ...NO. ........please don't tell me THIS. ................ok I won't. ........I'm not homeless If that's what your ASKING or wanting to KNOW. ...I have homes. ........I have things the church has blessed me ALOT. .:)........when you speak about the church do you really mean the church or ME? ?? YOU. ..........ME? !!! YES. .......WOW. .....let's hold HANDS. ......ok....:).............I feel so happy with YOU. .........me TOO. .....I'm glad that my appearance. Doesn't matter to you. I can be ugly and feel comfortable, Don't have to hide my ugly teeth or my big nose. ...I don't like my face. ....you know. ....but YOUR not ugly CARLOS. ....YOU ARENT. ......look at the PEOPLE. What do you SEE. ?........... I. See. LIFE. .....but what kind of LIFE. ....busy. ..LIFE. ........yeah to busy to even notice......you want to be noticed CARLOS? I SOMTIMES feel I am SOMTIMES feel I'm NOT. .........I mean the church shouldn't expose me much if they know who I am. .But what about freewill. CARLOS. ...I've done enough I feel I feel like I have choices but I need to be there or noticed completely to do what I have to do NEXT. ..we are doing IT. ...together REMEMBER. .....what is wrong with me? ?? You. Go back to feelings that you shouldn't,things your supposed to let GO. ....but you don't and that's why you go back sort of like a scratched disc. You keep skipping. ..you go FOWARD then you go BACK. ..YOU go FOWARD than you go back.......why am I like THIS? ???? It's like memory loss or I'm backwards. And foward.....that's why I'm with YOU. .....Ok. ..Lets go to the church you came from THEN. .....We CANT. ...WHY? Because they sent me to you so you can go FOWARD with your plan....And what's my plan? You want to go to court,And fight all these thing's. ....I can help you they have provided me with all we NEED. ....ok so how do we get started. ...let's first have some coffee. .......ok.......so. .....what have they provided you WITH.? The TRUTH. ......that's IT! !!What! !!!! No that's not it CARLOS but that's all we NEED And HAVE.. ..we don't need anything else. ....but also they have provided me with funds for you and ME. ......that's nice. .......yes it IS. .......these funds come from YOU. ....they have ALOT of IT. .........do you want to know how MUCH. .....NO......I know it's ALOT. Though......so many years so many. Many YEARS. ......gold. and ALL. ....and I'm going through this. .....this is what I don't UNDERSTAND. ..shouldn't I be living like some kind of royalty. Its the way you created IT. .......you chose it to be this WAY. ........I did.?....... yes. Its the only way to TELL....to find OUT. ....the truth..,......and how your spirit travels. ........well I feel it ain't going nowhere. ..it's MINE. ..YOU ever felt like your being watched and everything your DOING. ..as if your being televised and you don't know about but you have a feeling you are and know what's happening. .....I think that's the illuminati. .....that spirit is one of MINE. ..but it's travels ALOT. ....I have also the spirit of a person you can't lie TO. ..and you can't direspect. And I feel like the WISEst man in the world AND people. Ask me or see ME as a teacher. ...once I was asked how do you get up THERE. ....and I said just live your LIFE. ....then that song was. Created then T.i. sang about it....I also heard a song ABOUT. Him hearing and watching that song was before I heard he went to PRISON or jail......he was like illuminating. ....I went through that TOO. ....I don't know. ...You do KNOW. ......don't ever think you don't. .....ok so back to our plan. .......ok.....how should we begin. ......we need to do somthing about the Dr s. ..and there diagnosis. ....I've proved them wrong and they know that I'm right about there diagnosis. ....it's a illness. That shouldn't even exsist. ....mentally delusional. ...that u believe I am playing a religious. Roll. ....what's the delusional. Part if all I believe in exsits. ...I'm not dilusional. ....I'm not...and how is believing that I am written in the bible. Bad or a mental illness. ...playing a religious Roll they say. I don't get paid for playing rolls actors. Play rolls are they delusional. For believing they are somone else. ...you believe you are some one else CARLOS? No I believe that I am SOMEONE. ....I AM SOMEBODY. ...GOOD. ..SO I SAY ACTORS PLAY ROLLS IM NOT ACTING I MIGHT BE. CAUSING ACTION BUT IM NOT ACTING OR PLAYING ROLLS. ......I DONT FEEL LIKE I AM.....I FEEL lIKE THIS IS WHAT I AM BEING MADE TO BELIEVE. ....OK OK.......I ALSO SAY. IF I AM DELUSIONAL. FOR BELIEVING I AM WRITTEN OR AM SOMEONE. FROM THE BIBLE THEN WHAT ABOUT THE POPE? ?? Is he dilusional. Too ?? Wow that's good that's GOOD. ......we can win this Easley. ....yeah then this doctor tells the court room that I believe I am grand dios. I never said that to him I don't even know what that is....he said people with my mental illness End up homless. AND. ....I'm thinking to my self then why are you diagnosing ME. To be this. ...then as I apply for the disability. They don't even let me have my money under my name BECAUSE. I'm to mentally ill. ....and I'm not capable of handling my own MONEY! !!! Its like the doctor wants me to end up homeless. And have no money. ......that's MESSED UP. .....I don't even understand how they came to that......that's really BAD....they really messed UP. ....what else? ?? Well. That supposedly. I'm a schizophrenic. ...what??? Wait a Minuet didn't you say you know about my case??? Yes I do but I don't know exactly. What the Dr s told you or these things you told them.....I just know of the paper work and about the sealed. Records. ...HMMMM. ....well. .....I had a DREAM. .....I heard a voice. In my DREAM. ...this voice said. ...you shall not be held accountable. For what mandid not find. ........I woke up wrote it down.......told my public defender about it and then suddenly I had to see Dr s. ..and from a dream I had now became a mental illness. ..That I hear voices. ..that's bull. I had a DREAM. ....I don't hear voices when I'm awake.......I heardthis voice In my DREAM. .....then I read the bible and found PSALMS. 22 and its for an innocent. Person. They say Jesus wrote THIS. ...I read it and it reads. Almost at the end...........please return to me my precious. Life and save me from the power of the dog! ..... I was like OMG. I DRAMT. This now I have evidence from the BIBLE. To back my dream up. That I shall not be held accountable. For what man did not find.....because of the narcotic dog. ..not to let my self be judged by an animal pretty MUCH. .....so I was so happy I read this I was saved again by the word and God helped me and spoke to me in a dream or sent an Angel to communicate with me I was so happy I FELT. Like here comes a helicopter coming to pick me up I have won victory. Victory. ..but NOTHING. ....NOTHING happened. ........they just destroyed my dreams and I wasn't understood......I even told the Dr s about my name. ....and PILLAR. ..nothing......I was a lost soul broken DREAMS. .....only chance to prove who I am or do somthing big. ...nothing. ..I'm. A homeless and I'm made to believe I am nothing. .....like I'm nothing. ....I'm just CRAZY. ...........WOW. .....I understand NOW. MORE. ..........we can win THIS. ..........but SEE. I already feel I've won. ..........because I have you. .........awww. .........I could drop all this and find a job if you wanted me too
Christina Perri. ....MUSIC
