MINE

33

MAYA'S POV

Tears rolled down my face in thick lines. I hadn't been able to stop crying. It's like a dam behind my eyes had been broken. My vision blurred as me eyes flitted around the room in silent wonder— I wondered why everything hurt so much. It wasn't as if she'd never humiliated me or hurt my feelings before, but this felt very different. I never knew someone's words could hurt me the way hers did.

Maybe I had enough. I never thought words so cruel would ever leave her mouth. How naïve of me I guess. I should've known. All of our arguments had progressively worsened over the long year we had been together, just a little more cruel every time I set out to have a decent conversation with her.

I should've seen this coming, but truthfully I don't think any amount of preparation would've softened the pain I was feeling. It felt like she had taken a hot poker and mutilated what was left of the pieces of my heart that I hadn't let her take.

The worst part about everything was I knew I would still show up. I would still be there to watch and support her because it's what I wanted. I rolled over on my face, letting the pillowcase soak up my salty tears.

I could barely even acknowledge the sound of the front door opening or closing, or even the soft knock that sounded at my door. I stayed still, hoping she'd leave me alone for once. I don't think I could bare being vulnerable right now and I knew if she even looked at me, I wouldn't be able to hide from her.

Aliyah had these eyes that always seemed to look through me and I hated that no matter how hard I tried my mask was always off with her.

She knocked again before slowly opening the door. I stayed perfectly still in hopes that she'd leave me alone to wallow in my sadness by myself.

"Maya," she said tentatively.

I didn't answer.

"Damn maybe I'm trippin'," she muttered.

I sighed, shifting so I was looking at her back as she walked away from me. She paused, turning around slowly, a slight, knowing smile on her face. "I knew I wasn't trippin'."

I cocked my head as she approached me, sitting on the edge of my bed. "I felt like something was wrong so I left class early to come see if you were okay."

"You could've just texted me instead of leaving."

"You would've lied to me."

I rolled back over again and shoved my face back into the cool, damn fabric of the pillow. "Well now you know that I'm not okay...your mission is accomplished right?"

She ignored me. "Can I join you? I won't take it personally if you say no."

"I don't really care."

She pat my back before leaving and shut the door softly behind her. I rolled over and stared at the closed door, instantly feeling bad for being mean when all she wanted to do was make sure I was okay.

I flipped the pillow and myself over so I was facing the wall and sniffled quietly. I really didn't deserve her kindness. I seemed to always push people away from me and I guess she was no exception. My tears started to fall again without my consent.

I cried even harder because truthfully I really needed someone in that moment. I was unsure of why I sent her away in the first place.

My thoughts halted when my door opened again. I rolled over and stared at her through blurry eyes.

"You poor baby," she said, her eyes displaying the sympathy of a friend that I really needed.

She approached me and sat on the edge of the bed. It was quiet as she mulled over her words carefully. I waited for her patiently, tears still silently streaming down my face as I tried my best to make them cease.